x—x

first quarter (very poor)

2026-04-06T23:17:44Z

hi it's me again. I read couple of books in the past couple months... i would've read More except possession litr killed me and sucked my soul out etc etc which, it was literally good, it was a good book, i enjoyed it and enjoyed reading it and did always want to keep reading so don't ask me what/why/who/where/when like i don't knowww i don't knowwww ... wow so it's march 30th rn... sorry it's april 6th now so literally fuck my life... and i cannot say anything except that I am a bad person (which we knew) and I don't get around the block (which we also knew) ... but also i planned so well bc my reading stats lowkey look inflated as fuck bc i was cramming tf out of those books in january...

hey guys. welcome to my post. today I will be updating you on a variety of topics and items and such, such as: books_i_read (#Literacy_Yayyyy!), games_I_Played (who up silking they song? anyone want to silk my song? hey gender-averse bug, i saw you silking your song from that conveniently placed ledge over there), and BL_I_Ran_Through (yeah it's a ran through joke idk i'm not coming up with something better) (i could make a 'ran through like that uke's hole' joke but that's crass and I also don't like my ukes ran through!!! both seme and uke should be monogamous and have lost their virginities to each other but still be really good at sex. those are my unrealistic expectations informed by pornography for the genre). I hope you enjoy. like comment and subscribe. and I am open to receiving private DMs about a vis-a-vis engagement exchange relationship... we can talk rates and word counts and prices in private. let me know if interested!

Q1 in real physically published/digitally acquired books
the stuff I read: in custody, human acts, possession, love in a fallen city, circling song, god dies by the nile, the wizard of earthsea, idol burning, how fiction works, annihilation (incompletely), denison avenue, luster, no one is talking about this, this is going to hurt. most of these were by women! so wait YAY SLAYYY...

[ in custody ] anita desai
oh this book is so fucking good... anita desai is just really fucking good... it does a really incredible job of marrying it's characters with their environments and captures the dry season and choking dust of history as well as disrepair so well, the descriptions of the landscape are just really striking and I think there is something so noxious, pitiable and yet deeply engaging with how terrible the men this novel follows are. everytime you read anita desai it genuinely drives in how much of a hack kiran desai is and how the difference in their education/culture leads to a richness in anita desai's prose that kiran desai with all her attempts at emulation/musicality never manages... like truly our nepobookerslop author... there is a real verbose quality in anita desai's work that could be offputting in how it tends to interrupt the reading experience at times, but i find very charming. the other thing about anita desai is that she is so good at doing Real Subcontinental People/Real Subcontinental Situations. another win for small not classic caliber novels!

[ human acts ] han kang, trans deborah smith
this was genuinely very haunting, and i loved the way the narrative moved between narrators, especially when she begins to self-narrate as the author ... and I think one of the things that stayed with me was that these kids were buried in their school uniforms because those were their best clothes, that was how poor these families were. I think as a reconstruction of history, it aligns with the saidya hartman venus in adonis method of like, this attempt to restore dignity to those who were so cruelly stripped of it, while also just asking if it was worth it, to participate in an act of rebellion/revolution that led to such total destruction of a life. I really am not sure how to word this, but there is a strain to nobel laureate literature that asks about the things one as a human survives as well as the things that one as a human will do to survive and I think it's a much more raw and realer way of approaching existential questions and the general realm of compared to like, philosophy. because there is something very grounded and valuable and close and deeply touching about recounting the way a young woman works fourteen hours a day and ruins her body and still has a dream of going to med school and you know she does not survive this story and you know that nothing more happens or even would happen but still this is the life she clings to and wishes to live in.

[ possession ] a s byatt
one half of this book is really really good and the other half of this book is so stuck to a specific cultural moment within the Academy that it sort actively ruins the experience of the book. as it says on the cover, it is a romance so I genuinely can't even begrudge it for the super neatly sweetly tied up ending but holy shit is the victorian romance half SO SO GOOD and the 80s british academia half like, really not. byatt has some really beautiful musical prose at times, and I love the little details of misspelling in the 19C letters but found other details like the heritage black amethyst brooch soooooo cliche... but again it is a Romance... it's actually really confusing as to what byatt feels about 2nd wave feminism esp within the academy because she does satirise it so so much but she is also taking the piss out of everything else so in the end it just feels like she was saying nothing at all [especially with how her female characters have all their stories resolved via Reward of Romantic/Sexual Connection] ... like oh okay. it was fun though! long but fun and some of the poetry was nice.

[ love in a fallen city ] eileen chang, nyrb translation by karen kingsbury
one note: I do think eileen chang's own translations of her work were much better than kingsbury's which is soooo... but this truly was a collection about love and economics and FINALLY while being TRUE TO FORM, the story that this collection was named after was the best one. it was very very good and genuinely thrilling because the first half is them having a totally insulated romance in hong kong and then suddenly? bombs?! but the only reason that it feels sudden is that their wealth allows them to completely ignore the political world around them until it no longer can and even then!!! one of the greatest literary manuevers ever [left un?]written imo. it's such a incredible narrative choice. she has this very short story about two people meeting in a tram that is sooooo #Literature_of_the_City like it goes perfectly hand-in-hand with that baudelaire poem To A Passer-by... eileen chang is genuinely very witty and incisive and also just like, it is SO FUN to see the Origin(?) or Natural uses of all the classic trashy cn webnovel tropes like the third green tea bitch wife of so and so is soooooo fun and cute to read about in Serious Literature...

[ god dies by the nile, circling song ] nawal el sadaawi
I think maybe my sadaawi experience would be improved with better translations perhaps, but I didn't particularly like either. sort of too modernist in prose for me... it was really like, poor village women gets raped, rich village man does the raping and then colludes to fuck over a fellow poor village to frame him for the rape, he gets violently murdered, and also someone is getting brutally mind fucked by the military and also tons of honour/shame culture against women and religious psychosis/guilt and female genital mutilation... I like to read 'world literature' because I want to see how the other side lives/lived and i think she did do that for me. like yayyy i can say I understood a thing or two about rural egypt in the mid-late 20C... i enjoyed the depictions of how these villagers worked and mingled in the stench of the bulls and dry fields and their own fetid sweat, but I am not sure I could stomach that much more of the 'her pointy breasts under the cloth' and totally hallucinogenic nature of how one act of violence leads to another leads to solace in mixing up childhood fantasy with memory to cope et al et al... again, I think some of these things could just benefit from a better translation. I also think I don't actually enjoy reading about violence in women though I understand that is true and factual and the very real lived reality...

[ the wizard of earthsea ] ursula le k guin
now who was going to tell me ursula guin wasn't actually black... this is what i get for going to tumblr university.... anyway this is really the lowest of her low hits.... icb you would tell someone [who is not 10] [but even someone who is 10] to read this instead of her greats hits a la THE LATHE OF HEAVEN or the one that gay [and other types of] people love like LEFT HAND OF DARKNESS or even the equally didactic but genuinely just a better narrative of ANNALS OF THE WESTERN SHORE ... like maybe the other books in this series are better but genuinely this shit just fucking sucks!!! it's way worse than every other guin.... she's way better in other ones...

[ idol burning ] rin usami
bookclub for tw3... the other pick was bunny which i dnf'd after reading like 3 pages of because I could immediately tell it was going to be bad and accurately predicted [allegedly, according to eva] the ways it was going to be bad... if you know the flaws of mfa fiction you know them... not that this was that much better. the descriptions in this were more interesting and sometimes quite discomforting in a way that aided the sort of narrative goals... one of the books were the endnote is a thousand times better than the actual book but all the same it was fine... not anything in particular but not egregiously bad...

[ how fiction works ] james wood
this is really good at describing free indirect discourse in that it sort of parses and teases out the near indecipherable layers of like the [aperture, depth of field, iso] of narrative technique specifically. but at one point he literally loses steam and runs out of meaningful things to say and flaffing like 'fiction is Not Real... but can Resemble the Real... that's realism... and we like Realism because it reminds of us what is Real and Resembles Reality' like yeah buddy... it sure does.... the reading list of all the books he mentioned at the end is pretty fun though I enjoyed that... Also, I read this book because my THE NOVEL professor was like 'if u want theory of the novel stuff you should read this' because this was secretly a creative writing and mindfulness class instead of like, a real academically rigourous look into the novel. but as I've said. this quarter was about losing.

[ luster ] raven lallani
for class. an mfa novel that wasn't written like total shit. as in, had somewhat of a unique prose style. did that make the book good? no. but was if better than the usual mfa slop thus elevating the experience completely? Yes. it's like going to a tims and they've actually cleaned out their ice coffee machine. like no it's not good but yes also it is so good comparatively. i think the most enjoyable parts of this novel was were it was just doing low art / high octane absurdism and the bad parts were the realism 'meaning of life' type shit... like i don't want or need or wish another novel about [ young woman has sex with man realises that she is worth more than the sex she has with men ] it's none of my business... i don't care... i appreciated the weird sisterkinship she has with the guy's wife but genuinely this book was at it's best when it was like 'isn't life sometimes so crazy and weird and abrupt and full of strange coincidence?' instead of the other half of it...

[ no one is talking about this ] patricia lockwood
also for class. lin mentioned patricia lockwood ten million years ago and she is invoked often enough with elif batuman but what makes elif batuman good and genuine and funny and delightful in her errant moments are what I precisely dgaf about lockwood, which is that lockwood is a poet by training ! she's a poet and you can tell !!! and so there's this thing where the individual sentence has to be non homogenous or whatever ocean vuong was saying [completely ahistoric btw] and certain discord and tension within the section/paragraph because that it what you want a poem to do. you're always controlling for stops and pauses and abruptness but fundamentally, imo, that' s not what makes a novel's prose good. anyway this book was internetty, which is a quality i knew i would not enjoy and do not look for in books. it's also emotionally manipulative as a whole, which is not a bad thing but what ends up happening is that her end note, where she reveals the name of her baby niece, is on the whole way more emotional and way more deeply affecting than the whole damn book!

i guess this book had the same problem content wise as idol burning which is like, so this is my life and my lived experience [and other books Have been able to use these things to their benefit, #The_idiot] and i just don't care for the way you've described or experienced it because it's not telling me something new or illuminating it in a new way...

[ annihilation ] jeff vandermeer
also for class. okay so I read half of this and then the rest via wikipedia.... it was fine. I have known better scifi and honestly ... perhaps truly a book that amounts to the wikipedia summary of, to it's detriment or benefit. obviously it's better-written than most popular scifi [a la the newish stuff of brandon sanderson/andy weir] but also genuinely so disappointing to have the middle plot twist reveal be like 'i, a clear asexual aromantic in a very lesbianistic set up, have a husband who i am on this expedition to look for' also the prose is not accomplished enough to sell the cosmic/weird horror vibe it tries to go for... which it's literally more descriptive and rich in environment than most scifi so i guess that's part of it's success... but i should finish it properly before i say anything too definitively... it's literally that i was reading this and going 'omg... i love scifi.... i wish i could reread the sparrow right now...'

[ denison avenue ]
for class. genuinely a book that pissed me the fuck off because there's an entire century of literary tradition that it's trying to work off of/replicate/capture and if anyone involved had read a single modernist novel it would've been so much more successful in what it was trying to do. as it stands, the op was like 'this was originally an instagram project' and Yes, it does read entirely like instagram caption prose. congratulations for yet another successful rupi kaur rip off that doesn't even outdo rupi kaur!

[ this is going to hurt ] adam kay
ooooh. this one has been on my personal tbr foreverrrrr... or for a while, since an edit of ambika mod from the show goes viral every now and then... it was so painfully obvious this was meant to be funny and snarky in a british 2010s humour way and wasn't. but the parts that weren't him trying to be funny were very good and really worth reading i think. if anyone remembers the new yorker article that came out about the NICU baby 'murder' case where a nurse was essentially framed for failures of the system, this is just another look into that system and how much it punishes everyone involved and squanders itself. one thing that was so funny is obviously the egregious amounts of pussy jokes in this [the author was in ob gyn] so when I watched the show and litr within the first 10 minutes, I was like 'whoa... bespoke #woke choice of making yourself gay in your autofictional show about yourself' which genuinely could've been one of the funniest things anyone has ever done [since he wrote the show!!!] but no he's just gay in real life and he was cautiously straightbaiting in his memoir...

Q1 in motion media
>so the last real video game I played fr fr was hades 1 on my laptop when it released. before that, like the remains of edith finch on my friend's laptop in hs, and before that, infamous 2 when I was like 13/14. I am an avid enjoyer of watching games. which is why I will also make this the movie+tv show section because all of them are basically long form moving visual narratives to me. I just have not had a console [with video games i want to play] in like over 10 years. anyway so recently, i acquired a guy who bought a switch a couple years ago and never played it and was like, 'hey babe, do you want to play my forgotten never used switch since you are the Real Gamer between us' and i was like, Well... I shouldn't because I will forsake all of my academic responsibility to fuck that shit up for 14 hours a day. so dear reader, please guess what I did.

spoilers for: hollow knight silksong, da pitt, this is going to hurt, kal ho naa ho, rocky aur rani, wuthering heights the movie [i was held hostage], the secret agent, hamnet, emma 2020 (again!)

hollow knight: silksong
okay I have to preface this with (a) I don't care about spoilers, I hate not knowing more than I enjoy being delighted by a narrative twist; (b) I am not one of god's pure gamers. or maybe I am truly the only pure gamer because Idgaf about narrative i only care about gameplay if i'm playing a game. if you want me to ENJOY your story I am better off watching someone else do it on youtube, bc if I am playing the game I will be button mashing the shit out of the dialogue to get back to PLAYING THE GAME!!!... also. as someone who loves To Know, I love to watch a 100% speedrun of a game to know what to do/where to go, because to me the part that is important about playing a game is Do I Have the Skill To Do The Same? if a game litr is just someone pressing a button to go next, like someone else can do that for me that's none of my business...

as someone who loves Environments and Exploration as well as combat, would I say the metroidvania, say even, the dark souls of metroidvanias, are the genre for me? I don't know. results nonconclusive... currently I have 85 hours in the game, I have defeated the top2 most infuriating bosses a la: Groal the Great, and Savage Beastfly 2, both who I did not find *that bad* by the end of it. obviously I got through both the cogwork core and mount fay, and am currently failing the fuuuck out of the abyss climb section so yayyyyyy for that. inshallah she will succeed soon... the fights i've enjoyed the most are LACE, i LOVEEEEEE fighting lace SHOUTOUT TO LACE... she is so fun they overtuned the fuuuuck out of this boss. phantom was also really fun but I was definitely overpowered .... i liked widow obviously, and am saving the last sinner fight for no reason. okay my thing is that I lowkey have gotten to the point in the game where there's only boss battles left for me to do and that's like... Fine I Guess but I miss the exploringggg... so I keep not fighting bosses.... I enjoyed the platforming parts more than I thought I would.... I fucking love the music and the visuals of this game. I LOVE HORNET!!!!!!! whom I have loved since like 2020... so yeah ofc...

imo so much of my pleasure about this game comes from the fact that one of the most anticipated and biggest releases of all time is a game about WOMEN and MOTHERHOOD and in a serious and meaningful way and KINKEEPING and COMMUNAL CARE which is so so awesome especially for like mainstream [non indie] video game, which is a genre that is still in 2006 re: gender politics... anyway it's fucking awesome and has many awesome awesome characters one of which is kicking my ass, SECOND SENTINEL!!! anyway I'm content with the knowledge that I'm a gamer but I can't even be like 'this is my favourite game' because I don't have enough games under my belt to be making such definitive statements. there's no way that I'm not having fun but dangggg can it be rough.

no other choice
oh this movie was so fucking good park chanwook !!! i love that this genuinely is a black comedy and it makes such good very prescient commentary. fucking love that it ends with his daughter playing the cello for them as he loses his hearing for this job he's literally killed to afford. i love the final shot of their house/compound where you realise it's literally secluded from a very suburban row. GOD!!!!! also everyone in this movie does a killer performance, especially the two wives.

emma 2020
still one of the greatest and most perfect movies of all timeeeee IDC IDC if you disagree you are going to hell... yes this may be personal shade sorry I just don't get it NO ONE is allowed to dislike my favourite most perfect movie of all time...

+clueless
completely massacres the entire point of emma by not having any of it be cher's fault... so actually it's terrible and i hate it...

the secret agent
really good acting and really great cinematography and SHOUTOUTTT TO THE GLOBAL SOUTH BELT this movie is sooo good at conveying humidity and heat through the choice of shots and the costumes, like the very thin translucent shirts and slobby shorts for everyone is such great costuming... I liked all the narrative choices and manuevers, but the future/present story is the weakest bit...

wuthering heights
this movie was so egregiously bad that I started reading real actual wuthering heights in the middle of my viewing. and it was genuinely so much better. and it wasn't even funny!!!! kind of the only hysterical part was genuinely when it become a charli xcx music video for a little bit and even then I just got so mad about all of the narrative choices being made...

hamnet
this movie has 1 good scene and it's when hamnet goes 'something's there in that corner, watching' and it changes so the audience is now watching from the corner and you realise you are the Predatory Vulture of Death feeding on the emotional pain/torture of these children and it's really really good... otherwise is genuinely total shite, I think I like joe alwyn as an actor, paul mescal's gay earring staying in was certainly A Choice, the cinematography is really good and beautiful but the movie is just awful as a whole. i like really was so ready to cry so much and I only cried 1 time. like the emotional manipulation movie can't make me cry more than once? be fucking forreal rn i cried at PROM 2011 which remains so stark in my mind as a aberrant occasion bc it really highlighted to me how i have the emotional integrity of 1-ply tissue paper.

zootopia 2
this is only making the list because I have to tell you guys that H's sister watched this movie 11 times. nicke wilde is a wwx variant btw.... his ukeism could be off the charts if they let it...

kal ho naa ho
genuinely a movie where srk is so handsome and stylish in all the dance sequences, but especially pretty woman like the little bit of belly was soooo chic! also like SLAYFUL SOUNDTRACK. and naina is sooo cuuuteee in looks and personality like i loved that she was so angry and annoying and stubborn and headstrong, like so sossososo cute moebomb. it was really an early innovation for polyamory/challengers-style trios but they didn't quite stick the landing and i was genuinely so baffled by the ending like Ok So what? like i just felt the emotional resolution was not resoluting...

rocky aur rani
this movie is genuinely such a good comedy it's unreal ... of the most unintentional is the totally shit bangla the bengali family speaks, but like rani having her own theme song that riffs whenever she has a #Girlboss moment is so crazy. and also: One of the wokest movies to ever come out of bollywood. ANDDDD the main couple not only have hella chemistry but you actually root for the competent smart girlboss x himbo with a heart of gold. the fucking dola re dola climax sequence entire sequence is SOOOOO GOOOD!!!! like genuinely emerald fennel fucking WISHES her total opulence and visual overindulgence looked like that. but genuinely why does rani have a gay stay at home dad and lesbian breadwinner mom and a grandmother who endorses cheating. I also really felt like the final emotional climax/fight was really well earned and the way rani defends herself + the eventual resolution is really well done because it's fucking true no matter how much you hate your boyfriend's sexist pig dad you can't be raising a hand against him!!! but also true he has to apologise first for you to apologise... also loved the respective grandmothers and rocky's mom and sister... this was a rewatch and I was lowkey playing skong the entire time but it genuinely was so good.....

the pitt
genuinely seeing the discourse about this show has been 10000000x times going 'is this everyone's first time watching a TV show?' my top3 to no ones surprise are: javadi, al-hashimi and mel.. also like insane that javadi is genuinely the most simple character to understand and lowkey genuinely the only person who has no real flaws other than nepotism [which she can't even control] and somehow we still get befuddling takes about her.... like... Ok..... I LOVE DR. AL-HASHIMI I BELIEVED IN HER AND WAS ON HER SIDE SINCE DAY 1!!!!!! like insane that you have spent an entire season with an extremely empathetic autistic woman who likes to follow rules and protocol [mel] but it's suddenly repulsive and terrible when it's coming from another woman in s2? like is it because she's in a position of power now? is it because she's brown? it's not the ai thing for sure because they whiteknighted the fuck out of that. i just think it's crazy that i've seen trinity santos getting read as autistic before al hashimi like.... okay let's all hate rigid rule followers for no reason.... they definitely gave her and trinity the most compelling stuff to work with this season, so shoutout to them ... and i also genuinely can't even be switzerland about trinity santos like i'm giving it her overeager defenders even if they ship garsantos and thinks she's a bottom like she genuinely has done nothing wrong and is always reacting to situations in a really normal and RIGHTEOUS way like of fucking course you want to see your MALE coworker get crucified for being a terrible sexist pig to you and instead you get to be culpable in letting him get away with STEALING DRUGS FROM HIS HOSPITAL ... like i litr don't know how people don't immediately clock the gender politics and feel sympathetic towards her reaction, even without knowing about her trauma or like anything else. like you would be mad as shit as just as vindictive and feeling terrible and unforgiving in that situation!!!! LIKE HAVE YOU NEVER FELT LIKE SHIT BECAUSE A MAN TREATS YOU LIKE SHIT FOR THE CRIME OF BEING A WOMAN SHAPED TARGET WHO FEELS THE RIGHT TO SPEAK NEAR HIM ? sorry.... anyway mohan's writing really has been so let's starve a horse, lead it to poison water, wait for it to slowly almost die, then shoot it 6 times. like oh okay! so i understand the frustration but her fans are lowkey as delusional as langdon fans... obviously because javadi has done nothing wrong and only been super competent and able to #handle it, no one gaf about her.... i also realised i do enjoy whitaker as the actual pathetic sopping meepy character he is on the show and not whatever fanon delusion is fuelling him. my request for fanon delusion is that we need trans girl denise whitaker in a will-they-wont-they bully-victim dynamic with her rooommate the prickly trinity santos PLEASE GOD IF YOU CAN HEAR ME..... genuinely that 'oh you like having me around' argument was SOOOOO.... i CAN SEE IT SO CLEARLY,... WHITAKER TAKE E RIGHT NOW YOU CAN BE SAVED.... obviously robby breaking down and causing damage destruction everyone by lashing out is really good tv and i enjoy seeing it, dana is lowkey whatever, but i really liked emma and also really liked the digby case and everything that happened there :) digby was genuinely so so sweet...which is why i liked it, i didn't care for the Nurses are good people for treating a homeless person like a real person like I sure hope you would!, mel and mckay were given Nothing to work with but it's okay i'm going to be riding that stud4butch parker ellis x mel king high until s3 when they become canon that's #MyTruth.... the thing about both characters is that people love to ship propagandize them and it really hurts because like mel and langdon are Fine on the show, I don't really care, it's nice that mel has a friend but we really could crack at it again with trinity like at one point i believe it can happen i really doooo...

this is going to hurt
I think this show is actually really really well written and i think the [talks to camera]-bit really really good and really works with it and i think it made a really good choice of adaptation to split his character traits/stories between multiple protagonists, and I think there is something so well done in showing unpleasant/unlikeable/uncharming people and the conditions that made them so and how much >That doesn't matter to anyone who doesn't know!!! idk, also it's like a british show so everyone's a good actor. ambika mod really is good in this role... idk for a show that's about showing how much the system wears down on the most noble and heroic tasks/people to eventually make everything they are and do unheroic and unnoble is really really good... it's just really really good. but maybe it has a terrible second half idk haven't gotten there yet

Q1 in BL

I did lapse into a depressive episode for the feb-march period where at one point I was scouring through mgg for a reason to live... that happens to Us All... i loved to show off my insane reading/already read stats on mgg as proof of my #Real_Fujo card but um ... so they nuked that shit... rip </3 stuff I've been enjoying lately:

Tatsuki to Tamaki yoshida yuma
I saw the cover and I was like 'this is definitely pseudo-BL bc i haven't seen it in the yaoi tag, and lo and behold! it was. it has decent art and I think it's funny and charming and enjoy all the dynamics being presented and i think it's really self-aware in a good way, bc at one point one of the characters does an aside about enjoying the SL and wanting that to be the main cp over the actual cp and I was like >OH! So you do mean to write this in a way where, I, the susceptible reader would also be doing that!!!.... also i loooove the editor character at one point there's a panel where she holds out her own nui doll to take a picture of at a tourist spot and i'm like OP YOU GET EVERYTHINGGGG... i also think they have a really strong grasp on what their characters are and what they do and that sort of stability/direction is really nice to see.... ig it's kind of the rocky aur rani of this batch...

you are my world bbong
I love buff uke, I love pathetic sopping wet pretty boy seme, op definitely understands what is erotic and sexy about a built male body, it's fulfilling most of my conditions even though i lowkey despite tsundere uke. however we did just get to the rape plot which i really didn't think was going to happen but it is omegaverse bl i guess.... anyway i really like it so far and op has created a dynamic i think is soooo delicious [mostly in part due to how the seme is acting] so yayyyy yiippeeeee.

courtside courtship samjang shaman
MY GOAT 1PICK OF THIS BATCH. i love the art i love the way it's coloured i think the expressions op draws for the seme and his siblings are so fucking funny as are their interactions, i love my ukes and plots a little absurd with it AND I LOVE A TENDERHEARTED SEME!!!!! this is literally so so delicious and good for me and i really have been waiting on this official trans stockpile for a while and I am excited for me!!!!

golden light for you baetodi
oh i really can't say that much about it bc i am knocking against the concept and older uke and stupid young puppy seme, but the uke is litr so handsome and my type so it's good for me because of that... and i do like yakuza mafia plot like ofc i love dumb mindless violent dog uke like that's catnip to a guy like meeee ... i also do love a mentally fragile delicate suicidal seme [coming up later] but this guy does not stay in that state for long enough... i also love a young girl side character soooo cuuute to meeee

family liver registry soru
speaking of cute little babie girl children... i'm sorry i'm easy i litr love a co-parenting bl it's so funny to meeee... litr the little sister is so facking cuuute and i love her gag with the made up mascot character of choice ... nice dynamics nice set up nice art im enjoying everything. it's randomly supernatural and it did feel like Well? What Ok peggles but i like when the seme is a victim to Ploys and Schemes and Susceptible to Evil Influence better than when the uke is so that's a plus... also i love the exact kind of idiot the seme is so that's also enjoyable to me...

the taming chada
just put the buff handsome black hair uke and delicate frail prettyboy seme in the bag. just put the fries in the bag bruh. we all know what i like and this is fulfilling the base requirements. i actually don't like size difference that much but it's fine.. it's not like Bad i also love the class difference/servant-master cosplay so it's going to be sooo sad when it ends but let me enjoy it while i can...

the 11th school trip do haneul
i like the art and character design. pretty regular webnovel mystery solving bl set up... another one to the bag of emotionally fragile delicate semes that have to be treated with care and handled carefully... i will not be reading this again until the extras come out so like, see you in 100390404 years... I'll be here.. enjoying bl for ever...

office hero LattePanda
shoutout to LattePanda my goattttt.... beautiful textures and lines and always understanding plain/handsome black hair uke and prettyboy seme ... and this time he's psychologically tortured and cold and distant and ill of health.... LITERALLY WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR!!! i also love the one-sided reincarnation love trope i love when a guy suffers romantically it's always good for me....

sorry that these reviews were so scant in detail but like most of these are only 20-ish chapters rn I don't have much to say!!!

so hopefully there was something for everyone... that's my q1 wrap-up. did personal things happen to me also? probably. actually can everyone please please please go look at my alhaitham plate rn!!! if that attachment does not work LMK i will move it onto gdocs. not only is that an image my mother has received [to which she replied: why didn't you make me anything?] but she has been told a few other harmless facts, so everyone take bets on what she's doing with that information.

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a post-literate man... the woman without reading ability... the end of reading and the last Trier...

2026-01-08T01:03:26Z

everytime I say this I really am stealing valour from the subaltern who really can't read and haven't been reading but my god, like, Bruh... uh a very lackluster or normal af reading year for me... 2025 was a year that had a lot going on or maybe not that much going on or maybe I really did become a newer better person or something idk, hard to tell, who knows! who knows! I'm bad at actually making my reading_lists posts and also I've documented my reading and opinions of elsewhere this year... so should I do it again? I don't know... I'm having the reverse of my usual crisis where I don't want to waste time writing because I want to be reading... sorry I have A List to get through... I have a normal sized list.... and a scary ... and a real and normal-small amount of books at home... which I bought quite a few books in 2025 [and some within the last week] [and obviously to commemorate nothing, I did a meaning-and-secret-and-impromptu exchange with H where she got me YOUR NAME HERE and I got her the complete cavafy].

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WEIRD YEAR

2026-01-03T09:23:34Z

Hi guys. So like, ten million years ago I made a post about making out with a girl at a party. We called her N, and she is an arab baddie who is a great time at parties and still does want to drunk makeout with me. Occluded in that post, was that when ex-oomr, who will we call S, tapped on my back and N's back to get us to makeout, we were sitting across from H and having a normal/funny 3way conversation. H, similar to N, is an arab baddie and they both have Eyebrows™️ and big buggy eyes that are made smaller by the lens of her glasses, and they're both quite fair. Anyway, so guess who won.

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parafictual?

2025-12-06T07:34:18Z

as it says. famously, amazingly, paratext can exist without a text. but a text cannot exist without paratext. working based off that: paratext for a fic that is likely not getting written but at least I can procrastinate my life/academic prospects/etc away by writing this post about it Instead... so, here is my outline/concepting/etc of a: sukugego anna karenina x the tale of genji heian era au

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ao3 trawling 725 edition

2025-11-11T06:14:24Z

okay I've been wanting to make this post for like last 5?6? ship tags I've gone through but it's difficult to sit here and be like 'ahhh let me leave my thoughts on fics that i thought were mostly insignificant' but if anyone's keeping track i have gone through the haikavetham tag, the sirus/remus tag, i think I did just a generic read through of fandom big names atp, and I did a lot of the phaidei tag. today's tag is not any of those, and I'm sort of still actively reading through whatever getogojo fic i can find so... I just want to call it at this arbritrary point, because I've stopped filtering for rated E fic only, and have found people with BOOKMARKS who actually BOOKMARK FIC and this is an exciting development that lead to understand, once again, the reason I write so much character study is actually because character study is my favourite thing to read Also, and I really dgaf about porn... sorry... but it is so nice when it's there, i just don't want it to be there in fic i think is serious isn't that CRAZY...

however, before we get this started, I did do a mini-side quest into fe3h mediest land midway through, and came being no.1 sylvain fan because he was really was always being depicted in a situation and without sympathy in a way I wish would happen to gojo all the time... thank you mediest... ANYWAY... that aside, there's going to be actual weight and heft and Real Things to #Talk About in this fic[lit] review because it's no longer just bad or good porn....

some notes on things I like and don't like:

we all know that ship order has a nonzero effect on characterisation because of how we've internalised certain hang-ups about pederasty/romance/wtv ... here are my things that I believe are canon and that fic should respect whether or not I like the ship order they do it about, and tend to respect about fics whether or not i like the ship order: [socially inept and emotionally unintelligent gojo satoru] this is my big one, which goes hand-in-hand kinda with [gojo is stuck at the restaurant] which mostly just means [gojo fell harder and pined harder and loves more], this i think is simply true because [geto cares more about his ideals than he does satoru] which I think is really important to understand how agency affects his moral/psychological transformation. like c'mon guys... so those are my big ones that I believe preserve sort-of the important aspects of what makes their relationship appealing To Me, and thus is what I want to see depicted in fic...
we all know I hate woobification... literally I don't want poor angsty victim babygirl who is so insecure and needs love and big fat cock and is sooo sad and hurt ... i cannot stand ittttt like I barely enjoy this kind of suffering and it does not make this character more erotic or sexualisable or enjoyable to me in any way... moral argument alert! but Geto Suguru is, in canon, a genocidal murderer cult leader. like I don't need to nor do i particularly want to feel sorry for him, or think he didn't actually deserve it and was misunderstood the whole time, which I know is not always the objective of woobifying fics, but is nonetheless the effect. in the different way, I think you fundamentally misunderstand gojo and how he suffers if he is cognisant of his own suffering. like gojo satoru is the single character I want whump of* real bad because he does not actually understand why or how he is in this situation, he doesn't know what he's done to deserve it, and he does not put actual value into his own suffering. [*case 0 is mydei who i wanted Waterboarded] like he absolutely deserves the sylvain_fe3h treatment because he is both at fault for everything he's done and is incapable of understanding how his nurture has shaped him and because he can't even articulate that, no one else will/should feel sorry for him either!!! he's one of the skinner pidgeons! if geto's great tragedy revolves around the way he seeks agency, gojo's great tragedy is that he never even realises he lacks it and therefore lacks the ability to grasp at it...
夏五. geto/gojo. summer5. that is my chosen ship order. I don't want any other food. I'm picky, that's my molly tea order with no matcha foam please. like I don't think rev order is innately bad or mischaracterised or anything, I just like it better this way because i have gojo_prion_disease. it happens to the best and worst of us. my two bones are here: sugusato order tends to ... just elide geto's psychological hang-ups/issues/problems ... like hello? I want my man depressed and struggling and on the brink? like he's a great caring loving responsible indulgent leash-holding boyfriend. at least tell me he takes antidepressants? whatever... satosugu order, on the other hand... literally Crimes of Woobification and everyone is like 'he's sooo depressed and sad and struggling and overworked and insecure and self-hating bbygrl' girl what about his superiority complex? hello? that was the best part. that was literally beautiful and NECESSARY representation for depressed guys who think they're better than everyone else and hate themselves for it. that's where you get the self-hating part from!!!! also no one believes in exploring his image gap. like alright man. let's not even take this seriously. gojo is probably a harder character to mischaracterise on the surface if you keep all his shallow notes, but geto literally suffers soooooo much on both sides. ACCORDING TO MY INTERPRETATIONS. shoko also suffers but everyone is excused for that because she has like 10 lines in canon.
back to my aforementioned, most general bone: Why does everyone think Geto is the pining, more in-love half? [...] like there's one thing in thinking Gojo doesn't realise he's in love at all, point-blank, and therefore can't be pining about it ... but he does realise at some point... and even if he doesn't in whatever point your fic is taking place in, well who left who, and who broke up with who, and who chides who about holding on until the very end, is very apparent. as is, gege akutami saying gojo's single complex is being unable to change geto's mind. as is, i don't know... the shibuya incident? ... a plan that only works because Gojo Satoru, if not stuck at the restaurant, Returns To It? ... anyway, I feel like this problem would not occur if fandom collectively fixated on the 'At least curse me a little at the very end' line instead of the 'We're the Strongest duo' line... because one is far more romantic and torturous than the other. TO ME. and wayyyy more revealing of gojo's character/naivete/morals... AT HIS BIG AGE OF 28 TOO!!!!
I don't like aus. I like the jjk universe, I like canon divergence, I like this ship because this ship cannot be reasonably extricated from the universe it was written within. there is no such thing as Gojo Satoru unless he is the Strongest, and the mess of that title comes up with all the things wrong with Jujutsu society... everything wrong with gojo works Best and Most Perfectly in jjkverse... anyway. I approach aus with extreme prejudice, that's all.
I don't like internalised homophobia and I just don't think it would be real for this ship, where BOTH , TWO , BOTH parties reject social conventions and norms with extreme prejudice. like yeah they know the rules. fuck the rules though.
like okay I have categorised approaches to geto whump/angst/psychoanalysis/character study fics into two modes, and it's either, and often more commonly (and I think, incorrectly): [geto hates himself for meaning too little to gojo] OR [geto hates himself for meaning too much to gojo] ... which, look, I personally don't see or particularly care for the self-hating aspect, I think there's a lot self-burden, and I think there is a lot of repulsion/disgust caught up in there, but i don't think all of it is necessarily directed at himself. and I think a lot of fic reaches for like Guilt/Shame as like guiding emotions that lead you, the reader, to [want to] sympathise with him. again, this is neither here nor there for me as a reader, but I think what really turns off me is how these things intersect with Gojo as character/concept. I really don't think that geto would be cold/cruel or hateful as some gojo_angst tries to ascribe, but by trying to convince me/your reader, that geto cares more about gojo and meaning something to him and his hatred of his own weakness is because he's not gojo's equal, very directly undercuts his choice to break away from jujutsu society, and how he does that to escape his own weakness. not because he's beholden to gojo's morals or gojo's strength, but because he himself feels powerless and used outside of that, and he feels this way not because of gojo but because of how his fellow sorcerers are treated. like, my reading of XX village massacre + KFC break-up is reliant on the line: "Kill me if you want, there's meaning in that." Geto has not only chosen to grasp and give himself agency through becoming a curse user, but he's encouraging Gojo to do the same, to follow the path he finds for himself. anyway. we may come back to this later when I review some fic...
sort-of my white whale of fic I have yet to find is like gojo-navel-gazing fic? not that exactly but... it should ideally be outsider pov pitying gojo for being so arrested development and stuck at the restaurant and barely even understanding those things about himself and never knowing or even realising there Could Be something outside being a weapon... all while he is still hated in the nation and perpetuating all the things that make it impossible to pity him/be nice to him/etc... like AUUUGHHH it would taste so good... it tastes so good in my mind... sorry I just really want delicious rich meal of gojo_nonwhump_whump... gojo being painfully unaware of himself My Favourite Flavour I will say that shit forever and ever and ever....
'parental gojo satoru' really pisses me off. the attachment he could have to megumi/tsumiki and the responsibility he assumes over them is not analogous to geto<>mimiko/nanako... like it could not be more obvious or clear but whatever... and, not to touch on recent jjk twt discourse, but gojo satoru is an extremely middling muddied figure where his morals/affections/attachments/teaching abilities are very confused. because he! is! a! confused! unactualised! unrealised! guy!!! if his character seems underdeveloped and contradictory, that's actually, and I hate to say it, on purpose! that's gege akutami being a good writer! he has his shit IN THE BAG when he wrote gojo satoru. you have to accept and write him as the half-baked impulsive, mostly personally motivated guy that he is!!!
i don't have a 10th point. YET. i'm sure I'll find one. well some smaller nitpicks that people are culpable of ... first of all: 1st year trio are not gojo's favourites. gojo's favourites are the 2nd years. what? that can't be true. WHO IS HE TEXTING ABOUT MEGUMI GETTING ALL BEAT UP? + I will agree that itadori is kind of up there if not There as his student 1pick, but that's sort of like, protag privileges ngl... anyway... but saying this also, I find it really hard to believe that people like gojo in general and are allied with him For His Personality, like In Fic... like if it's double teachers au/no defection esp, like, be honest with me... let's all be honest with one another...

anyway. onto the actual review portion of this.

Carry Me Home
+this is like, The Fic? to me? in that it really made me appreciate geto's moral journey, was a really good piece of fiction on top of being a good character study fic, and literally had famous famous line of [geto to gojo]: "I care about my ideals more than I care about you." WHILEEE spending the entire fic throwing up over how much he loves gojo... which is so beautiful to me because it really highlights that you cannot save people and gojo himself saying he can only save those that want to be saved...like the only person who can change geto's mind is geto himself + just the way it highlighted the difference in maturity between 17sg 17st 28gt 28gj ... like BRUHHH... i think i just generally really like 17x28 as a subgenre in jjk, and I think this one really did such a good job in showing the relative Lack of development between the two gojos [like one has just seen more death now] and the backslide of older geto where he is maybe a far more curated person who is pre-occupied with Performance [perfect, no notes] but his morality and fanaticism has degraded him... it was just reallyy good and really understood so many things about jjk canon and what i felt about it INCLUDING my ult thesis of [gojo is always collateral] because even in this fic, like so much of it happens with 17st being offscreen and or BEING LEFT BEHIND, while 28yr gojo can barely say anything that matters and honestly, in a DIVINE, STROKE OF GENIUS-like choice, 17yr geto hates him. like i think that's also sooooooo **__** because of course he does! the carelessness and ineptitude doesn't look as good at 28 as it did at 17!!! but i think there was also something soooo moving and perfect about 28yr old gojo being described as 'awkward' and Noted to be Bad At This ... idk there's so much to noting how much he's been left behind in so many different ways, no? DOWN TO ALWAYS HAVING TO BE THE ONE TO FIND GETO!!! and I think this was especially sooo potent when compared to geto's relative sociability and the ease with which, as a 17 ON THE BRINK is able to handle similar situations... like genuinely the wide chasm between them TT like idk it was also so affecting because there's such a potent emphasis then on who gets to be/remain a child and who is forced to 'grow up' ... AUGH...
+ch10 has this pill bottle moment, which to me was THE most satisfying reading experiences i've gotten from ao3 ever. like I was shocked and gagged and so deeply impressed and affected, and impressed by the character first and foremost! and then by the author for coming up with this. like the experience was so diegetic, which on ao3, at least for me, i am always so aware this is OP's understanding of:, but this was just like HYPE MOMENTS and AURAAAA x69000 I wasn't even like 'how did op come up with this' i was just super fucking impressed with this character and his own understanding of his situation... like it felt so good watching him outsmart himself.
+in the end, I really enjoyed everything this fic promised me, it put a lot of beautiful images in my mind and made me #ponder and #think... and I read some of op's other stuff, which we'll cover but i love the chaste aroasexuality they write adult getogojo like yeah. it is so fucking complicated it's unreal..

sediment
+this is literally a fic that is so famous to me in my mind because the concept of like >being in love with a guy who hates that you're in love with him so much that he'll barely admit to it> like yeah. it happens. LIKE HOLY FUUUUCK... in execution i really don't know how i feel about it but I do want gojo to be yelled at and unfairly victimised and I like the conceit of everything that's happening here probably more so than the execution, 'as if you haven't made an emotionally comprised decision' was SUCHHH a good line but idk if the comeback was deserved but literally... op does this thing where clearly they really understand gojo's narrative role in both the jjk story and the story they're telling, but he is also so genuinely inscrutable On-Screen in fic ... where you can INTUIT that he is in love and he's being unfairly treated and he is making the active decision to let this happen to him but at the same time, you're just Not Allowed to Know this. esp not from his own mouth. like these are all the logical and natural conclusions to what's happening and because it's a fic that's been tagged accordingly, You Know, but you're still denied the Certainty of it. GOD DAMNNN... what a crazy way to preserve the agency/dignity/etc that has been stripped from him.. bc again, he is so often Forced to play such a passive role in a story he wants to be in... AUGHHH. gojo satoru my beloved.
+so like in many ways, i am the guy being edged and ruined orgasm'd and dickmatized and etc by valleykeys but they also know that is litr what i want... so...

Anchor
+I should be making a valleykeys tab but it's FINEEE...this was the other one of their fics I quite liked and also the fic where I was really convinced that they were charmed and affected by gojo satoru's innocent naive shining heart fr fr fr because they do really think he is a teenage girl and geto is a delicate victorian gender neutral something ? I DON'T KNOWWW... but I did like this fic like yayyyy everyone let's take a break from the doom and gloom and #angst... everyday we suffer because of the ships we choose?

a decade's worth of days with you
+this was in valleykeys bookmarks, and valleykeys bookmarks, they've led me well okay... except for this and 1 other thing, because this was a DNF... combination of 'I wouldn't want him to say that' and 'you're not convincing me that he would say that' AND like a lot of inconsistency with Geto vs Suguru vs Gojo vs Satoru ... it did start out decently funny, but ultimately I found that I did not care for the geto characterisation and if it was better, then I would've been way more open-hearted about the Vaguely Mature and Understanding gojo ... or maybe not. and I did go in, having crtl+f'd for cock to make sure the switch tag would not landmine me, but ultimately I just don't believe[/am not really interested in a] Gojo is capable of the sort of delicate and emotionally attuned actions he takes in this fic...
+this is the fic that made me realise the thing about [geto hates himself for not meaning more to gojo], because that is it's approach. like I really don't understand what and where and when in the timeline geto would be like 'whoa he fucking hates me and finds me sick and disgusting' which is not an unreasonable thing, given like psychosis and depression et al, but he didn't even have that much psychosis or depression in this!!! so, like HELLO?
+also like, gojo was making breakfast for geto and I was like really shocked and gagged by the allegation that he would be so nice and wifely and attentive and caring...ANDDD he wanted to go out of his way to meet the twins... so Who do you think gojo satoru is and what have you replaced him with? litr a fic about giving gojo a lobotomy a year earlier than expected?

bodily fluids
>read this litr while writing this post and it was kind-of scary because of the switching references... ummm... it was fine.. it was normal... the only thing I have to say is that I didn't like the lack of contractions, especially in dialogue because it just felt quite unnatural [...] i think I liked the gojo, but again, really easy to hit the shallow gojo notes imo [esp bc a lot of that shallowness is the brunt of his character] ... the other thing I have to say, is that like I really like it when people just tell me in fic straight up that X character doesn't like bottoming. like yayyyyy. it's okay to admit that. i think it's very brave and the easiest most satisfying way to justify fixed order :)
>I read the other zofgk fic and I just don't think they're for meee style-wise even if the characterisation is decent... but it's OK...

the swipe of a scythe
+oof... theoretically everything I want from postcanon everyone!lives fix-it fic where it is actually really hard to fix-it... and actually nothing can be fixed and having people alive is way more complicated and fucked up than having them die!!
+I really liked the gojo in this... i genuinely think I would care/like so much 'Good' sugusato fic more than I do if they tended to be as attentive and caring about gojo's [1000000000 psychological problems and issues and things he has wrong with him but is literally too much of an idiot to even understand or know himself!!!] as much as geto's... like this is literally tagged 'Gojo gets to be mad!' which i think is a beautiful valiant tag and I wanted to see it bc, in an unpublished post I lambast over how gojo is literally so bad at being mad in general [why does he have to be told to curse geto!!!!] so it actually would've been really nice if that tag was not as subtle as it was... maybe I wasn't reading attentively or generously enough bc i felt like a lot of what must've been op's intent to showcase anger came off more as awkwardness, and maybe it is one and the same for gojo, bc i litr just said he was bad at being mad and so maybe it does manifest like that.
+but I think ultimately really enjoyed the awkwardness as key to the re-adjustment... I do think gojo being awkward when faced with any non-jujutsu vaguely vulnerable/delicate situation is SOOOOO...literally gapmoe charm trait to every degree possible MY HONEYPLUMMM... like and YES i do think it would only happen with geto actually. like i think he's very capable of bulldozing and doing his thing any other time bc it Does Not Reallyyy Matter [to him] ... [I KILLED YOUR DADDY] ....
+so in the end, like you, the reader, expected me to say: Really a fic I would've enjoyed more from gojo pov and actually just if it was about gojo instead full stop...

The Heart of the Perfection of Wisdom
+kind-of wanted I wanted on the tin... but I didn't love it... I was thinking 'oh this is so american...' and then op lampshaded it two lines later, being like 'wow gojo you watched too many american movies' like damn okayy... idk didn't love the prose or the resolution but conceptually it was everything to me... like i do love the idea of gojo going crazy in prison realm by mashing together memories that happened/didn't happen/he wanted them to happen and his own brain fucking that up for him... but birdginia already did that and better....

A Change of Masters
+just really funny in premise and concept TwT but I literally do hate uncritical capitalist young master heir ascendant gojo... like... cmon now... AND ALSO, ANOTHER THING, they gave him daddy issues for nooooo reason it... like he literally doesn't have those. like his parents are a non-issue thing because he was spawned on earth fully formed? i don't know...
+just. uh imagine getting the best dicking of your life by the hottest guy you've ever met and then he starts ranting about the class war near the end... end it all bruh,...

the void behind my face
+great fic. birdginia gets it. they have the twine box fic, which is nice and really really good [probably better?] than this one, but this one really scratches the itch of like Needing Evil Things To Be Done With Gojo Who Barely Has The Facility To Handle It... like genuinely, brushing off his own rape into >litr deluding himself because he wants it to be suguru so bad like he needs this one thing so so bad... like it really was a Moment of All Time, how awful and romantic and terrible that kenjaku/gojo scene was... like my poor guy reduced to a teenager in love once again TT ... so good because of how it indulges in gojo’s delusions while also ripping them into shreds + gojo having never been hurt like that in his lifeeeee and also unable to be imagined being hurt like that ever like it scratches a spot so good…

covered in false images (just like God)
+literally such a scary fic... because it truly makes you feel like catwhoatethelemon but also like, there is such a scary landmine that happens in this fic... WHICH IS FINEEEE... anyway it is soooooooooooooo YAYYY interactive fiction YAYYY i literally am experiencing being in prison realm, but I also just love the fucking IMMEDIACY? of how much love there is and how much love he feels, like I think that's genuinely the most fucked up thing about both birdginia fics, is that there isn't a 'there was love' or 'i did love him' it is just, STILL LOVE, ACTIVE PRESENT IN LOVE, like he is once again and still forevermore a giddy lovesick teenage overblown by the feeling... aughhhh it is so fucked up how romantic it is...
+the 'you're going to think about something else right now, thanks!' into 'you're a goddamn idiot' into 'you can't do this you can't do this you did this' is always so sos osososososooso good, like #yasss the total flippant desperation that gojo always approaches any sign of a problem with... ;rainbowjokebear; ;tearyeyes;
+ALSO. insanely good writing all across the board and insanely good use of twine as a format AUGHHHH

A Light Touch
+this was suuuuch a good episodic fic... like all over the place, the teen insecurity, the >Just Kids of it all..., really good voice/story/character and extended cast... the river of nostalgia that runs through it, like you, the reader, are seeing it is as a memory even though it happens in present tense for the characters... Idk mood/atmosphere/writing was all there and all real good.
+I also liked their other fic, Ignore the Greek Chorus, a little less but I think they do such a good job of showing the way that gojo's careless consideration/affection manifests in... I think I told hannah i don't care about hidden inventory era fic, or that I was sickkkk of the high school nostalgia of it all but that really isn't true because I LOVE INNOCENCE!!! and I think there is sooo much terror and sickness and doom that you feel read any fic set at that point in the timeline bc you, as the reader, are like 'THEY DONT FUCKING KNOW!!!' and you, as the reader, are like 'THEY WERE HAPPY ONCE!!! THEY WERE HAPPY HERE!!!' ... idk it just scratches that itch that you want fanwork to scratch sooo bad so well...

inbetween
+I really liked this fic, ummm... there were just such a good scattering of moments [ramen on the stove], [not hugging itadori], the general Not A Sane or Okay Guy but whatever we ball attitude of it all... like this is my nickel of fic found that is taking gojo's general unwellness seriously and observing how it manifests, and I think it does quite a good job, I just ... don't think he gave that much of a fuck about nobara/tsumiki/megumi ... like I think, in concept, he is not someone haunted by his dead...
+on the other hand, I really didn't like op's ten years fic, but I did like their grapes fic, which I really do love time-travel where nothing changes and nothing is fixed... I LOVEEEE FUTILITY AND DOOM and also it was so so scary to read while listening to charli xcx john cale House, like yeah. you are going to die in this house. like transformation irt to haunted man carrying his dead [geto suguru] ... LIKE LOOK. i think gojo cares about his living, and he cares about his future, but it's also true that his emotional core has been warped by the existence of geto... anyway. GOOD author! would reread both inbetween and grapes.

The Genealogy of Morals
+THE BEST/WORST FIX-IT FIC IN THE WORLD!!!! really like the tag 'fix-it' is doing so much skulduggery and trickery and lechery and honestly just being really mean to the unsuspecting reader and setting an expectation that is then... i can't even describe it. come back to my review after you've read it... you're kind of like 'i guess. i guess it is. no like... it is what is said on the tin? like? yeah?' one of the best fics in the tag TO ME ... that kind of says every single thing that I want to be told about X Y Z character, but specifically, gojo satoru.
+"Gojo doesn't think anything at all. He's waiting for you to tell him." which is literally canon and exactly where the hidden inventory/plasma vessel arc ends. so like. i wish everyone else in the tag a very >Let's Internalise This... Let's Put A Pin In This... Let's Meditate... I don't knowww just such a good fic about >Suguru's actions were always going to be set in stone, >Gojo is an idiot baby ... I also really liked the presence of Shoko in this fic, I was just busy getting blown the fuck up by the perfect gojo and the perfect gojo dialogue... how indelicate he is and how awful he is but also so much like bad glue and so fixated on the single star in his orbit/radar.... what do you guys know about MY baby? he really is a kirihara...
+a lot of fic does a lot of heavylifting work on like geto's morals and psychology et al, and leaves gojo as perpetually unaffected, but this fic is so like OH MY GODDD... it's just two lines but gojo saying psychological evaluations are impossible to pass, and then later, he stopped doing them because they were useless... like such a clean devastating cut about how gojo's mental state/psychology/etc certainly does not matter, not to him and not to those around him eitherrr... and not even to this fic!!! JUST SO GOOD!!!
+also the sparseness of the style is sooo appreciable to me and it is such a beautiful exercise of 'less is more' in how disaffected and detached it could be as well as the few tangible sensations that op chose to describe... probably my top jjk fic. no way, is that crazy? the feeling of it is soooo...

i thought i had to swallow them before they swallowed me
another timeloop fic... I really liked the last chapter of this, which was the only chapter i read... so rip to ch1-5, but i loved the twist and the characterisation and authorial decisions i saw... like yayyyy
+this was also one of those fics that were like 'yeah gojo is also fucked the fuck up but that matters less cuz he's not doing Murder but He Is Fucked Up and barely cognisant of it' which i think is part of the struggle? or the ideal of writing gojo because how do you even broach the mental state of a guy who doesn't self-reflect and doesn't care about it and no one around him cares either... WHICH OBVIOUSLY. IS WHY I WANT DELICIOUS BEAUTIFUL NAVEL-GAZING WHUMP ABOUT IT!!! but even in this fic geto's like, I acknowledge this but I need to focus on myself moreee... so delicious and beautiful and good...
+maybe I need to read the full thing through once and maybe I will someday but I've lowkey had ENOUGHHH of geto psychology deep dive like WHAT ABOUT GOJO SATORUUUU!!! whatever... whatever... im the greediest person on earth and i keep shopping at the wrong stores fine fineeee... fine...

fool me once (shame on who?)
+okay I have to talk about this fic in conjunction with the way better version of this fic HANG ON...

HASTUR
+THIS WAS LITERALLY THE SCARY BODYSNATCHING HORROR FIC THAT I ASKED FOR!!!
+genuinely a fic I found so offputting and visceral that really did such a good job of taking seriously and portraying kenjaku as the scary grabber bodysnatcher that will be psychologically torturing both parties but in a sexy scary way... like I literally love, as evidenced by my choice of this ship, THE MONSTER YOU LOVE trope but this made it really really scary because it was actually [Monster you love.... WHO DOESNT HAVE YOUR BEST INTENTIONS IN MIND] ... idk it's true the things I find scary are >old houses, the cold, medical horror... + THE UNCANNY, and this had all of that perfectly balanced esp the ending which was soooooo... MY POOR GOJO MEOWMEOW??? really a fic that reminded me of one of my favourite tma statements of all time AKA 'MAG101: Another Twist' like sooo Sannikov Land-y....
+op's prose-writing is not really my favourite but it suits the tone/atmosphere of their works soooo well... idk what a treat! how good! how scary!

back to fool me once (shame on who?)
+I reallyyyy wanted to like this more than I did… I did like the psychological horror/unnerving domestic terror notes I loveeee >the monster you love fics I really do… uh the concept of gojo living with bodysnatched geto just to be close with geto… yayyyy but I think I would’ve enjoyed more of a focus on how twisted gojo is to go along with this rather than having him play uncritical victim… also lowkey a fic where I was kind of feeling like the sex scene should’ve been rev order but it wasn’t and so in the end... no one won….
+idk in the end it just didn't have the right tone or the right amount of horror/uncanny/dread unfortunately :( but ... pseudocitrus does have a pretty similar geto_bodysnatching fic that's quite similar to this in how it treats kenjaku's violation of ...mundaneity? it's trueee... + the iamsomebody post-canon fic also hits similar notes... so I think ultimately this is a theme/concept I really like and do want explored, bc it's also just an inversion of what geto does to the curses he collects in general no? the karmic aspects of that would probably be really fun to deliberate on...

pressure
+this one was quite good, i liked it, another timeloop fic for the road... I think this is better than their other fic Just Personally to me, but both are quite ambitious in concept and really well done because of it!!!

YOU CANNOT SAVE PEOPLE
+kind of such a great fic becauseeee of how correctly voice was assigned... like yasss perfect in character gojo satoru pov...!!!

telephone syndrome
+this is an orphaned pseudocitrus fic that is SO SO GOOD once again because the tag it's tagged with is literally perfect in concept rather than me gaf'ing about the actual fic... IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US!!! the 'shoko and suguru using each other to burn off stress while satoru is oblivious to it all' like... IM GOING TO THROW UPPPPPPPPP... IM GOING TO THROW UPPPPPPP... i literally love fucked up triangulation and i am a big fan of sugu/shoko in general and how they're, at least, the 'real' adults of the trio... it's sooooooo... AUGH. the apathy v the degradation v the teenage god of it all... hang on I'm literally about to start making a gojo<>furina venn diagram...

ruche
+this is my ruche corner and I have some things to say... I think I innately disagree with some of the character explorations they do, but they did write the best 17x28 fic in the tag with 'let's climb the cliff and jump again' like perfect characterisation, perfect amount of regret and Bruh_fuck_this_shit and patheticness and gojo ignoring all his problems in until they're non-issues to him + perfect PERFECT 17x28 gojo x gojo interaction where ofc the teenage god wastes his fucking question by being an impudent asshole jealous girlfriend... SO CUUUTEEE... and I really do think teen suguru is so perfectly described... as is their other 17x28 fic with the roles reversed, where adult geto really is sooo conniving and manipulative that bastard...
+also CLIFF fic is literally so good because gojo says I love you and thinks it and is trying so so hard to believe in it and geto does not respond or reciprocate that desire in any way and IT'S LITERALLY SO GOOD THAT IT'S SCARY!!! wow the porn is nothing to me but i would've hated it if geto had been bottoming so there's that... isn't that fuuuckeedddddd... it's because penetration is an entirely semiotic act in fic[tion] and therefore Means/Implies something about these characters in a way it doesn't have to in real life... yep yep...
+see literally their fic is only bad when they start doing all the geto whump/glaze/angst/insecurity wombo'est of combos...

anyway, the allegations really looked like a fic that started off so strong and so good and then I was reading some of their endnotes in fear of The Landmines that were going to Landmine Me and instead I felt the most >Huh? What? I have ever felt when reading the thoughts of a writer I otherwise deeply admired and felt like I was likely to agree with

click more clickhole read more [...hole?]

“I do not like to woobify Suguru but at the same time I do believe he is a sick puppy and if he was exposed too much to Gojo drama, plus rough violating sex, plus the emotional instability he usually hides, plus the innate sense of guilt and anxiety, plus degradation carried out by the love of his life who's actually angry at him bc Suguru pushed him, this does seem like smth that could happen . Like he just sub drops hard and then is also uncomfortable with being so sensitive and touchy and emotional around Gojo, because being Gojo's enemy is better than being a weakling when Gojo expects an equal from him!!!!

+So I just don’t think that would happen.

“fuck idk yeah I wanted pissed gojo and miserable Suguru but isn’t this kind of the better representation of their relationship. Suguru at his worst and Gojo still loving him, Gojo guilty about his emotional shortcomings, Suguru getting away with shit because he’s unhinged but in a strong, tragic lovable way. x("

+I just don’t think that’s true!!! Like, maybe this is my own problem and my own fault cus I really do not spend a lot of time justifying or thinking thru the genocidal mass murderer guy’s emotional and philosophical and cognitive state that causes him to do all that. Murdering. but I think it’s really strange that this the most obvious case of >you can love your unrepentant monsters< everrr [famously also gojo’s Most consistent trait. He’s like pleaseeeee I need a serial murderer to love so bad] yet it's being treated like a surprising fact?
+and I agree that geto is a guy who loves fronting and puts up so much fronts but the things that we know about geto and gojo:
(1) geto is actually very attached to and does believe really hard in his convictions. He’s probably a foil for yuki in that sense. Like I don’t really know how you watch or read jjk0 and also the kfc breakup and come away with the geto does not really believe in his mission and suffers from the cognitive dissonance of it all. Like I think he probably embraces it actually. Like I think the line, “Kill me if you want. There’s meaning in that,” is really emblematic of him choosing his path was an act of agency and an exercise of Free Will, like gojo is going to be forever behold to jujutsu society and what it means to be the strongest and also what it means to kill geto, whereas geto is making this active choice to excise himself from this system he sees as causing only suffering for the people he cares about. the cognitive dissonance comes from like, a right-wing nationalist party seeking self-determination re/the taliban… so essentially the concept of nationalism itself. But ultimately, geto finds his actions more meaningful than he finds the sense of self-hate/helplessness/depression he gets from being the ‘right’ kind of sorcerer. And that’s ultimately what he wants, that sense of meaning, not only for himself but for all sorcerers. Again, you can Um Actually me all you want, what do I know about this guy.
+I just really don’t get like. Yk, it’s like the concept of >Lots of people get depressed. That does not make them become genocidal mass murderers. Like Nanami also suffered burn out. And he was way nicer about it. It’s okay to admit that geto has a similar twisted sense of self that gojo does and that’s why he’s the only person gojo has, however briefly, felt understood by.
(2) gojo is not good at being mad. !!! Gojo is like, really bad at being mad actually. “at least curse me a little at the very end” / “sorry Megumi, I’m just enjoying this now.” / “I wish I could’ve given sukuna a good fight in return” … like he’s just not a guy who gets mad! This is part and parcel of his [lack of] morality and emotional shortcomings!!! He has a very weak sense of justice because he lacks a strong concept of human dignity!! For both himself and Society at large!! He says over and over that kids should have a youth, and he follows through with that in shallow gestures, but also ultimately, he does endanger and manipulate them!!! Yes he kills geto, yes he kills the higher ups, but these all ultimately symbolic actions that are undermined by [whatever sentimental way he handles geto’s body that allows kenjaku to hijack it/that he never ever ever Gets Over geto for real despite it all, Again, no need to read all of jjk, but vol0 does cover all of that!!! ‘oh people can change’ the whole point of gojo is that he is in a perpetual state of arrested development. Infinity is both a superpower and a diegetic metaphor about how nothing can pierce beneath the shallow surface!!! He is untouchable both emotionally and physically!!! Whatever… whatever man. I mean I guess he got mad about kenjaku body hacking but…. Like I do agree that if gojo ever gets mad at anyone, it would be at/about geto but I think it’s probably fair to point out, and what my end argument is, is that anger is not a productive emotion that leads to anything for him.

+Herein lies the problem with ‘humanising’ gojo is that he is simply a character whose actual flaws people don’t find all that interesting, I think. Or, they don’t make for straightforward angsty emotional whump or typical fanfic tropes. Like similarly to yuta, there’s a want for a secret dark side or like with maki, a secret fragile side … but that’s just nottt how it works. Like the story iterates for you over and over again that love is his curse, and that’s the thing that makes him fallible and that’s the thing he wants to return to and ends up returning to over and over, but it’s not a straightforward or easily digestible conception/expression of love!!! Again, this is all my reading and my sensibilities, and I really don’t want to be accused of anything but wanting gojo objectified and sexualized. Like I’m not arguing for gojo sensitive soft delicate victim coding. I am arguing for gojo whump though but only because he really is the perfect guy for it. But ONLY the in-character kind. Litr like >guy who has never had anything of this kind happen to him and is in the ride of his life rn.

Till Death Do Us--
+another valleykeys rec that uhhh.. is really funny that part is true. idk how i feel about their geto suguru... not very strongly or agreeably... but maybe I just lowkey hate adult geto and only want my sickly teenage son with mental problems... i don't know... i was really on-board and I found it really funny and then the lack of endgame and multiship kind of scared me and then the nanami bottom REALLY scared me mom i was so scared... but i do think it's perfect no notes gojo pov... I really do<3

in Victory, in Defeat
+sukugo... you think I would've enjoyed this but I don't like bloodplay I think... must be why I'll never find vampires sexy.... like ideally I want masochist painslut gojo all the time but this wasn't very fun to me even though i like all edging and ruined orgasm and overstimulation...AND bondage.. AND CHOKING!! so wow i must really not fuck with blood/knife play... yeah that checks out. i only like impact play and real violence...

voxofthevoid
+my yujigo dealer... who we're just going to do a full pseud review because their fics are not that different to me since I'm reading mostly and only for the porn because the choice of ship for the dynamic they write is genuinely baffling to me... but hey... we're ALL doing transformative fiction here no judgement just a normal amount of judgement...
+ultimately there are so many things about this choice of ship that make me go ‘Huh? Sure peggles I guess’ but I do have respect someone who has the same delusion of yuji as sukuna2.0 the way I have delusions [that are canonically supported and encouraged even] about maki being toji2 …
+I think they sort of write one of the best “Gojo Satoru is his own warning” tags. like, I think probably a lot of the psychologically/morally scrutinising gojo fic I would want occurs in the teacher/student groomer fic half/side of the fandom but the way I read it, it’s p much canon that gojo’s greatest fantasy is to be dominated and stripped of his status/pedestal [ch236 anyone?]… so I don’t really find it interesting when fic is sort of concerned with him stratifying that position and using it to revel in it, or whumpify a different guy. Which is like, sure probably within the realm of suspendable disbelief, I’m just not interested in it. BUT I do think gojo is someone who is very flippant with how his position/power affects his relationships [as in, he really doesn’t seem to understand or care about this other than it’s Useful, probably] … I just don’t think it’s appealing... anyway all this to say, I think op does a really good job of exploring that nonchalance and lax morality aspect of him even when I need to suspend an insane amount of disbelief to accept that he would feel this way about itadori yuji...
+I think out of all the guys I listed, this is sort of the sexiest iteration of painslut!gojo… op’s fics were quite appealing because gojo was being so ‘let me sexually piss you off so bad you start doing violent revenge sex on Me’ which was Hmm, quite an image in my mind being presented here, and I do think it’s a good concept to have gojo dangling and abusing his power so blatantly for the sake of wanting someone to strip it away from him bc that’s like, Cathartic and Gratifying and Fulfilling and checks out for him [ch 236 anyone?!] … in the end litr like fics i would like so much better and take so much more seriously if they happened with Any Other Ship... or if op literally cared and respected the canon text of gojo's actual endgame true love[s] at all...
+I also deeply appreciate that they’re the guy who writes adult!gojo as a guy who incessantly uses petnames because, Yeah, he fucking would. It’s the most basic annoying guy trait in the world. have you guys heard of Michael reeves?

amyritter
+i think I did enjoy both of op's jjk fics, like not that they left much of an impact but they captured the sort-of tired/sad/wistful/regretful atmosphere that gojo is often denied i think... i think i enjoyed Theoretical Ambitions more especially bc the title is soooo beautiful and affecting.....

saturday night live
+I DNF'd this but this fic is in sooooo many people's bookmarks but I just don't care for mixed-media [but it's all formatted into text] fics orrr no powers au though I was valiantly holding on because I really do want friends to lovers to exes to enemies to lovers fic so baddddd but then op was like 'geto was actually still in love with satoru and only did this bc he had mental health and money problems' LIKE THE FALLING OUT OF LOVE IS THE APPEAL. THE FUCK? why would gojo have a terrible personality and be hard to be around if he's NOT HARD TO LOVE??? hello??????????? that's literally the point that's literally the pointttt....
+like you may love and like gojo satoru and acknowledge his flaws but i love gojo satoru BECAUSE OF HIS FLAWS!!! like lowkey this is truly my uh, other?white whale? where i need gojo to be the worst version of himself possible... like i actually so badly am giving him the relationshipcrimes treatment where i need him to be terrible and bad and wretched and then like suffer erotically and emotionally about it... MY FEELINGS ARE SO PURE AND HEARTFELT IT'S UNREAL!!!!

On The Edge And Scared Of Heights
+okay no one is going to believe me when I say this but this is legitimately a really good fic. like unserious pwp about a/a rutsex? and yet.
+the more I read this the better this gets… which is scary because I really did frown the first time, but seriously every single time I’m like ‘wait op like actually really got it and her understanding of these guys really resembles my own’ AT LEAST IN THIS FIC!! bc her other fics are kinda… not doing all of the wonderful >gojo is an selfish impulsive idiot demon baby .. like litr this line: “Truthfully, Satoru hasn’t thought much about the execution. He hasn’t thought much at all. His ideas are usually good, so he doesn’t bother dissecting them before he acts.” Does OP know? Does She Know? She must… I also reallyyy liked the geto characterisation because perfect amount of guy who’s a pushover and a people pleaser with the slight edge of steel underneath veryyyy nice I think…

law of effect
+this I think is literally the other best fic in the tag. if not THEEE other GOAT of the tag. i think it seriously just so sosososoososoooo perfectly captures just how unaware of himself gojo is... pseudocitrus is literally my goat of the tag and my holygrail jjk writer, which, lol, YEAH.
+it is literally SO GOOD!!!! The skinner box experiment being used to allude to what’s happening in this fic plus pseudocitrus my GOAT op who came up with ‘emotionally unintelligent and socially inept gojo satoru’ tag, which, all I can say: ACCURATE. and I think this fic is so good at being bittersweet and showing how they’re growing apart despite the want never-ending, and it’s just sooo tight and so good and so so good at showing how shortsighted and unaware of himself gojo is. Perfect fic No Notes.

uhhh... let me do juuchan<>sardinejar comparison corner and then do quickflash notes on irreverance and then i'll c+p my unfinished porn reviews....

sardinejar / juuchan
+sardine jar is like the hentai mindless porn dealer super unapologetic pervert, literally fine and respectable as a vocation, I like their hypno fic. but I have to say theyre basically juuchan but without caring about plot, like the dynamic of >[horny insatiable slut] and >[in control providing dom] is litr the same And I really do think that’s sort of more real to alternative sex dynamics, but also not exactly it… but also idgaf about geto outside of being a device to torture gojo with so i really cant say… ...look idk if that's true bc i really do respect geto as his own character and really like him without really gaf'ing about his rs with gojo, but iiiii probably love gojo to the extent i do because he is so emotionally bludgeoned by geto... like.... i do need that man with the wrench of geto suguru lodged into his heart/soul/psyche [and toji. LOL]
+look, Juuchan would have me crucified for this but genuinely she and sardinejar write the same getogojo they do….and this is like mostly because of the problems i have wrt to their geto, who is literally like Not That Guy [aka my beloved mentally ill son from canon] and not at all tortured enough like hello like that’s Theee Psychologically Tormented Guy please put some respect and interiority onto his name pleaseee hes not meant to be an alpha domtop, he’s meant to be repulsed and pathetic and stuck in his own head [and I do mean repulsed I dont mean repulsive i mean repulsed]
+but they have a really charming geto/gojo overall which I enjoy … i do like that geto is the one in rational control v gojo is driven by id/libido/passion and that’s a weird stalemate bc I think people sort of latch onto geto’s insecurities as a src of his complicated fucked up incel mental state, but I also enjoy the unevenness of guy you would pick over everyone v guy who never chose youuu which is sometimes what juuchan really is able to get at, but she cares more about sexual satiation than like, trying to kill me emotionally with knives...
+LOOK, and I am saying all this as a real juuchan fan, I love her fics, I am really supportive of and attached to their understanding of gojo as a guy who is all id and nothing elseeee, but there are a couple of notes/points of comparison to pseudocitrus [aka my gojo dealer] who really understands that gojo isn’t even aware of his own selfishness/himself [whereas juuchan does just attribute/represent that as id/innate hedonism] but also, pseudocitrus, esp re 17gj also really understands that he’s also ultimately just an immature kid, whereas juuchan is trying to convince you of him convincing himself that he’s a god ... which no doubt we could argue about to no end, but it [which point in the timeline] does become a really important aspect here...

+mostly I am so charmed and endeared by her word choice and some of the specific terms/metaphors she chooses… and the aphotic zone was really good for all the psychological aspects, and she is sooo careful wrt to narration and viewpoint and et al, but-and like, I love grooming but op is like ‘well geto/gojo is true love and not grooming but others/gojo Was grooming’ like hello? HELLO? .... which is again because she is so tuned into what Gojo would think but also this was a getogojo fic so... you're meant to believe that anyway...
+my favourite fic is lost and found and otherwise I really like the abo one… like juuchan is so fucking real for being ‘gojo would never want kids and cannot even entertain the idea of babytrapping geto’ like he would abort that thing. He literally would.
+anyway, sometimesss her stuff is a little too technical/real bdsm for me sometimes but I appreciate it nonetheless... I think ultimately also i wish they were better at writing porn in that the porn is technically fine its just not that sexy Which is crazy bc its so detailed and so kinky and she has clearly had sex before but I’m also like danggggggg How can masochism be made So Boring? but I think it’s because I lowkey don’t care for bdsm tools like flog/whip/etc and I feel like if your canon has built in casual violence Well Why not utilise that… why do we have to … anyway she also loves the concept of someone with a pussy loving/prefering anal and I did think that was also kind of sexy and vaguely illuminating like I enjoy wrong hole

notorphanedaccount
+I actually think op is reallyyyy good, and I hate no powers au but they do a good job, I liked wrong number fic, I liked the camboy one and I unfortunately read the micropenis one and was shocked and gagged by how it was so perfectly in character like ohhhh my god.... I have to read micropenis fic to enjoy great gojo characterisation? the gojo who I firmly believe should have a big dick, that's size proportionate? i'm so sadddd... anyway I am subscribed to op and Checking In...

uninspired porn fic findings category

39k no powers roomates au, e
+DNF’d because it made gojo into a cuteified bl uke and geto was just Some Guy… like I don’t like stsg porn bc of the aesthetics I would like some of my Guys in there for real instead of just face-claims [as opposed to phd where I can uncritically consume r18 fic because I do like the aesthetics of it]

4.6k canon divergence, e
+this was not… characterised in a way I necessarily agree with, and I think there is one line that lampshades it like ‘gojo would never philosophize but now he Is’ and in theory it was a little sexy, but I felt lowkey nothing reading it because I actually have become so sensitive about geto suguru characterisation like I need your notes and proof and abstract as to why we’re here and he’s Like That… which again, I don’t think it was out of the realm of possibility, this was written in jjk0 era so he was psychologically at his worst probably but… still… hmm… I don’t know. I do love that op made a point of gojo embarking on vows of chastity and celibacy post geto like yayyyyy…

6.5k canonverse, t
+I DNF’d this because I began to suspect halfway through that op liked sato/sugu ship order and it just wasn’t good enough to keep reading but I actually really liked the gojo characterisation, presumably because op wrote him like the annoying canon shoujo love interest, but the geto was soooo ;side-eye; also no one in the world wants to write shoko with the laissez faire and whimsical attitude she has in canon?

Mahbeck yakuza fic
+I DNF’d this because mahbeck does not write things that are compelling to me and I wanted to give it a try because there are so many fanarts I like that this fic was working off the visuals for but uhhh, writing and characterisation both being weak made the overall reading experience sooooo mediocre that I decided it was not worth my time…

Magswrite college au fic
+DNF’d Uh this always looks kind of funny in the tag but it’s not good on the inside and I really just don’t get the point of writing gojo as a … wimpy cutieface bl uke like that’s not the appeallll that’s not the appeallll

Magswrite camboy au fic
+This one is kind of popular recently on gego twitter and … look there’s a way better gojo camboy fic… just trust me on that one we’ll get there… well we won’t be the notanorphanaccount gojo camboy fic is litr so much better ESPECIALLYYYY because when geto finds out that gojo’s a camboy, gojo’s like… having the most Not-A-Real-Person reaction to it that was legitimately so perfect I was like oh! Okay! … anyway this guy has the same problem as with mahbeck where both writing and characterisation is weak that the overall effect is just mediocre…

7.7 no powers au, e
+DNF’d … uh literally just facecast fic with bare bones characterisation

24k no powers au, e
+This was good as generic fic… good is kind-of an interesting term to use here but it promised me lowkey toxic codependent possessive homoerotic friendship and it delievered all of those notes. And I was like ‘those are pretty good notes. I enjoyed that’ and therefore it’s pretty good fic. good sgst fic? it’s fine. Like yeah sure.

persimmonsandcats onlyfans fic
+This was really not that different from any other of op’s fics, but it’s good because it’s good sex and it does not really try to be anything other than good fwb fic… I think this was like mildlyyyy funnier but a little less hot to me just because her other fic was just sexier in general to me…

persimmonsandcats bartender fic
+this was a different version of ^ fic, so the conceit was basically the same and hit all the same notes… op loves super fluffy loving sex and Banter and guys saying they love you and specifically geto calling gojo ‘baby’ which… by my doctrine, I want everyone to know that I think GOJO would be the one using the annoying petnames all the time like that’s just my heart and headcanon…

permissionnadncats pussy fic
+this one is the best of the fwb plots because it has / kink … like YAYYYYYYY I love a guy who’s inexperienced and a virgin and wants to do everything sooo bad :D :D :D

18k canonverse fic, e
+this is like a miscommunication/jealousy fic and it’s Fine… I didn’t hate or love it… it’s 18k but it really did not feel like that… I remember basically enjoying it while I reading it because there was nothing too objectionable happening on page but… idk I just don’t remember anything in the end…

8.2k abo fic
+I don’t think I believe in sgst abo unless it’s just for the sex pollen part… like yeah it checks out when you want them to fuck or die but don’t expect me to take omega gojo as a premise seriously.

3k canonverse fic
+I really don’t remember this outside of it’s named after the Mitski that I’ve been playing onrepeat writing my own sgst fic... and also I enjoy the liberty taken by op in making gojo enjoy the menial domestic task of laundry like yayyyy let’s all give him 1 normal passing trait

5.6k abo fic
+another fic that wants me to take the omega gojo satoru tag seriously… and worse even because it wants me to take the Parental Gojo Satoru tag seriously… oh my god please, please take this seriously.

10k no powers au, e
+I was in the degradation tag and this wasn’t anything… sort of scratched my dv itch but not enough…

36.8k, geto/gojo no powers fwb au
+trans!gojo … this was really good porn… I love tdick and I’m kinda sad there was no tdick action at all but I’ll live…
+I don’t like no powers au so I really wasn’t expecting to like or love the characterisation because I think you have to do uncomfortable and outrageous things to make gojo’s character work outside of the jjkverse and op didn’t do those, and gego ship order ‘fluff’ au sort-of requisites that geto has none of the great complexity that makes him so fucked up and moving in canon … though it is retained that he’s a incomparable people pleaser super wifeguy type because he is… why not… I wish they did anal but in the end it was a good read

OKAYYYY... well in the end we've learnt that I've been spending wayyy too much time on ao3, i have gojobraindisease and I am wasting away my already waning youth on fictional characters. wow that's quite pessimistic... hmm... well... idk. well my life really has not been fulfilling lately so...

comments

jjk reading

2025-10-16T03:15:29Z

UH, so like in 2021 I read jjk all the way up to the end of the shibuya arc. twice over even I think? and then I sort of gave up once the culling game arc started because uh dawgggg the state of our women in this manga, on top of everyone thirsting over naoya like i genuinely couldn’t. older, and once again at an extreme mental low, I decided to finally finish jjk, also known as the potential man’s potential battle shounen. you will understand what I mean soon. I started from the culling game arc, because I didn’t need to go through hidden inventory or shibuya incident all over again. I did my time. I genuinely still that that stretch of chapters is basically perfect shounen and everything you would want from the genre, excellent, exemplemary, there’s a bl subplot, it’s basically just as perfect and just as good as the hxh chimera ant arc and the final battle. which again, one of the hardest greatest, if not The Greatest, final battle ever.

some of my livetweets from discord. which btw I don’t do this often so EVERYONE JOIN TW3 DISCORD TO ACTUALLY KEEP UP WITH MY OTHER REVIEWS/LIVETWEETS/THOUGHTS. i guess I just feel like it’s worth it to record my jjk journey because we’re doing this all over again don’t worry. okay but also this went from me just perusing the ao3 tag to actually reading the whole second half, and my overall review is going to be in the author section... and if I have any other words I will write them after this:

>horny gojo art literally about to make me finish reading jujutsu kaisen

[THE AUTHOR IS NOT DEAD. TO ME.]

>gege akutami’s passion is to do clip away mokumentary style parody manga… that incorporates a lot of ‘movie’ techniques 
>so like the ideal form of jjk is as anime/manga but also the ideal form of jjk is like Not the shounen genre But also the third secret thing that is his passion is to do Meta style breakdowns of who beats what in really complicated rock paper scissors games
>like he is not actually interested in the battle or the emotional stakes or the hype moments and aura he’s like >Here’s who’s more powerful and Why and what their secret movie is
>and its like dawg you should be a chess commentator atp 
>but it is why I really liked the show off between kenjaku and yuki bc he was like ‘actually these are two guys who shouldnt even be fighting each other and therefore Dont want to’ but the nature of shounen battle manga and Plot forced there to be a winner/loser
>crazy af tho that choso is somehow still alive while yuki is dead. hwateverrr

>>[noura]like in theory i want to like the shibuya arc, the idea of it all taking place on a single night where the characters are facing unknown threats and are very limited in how much they can communicate is a good premise and on paper that's what happens but i still get the feeling that it's too soon in the story for this to have happened
>okay wait I have to defend shibuya arc because it happening ‘way too soon’ really is what made it so good and high stakes before the next arc started and we realised akutami was nottt taking this shit serious I genuinely think the shibuya incident is the High point of jjk like i think the jarring escalation really throws you off and then really captures rhe chaos and craziness that is about to unfold 

>>re: jjk, a lot of people's complaints are something like "maki didn't get anything to do once she killed naoya" to which the responses are essentially "yeah because that was the culimnation of her arc" which is like...... sure i guess, but that doesn't feel satisfying
>but also I don’t even feel like this is TRUEEE bc she litr gets brought back for the sukuna fight and becomes the next object in line that sukuna chases and glazes but then it doesnt matter bc the sukuna fight post gojo litr just became about conveyor belt sushi…

>though I will say I like that yuuji’s arc/culmination of power/etc ended with him just mastering the abilities of his mentors re/todo, nanami, choso like that was satisfying if not Cool and I really do think the domain expansion where he was just showing sukuna around sendai was such a powerful emotional chapter and break and it really captured a thing that Akutami Could Do where clearly he does care about mundanity and morality and the human/meaning question but also like really cares about the Actual Physical environment which is whyy the sendai chapter is so good but He also doesnt care enough to write ittt 

>Idk I feel like jjk did start off with the promise of doing something interesting with the shounen genre and how it racked up ‘pointless’ deaths vs training arcs like the disjoint in arcs and the whiplash tone promised something way more interesting than what ended up happening
 >also in the same way he had a lot to say about how we value certain facets of our institutional systems re/schools/education/power/law/manga he also clearly had something to say about japanese national politics/infrastructure alongside international global powers but again none of that was streamlined into Plot or Theme it was just There

>I think probably what’s interesting and somewhat redeeming about jjk is that you can at least tell that these inclusions are here For A Reason and not just random bullshit to keep the story serialised otherwise their incorporation and randomness make No sense but also
>>yeah i think ultimately i ended up feeling like gege had a lot of good ideas and concepts and potential but just couldn't stick the execution >>however much that's due to wsj schedule fuckery or his own shortcomings as a writer
>>and i guess my other feeling is that he's either shit at character writing or just doesn't care enough about character writing vis a vis shounen powerscaling plot bc the only good character he wrote was gojo
>I think he had good concepts/shells/frames for characters to work around but no execution for most of them
>>yeah.. i think this is basically what i meant when i said shibuya was too soon, bc i like the IDEA of ramping up the stakes but bc i didn't feel invested enough in the characters it didn't have the intended effect. to me
>yeahhh thats understandable / I think hidden inventory did a lot of the emotional heavy lifting for me so there was that / But then again that only makes u care about gojo LOL

>though wow radman wa sliterally making jjk look sooo thought out and eloquent and full of themes and ideas 
>Like I didnt know that was happening 
>>i’m sayinggggg 
>>hes geges strongest soldier fr
>>[ciel] not gege being the potential man all along….
>i feel like the other thing I really have to give jjk its flowers for is that it is actually urban fantasy for real for real like no matter how much it does glaze heian era and some jp traditionalisms it also like cares so much about period-accurate magical adaptations and technique and make so much use out of Urban Infrastructure as a real setting
>gege akutami >I love concrete I love railways I love cell phones I love animation I love pachinko

>the other thing that I forgot to mention is that I actually really appreciate the plasticity of characters like they get different looks/clothes to represent different ‘eras’ / chara development I ENJOY ITTT

>[re: radman gojo v sukuna vid] actuallt was really touched and moved by him mentioning the modernist/postmodernist themes of jjk as symbolised via gojo v sukuna bc its basically what my follow up thought for this was bc its so true that there is such a prescient fascination with modernity that runs thru jjk and is one of the more interesting things about it on a narrative level bc its basically what cares so much about its references and how it tries to embody elements that are better suited for other mediums into its own narrative
>its just litr also true that gege akutami was sort of not talented enough(?)/afforded enough time/edittinf/etc to make the mixed media manga/cross genre manga of his dreams but its also sooo obviously that these are the things he’s fixated on both in shallow and deep ways >Also his reading of the idea of the narrator was really cool and interesting i also found it sort of disjointive that what the characters themselves would say was very different from what the narrator would declare but we’re supposed to see the narrator as the Omniscient Objective voice but jjk’s entire battle thesis comes down to Perception and how sensory input is the Ultimate Deciding factor of all

>Like again I cannot say jjk is good but I can say that it grapples with so many interesting things

[...]

>my jjk top4 are probably gojo maki yuta toji and yes I want all of them as 0s
>final ranking: gojo > yuta > maki >>> toji/nobara >>>> megumi/itadori/yuki/etc ... maki stone butch top it's TRUEEE

>between toji and maki icb megumi is the most popular of the clan…
>this is made extra crazy by the fact they all litr have the same fucking face and hair and yet makitoji are beautiful busty baras and me:gumi >wow i literally hate to see a twink .
>megumi is actually really cute and slayful but he’s Normal

>all i can say… akutami lowkey bad at drawinf… like obviously hes better than me but aomw of this is just silly

>>[poppy]i think makiyuuta is really good also i think yuuta has the best chemistry with them
>>but to be honest i would even entertain gojo and yuuta before i entertained inumaki and yuuta like i have no idea what is going on thereee well i can see it kind of but at the same time [weibocrylaugh] circling back to the onigiri ingredients or whatever thing inumaki has going on
>gojo<>yuuta i think lowkey has the most sauce out of all the gojo student ships
>tho it might be about equal with gojo/yuiji because he actually genuinely does end up treating yuiji like an equal while yuta is stuck in mentee-zone forever which is good or bad depending on how u think of it
>And RIP to megumi the potential man once again like you had nepotism (real, literal, on many levels even) on your side but you still couldn’t make it there?

[gojo brain quarantine]

>The way jjk art gave me hives for the last two years but now I’m looking at proper order art of my fave ship and ifs like YESSSSSSSSS YYAAASSSSSSS so good so organic 
>soemthing so funny about gojo jjk being the only pretty boy Ive liked uncomplicatedly
>>and he was light hair uke even…. 
>No literally like i picked my one exception 

>[re: white hair ukes] ITS NOT ABOUT LOOKING LIKE GOJO!!!! Gojo’s appeal isnt even the way he looks…
>like obviously i think he looks nice bc hes handsome pretty which is my ideal visual type but it is the 30 yr old virgin and widow cosplay that really make the appeal… and that he’s most annoying guy on earth

>looking thru this artist’s media tab and horny gripping and killing myswlf https://twitter.com/pasinee1855/media
 >Like I didn’t know how much my passion was a broad guy in shirt and slacks with handsome face bur actually I did know tjat <guy who's favourite bl rn is sugar trap

>turns out my getogojo guy used to be a gojotoji guy like my god i wouldve turned into the joker lowkey
 >Like u went here for toji hole and gojoLEFT and one change of heart later and all you see is gojo hole
 >Though ill be honest if I was the average jjk fan and I loved toji I would just invest my stocks into maki  
>an dguess what. that is exactly what I did.

>anyway my 1 nitpick with jjk gojo fic is that that man is 190cm and no one is giving adequate attention` to how Much Limb that is
>like look i also care about him getting rawed. but there are serious logistical issues at play here  >Okay I don’t understand the point of jjk fic where its No Powers AU 
>Like the whole appeal of gojo is that he’s The Strongest and also in love with genocidal murderer best friend
>>is geto just a normal serial killer in those

>Also everyone keeps making him a twink ev like cmon man Thats never been true
>in the end I think adult gojo is way sxcier than teen gojo to me the concept of being the strongest guy in da world except you’re pushing 30 and hung up over ur middle school gf anddd haven’t fucked anyone in 10 years and basically took a vow of chaste widowhood and you’re DTF that genocidal murderer cult leader…

>just saw an ‘incel gojo’ tag okay well why don’t you go watch radman’s video and come back again
>so believe it or not there are two actual incels in the series without you even having to stretch so far about it

>Just searched up >gojo eye trauma and >gojo eye gouging and got less than 20 results both times. like. litr the character who this applies to The Most? 
>they will be like He got the six eyes and They are a physical attribute and then no one is doing anything to make that physical attribute fuck him over  
>my guy canonically already wears a blindfold everywhere if not sunglasses …! 
>Which also okay if youre going to modern au no powers no curses them and u can give geto arfid u can give gojo an eye condition… or u are contractually obligated to

>[re: gojo reappearance] yo i actually feel like I saw my wife come back from the war …

>um gojo is still one of the greatest characters ever invented I have to say that
>though once again I really am so confused some of the discourse I’ve seen bc its true someone can be a good mentor and a bad teacher even

>this shit is crazy baitful no way sukuna is like Let me learn about love from Gojo vs Gojo is litr only thinking about his dead boyfriend well thats none of my business
>everyone allowed to have preferences but I think the canon wants u to know he [gojo] bottoms [[about gojo straddling sukuna mid battle pages]]

>sometimes your shounen with real bl in it is not as fic-tivating as your shounen with no yaoi in it >its litr the >You have real bl, we don’t have to write bl for you
>like I like sgst i really do its truly a ship that makes me feel [indescribable emotion] but it’s also like Dawg what more can I say … Canon has it covered That was a full Bl That was really our bl subplot in the battle shounen

>i feel like I should technically like tojigo but i dont think i do… [asexual flag emoji] [kaneki penguin] [cruxification emoji]

>I don’t think gojo had daddy issues. I think gojo specifically has toji issues, and toji probably thinks more about fatherhood than he does
>>well gojo is literally the father that stepped up even
>>kinda

>i think gojo hair ranking is short bangs > pushed back > long bangs > spikey stack

>gojo/utahime is truly one of the ships of all time like first of all there, Shoko is there and finds him just as annoying .

>[re: dubcon fic] This is from like 2022 but i felt like gojo’s story/esp getogojo is so much about how being the strongest does not offer him any aort of control at all ESPECIALLY when it comes to geto so this just felt sort of antithetical to what I think their rs represents/is like

>[re: juuchan] they have a really charming geto/gojo overall which I enjoy … i like the geto is the one in rational control v gojo is driven by id/libido/passion and that’s a weird stalemate bc I think people sort of latch onto geto’s insecurities as a src of his complicated fucked up incel mental state but I also enjoy the unevenness of guy you would pick over everyone v guy who never chose youuu
>but juuchan's dynamic of >horny insatiable slut and >in control providing dom is litr […] hmmm
> I really do think that’s sort of more real but also not exactly it… but also idgaf about geto outside of being a device to torture gojo with so i really cant say… 

>until like 1 week ago I didn’t know what the pain slut tag meant but by perusing ao3 and also reading horny meta I do have to agree >like that makes sense to me. i do think it’s true probably. 
>like getting knifed down by toji was the single most bodily defining moment in gojo’s life trueeee

>like there genuinely are truly so many horny things that could be said about gojo and most of them of them are true.

>anyway gojo0 no switch no reverse even if he is a pretty boy top and is capable of topping i just don’t think he wants to  

>i actually also did not know so many people wanted gojo tiny pussy and i am not unopposed I just think big dick gojo that gets no action is so cute

>I rhink gojo really is such a great horny character porn vehicle Like he is TO ME sooo #MadonnaWhore realised and idealised where the wombo combo of shamelessness + desperation is fully believable
>Like sometimes u have to work hard on both the repression front and the #enjoyingthehumiliation front to make ur typically chaste whores feel sexy and complete but gojo really be doing having the built in repression and degradation kink that can be accessed easily no problem… so in the end… Thank You Toji?
>like I like really repressed characters obviously thats my favourite kind but sometimes readinf sex about them is sooo nails on chalkboard bc no one is doing any of the narrative work to make it seem theyre secretly enjoying this and I don’t particularly like rape/noncon bc it can be so scary for that reason…
>but its true that gojo is actually only physically repressed and not like psychologically repressed which is adding to sexiness probably like idk I guess I get the appeal of top gojo and its not like I cant see it but its unsatisfying for meeee bc of the lack of role reversal Which is crazy bc I usually hate role reversal but here role reversal is good bc its true that gojo actually doesn’t want to be the strongest
>Idk in the end I really just want to give every character what they want so

[what if i was a guy haunted by my first love and you were a guy haunted by your first love and together we were in cuckhold4cuckhold beholden to curses ship of all time]

>in fhe end makiyuuta kind of myyyy perfect ship in many ways i love stoic girl who is a boy x gloomy boy who’s a girl
>and i don’t even think it cancels out the maki twincest or anythint >like both are true
>I think the fact that both of them are haunted by their first loves is also the most beautiful thing in the world again

>Or i just feel nothing horny about megumi on the ofher hand i need makiyuuta 74243 situation rn

>being cursed by an evil possessive girl who is only selfless moment is her very last act where she bequeaths her entire existence to you >>> gg

 >yuuta is so cute
 >not only did I already like yuutamaki but I also already like makimai and yutarika andddd litr from 2020 one of my dw draft has >mai becomes maki’s cursed swore >So i always knew
>well actually one of my og ships was also maki/megumi but that’s just normal bc i love twincest

>[maki being called a monster panel] ohhhh you’re everything to me ya toxic bad boy love interest maki…

>okay every jjk fan who is like ‘yuutamaki came out of nowhere’ literally were reading with their eyes shut lowkey bc ever since they both came back nearly every single appearance has them either talking to each other or in each other’s proximity 
>which sure, does not a romance make. But also you’re reading (1) a shounen manga (2) one as poorly written as jjk
  >but also something so beautiful wnd delicious about a guy who cannot sense any cursed energy at all vs a guy who is reeking so much of curse energy and being Haunted and Doom that everyone gets the heebie jeebies near him… [olivia wilde head shaking nod gif]

>and the most lines she gets during one of their planning stages is saying ‘yuta don’t kill yourself’ except she is saying everything but those words… which… yeah
>i love guy who can only say the wrong extremely mean thing vs guy who is built like soft firm tofu and just taking it completely at face value and with so much love and passivity in their heart 

>yuta beinf definitionally the Monsterfucker and never ever letting up on being the Monsterfucker and he lowkey carried more than gojo did anddd he’s SOOOO POLITE AND CUTE!!! chewing biting gnawing eating his head off 
>Allegedly there are 3 kisses in jjk, two of them are yuuta with cursed spirits and the last one is makimaiiii… WHO ELSE CHEEREDDD

>no way that maki strongest weapon user of all time and yuta the guy who always making up for his physical inability with his endless cursed energy arent each other’s default sparring partners  

>yuta is such a cute girl
>kind of no words for how much I’d blow up the world over uhhhh
>groomed by cursed spirit of his 10 yr old ex girlfriend
>literally only knows how to live self-sacrificially and is kind of quite literally the eldest daughter who is making all the same mistakes/sacrifices as her mom while her mom doesn’t see her at all
>IS SOOOO POLITE… litr the cutest most unbelievable gapmoe trait of all time is guy who is so scary and so gloomy being so so sooooo polite… also a beautiful pushover puppy people pleaser type…
>he was made to be railed into a mattress i can tell you that. everyone on ao3 is like convinced of yuta’s ‘secret dark side’ he doesn’t have that. like we probably could’ve had like 3-8 different yuta secret dark/intense side reveals but instead we keep getting shown a dude who is extremely cool-headed all the time and is highly competent and otherwise is weirdly lax about kissing monsters. 

>um litr they made yuta to make me want to kill myself with the moebomb vat… [indescrible emojis] and they gave him built in sexy bara stoic cold guy top [more indescribable emojis]
>but everyone on ao3 is convinced maki is a y/n nothing girl to carry their fantasies forward and not an extremely sexy cold heartless The Killer Masc
>but she is litr the killer its true we saw that happen ij real time
>Who is in love with her sister btw. who lost the ability to have a heart when her sister died. like this is also like cuckhold4cuckhold ship WHICH IS ALSO SO EBAUTIFUL TO MEEEEE

>also i don’t want to do this but I need to argue for maki whump rights and if anyone should be terrorised with naoya well… she was litr right there
>‘Maki whump rights’ dawg her entire life was also toji 2.0
>The mascificatiom also btw was really crazy bc she did go from long hair preppy jock girl to TojiClone
>litr so fucked up that sometimes being a woman will make it so people will ignore that you are the reincarnation of this sexist guy’s biggest complex like i don’t want to get into it but truly maki was born on this earth to ruin naoya’s life

>wow… theres something actually so so romantic about truly being the daughter of your mother 
>if maki is toji reincarnated without any shame or reflection just pure Reccurence then yuta is seriously seeing all of gojo’s struggles and flaws and comparing himself against their shape while being totally overlooked by gojo himself [:weibocrylaugh:] whoever said eldest daughter yuta okkotsu really did get it

>[about yuta] everyone point and laugh at me for giving into the evil id when they put a perfect victim in front of me
>>i was like is makiyuuta really not popular and i looked it up and why does makiyuuta have <1k works when INUMAKIYUUTA HAS 2.6K?
>uhh wombo combo of
>everyone wants yuta to top that twink
>yuta is a nothing y/n self-insert with no character. just like toge.l actually. but its crazy bc yuta and maki both actually have characters and backstory so like what’s happening here
>Gay ship winning over het 
>which is so crazy bc yuuta’s main ship should litr be rika/yuuta like that is litr the only canon cp we have genuinely
>and its a het thats even better because of curse form even….

>though one of gege akutami’s funniest moves was giving a 10 year the most twisted psychological profile on earth
>like if rika had lived and was a sorcerer she couldve 1v1’d kenjaku

>>yuuta kiss with monster rika in jjk0... [olivia wilde nodding gif]
>no I’m sayinng like
>wears her ring all the time and even before he wore it on his finger he wore it as a necklace
>an extremely adoring yandere cursed spirit who he treats with the same amount of love and affection back … genuinely kind of insane that he sees her kill 289292 people and sees her be gross looking and still is like ‘i would never hate you’ and kisses her
> no reason at all to be so nice and gentle and delicate with curse he has total control over but that terror is litr getting the princess treatment always + domain is litr called ‘pure love’ alright man we get it
>>LITERALLY THE MOST ROMANTIC STORY IN THE WORLD TO MEEEE
>>its genuinely so romantic and fairytaleesque to me idk [rainbow jokebear] although i know there are like 90000000 guys any given time going his love for rika isnt ROMANTIC [eyeroll emoji] it is romantic to meeeeee
>its litr romantic
 >Like what do u mean its not romantic 
>like he’s not in love with a 10 yr old girl but he does genuinely love whatever form her soul takes cmon now guys
>yutarika stocks have always been a given. To Me. but I also locked into makiyuta stocks bc Im a fucking real one That’s my students 2pick who tf do u think i am

>going thru yutamaki tag like
>she wouldnt fucking say that
>she wouldnt fuckinf do that
>cmon man cmon guys
>I feel like people write het with ‘strong badass female characters’ sort of to ‘allow’ them to engage in their vulnerability beyond the tough shell but it comes off sexist rather than depthful
>like maki straight up doesn’t give a shit about her burn scars and yeah that could change but I don’t need a fic about her being insecure over them when she’s never had any sort of problem or complex about her looks

>[yuta pic attached] genuinely my gongeous gongeous girl… has all design quirks I enjoy
>big eyes + dark circles
>prey animal af
>really cutieful hair style
>big top [[read however you want]]
>And he’s never going to look this cute and harmless in canon ever again because after gege’s like >He’s going to creepy doll max. he’s going to corpsemaxx. he’s going to become the weird horror movie kid thats Looming in the corner ...
>but it's okay because his haunted doll arc is also cutieful and slay to meeeeee...

>I do think yuta and maki pt2 have the most slayful uniform modifications

>look I don’t care that they get married and have babies I just care about MAIKYUTA ENDGAMEEEE… ig acrually I wish they didnt have babies and yuta wasn’t a clan head but whatever

uh okay final quick speed wrap-up thoughts. in the end jjk is litr the mid-to-good media series that takes up so much brain space by imagining how it could be good. though seriously everyone go watch a radman jjk video rn like he's doing so much work to make jjk make sense and seem thematically satisfying and well thought out, though i may argue it's more on the strength and generosity of his readings than the actual text :weibocrylaugh:

EDIT: okay wait my actual closing final notes

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OOMFCHELLAAAA

2025-10-06T01:23:42Z

i had oomfchella with my parents, i had oomfchella with nouralottie and i had oomfchella with teeks! and inshallah i will have oomfchella againnnnnn

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fwcu @ 2025-09-01T21:38:00

2025-09-02T02:02:36Z

okay as sort-of a mini-post here are the things I like about phaidei, who are the second ever Big_HYV_yaoi to get me:

both extremely beautiful to me.
themed so much around: diasporic nostalgia vs exile vs myth of return vs migration [...] like i genuinely think the most criminally underrated part of their ideological mishmashes is that phainon simply does not understand why mydei would ever give up on his homeland and make his people assimilate, when he so badly wishes to return/restore aedes elysiae and go back there... like guy who cannot move on vs guy who will always leave things behind him [...]
THAT PHAINON LITERALLY IS DESTINED FOR GREATER THINGS. MYDEI IS THE FOOTNOTE AND PHAINON IS THE PERFECT VESSEL/THE DELIVERER/THE NAMELESS NAMED HERO... one thing about me is that i love outsized narrative importance imbalance. which is not to say that mydei is not important to the story but he is essentially the solider and phainon is the promised chosen one. until he's not. and now i just really hope amphoreus does not fumble but the bag is looking sooooo sweet right now.
hunk4hunk greek tragedy yaoi where they are DOOMED. phaidei is lowkey only good because of the DOOM. the fact that this is only transient that they're running on limited time that there is no forever and barely a promise of tomorrow the fact that it ENDS. well... it's good to me. that's the flavour. they're literally a normal couple who gets along well except for the fact that it cannot and will never last. rip.
i like that mydei is a cool stoic guy who is honest and reserved. and phainon is the exact opposite of that where he has 10000 million different facades and flashy smiles and cool gestures and is a funhouse mirror of himself and what he thinks he should be and wants to be and actually is to try and stop and distract from reaching the core where there is a shattered sense of self ... it's good.
they'll act like it's not true. but i do enjoy prince who grew up with only responsibility and none of the luxury and only for the latter half of his life vs nobody orphan from nowhere who is taken in by a rich benefactor and then raised and shaped for Such A High Status. everyone's like oh it's rich prince noble man x poor peasant boy. but it's not. it's literally not. the game goes out of it's way to spell out how it's not. down to mydei having most fucked up childhood imaginable [and probably still a decent amount of fucked up given, Sparta] while phainon lived idyllically in his village as a farmer's child until he didn't. like. sorry nothing in this world i hate more than the spoiled brat mydei fanon take... HE WOULD FUCKING NEVER.
i also hate when people end up being pro-military/police by having mydei/eurypon be military or ex-military or whatever in canon aus, like we can do better. like we can definitely be more creative and woke about this. actually there are so many things that phaidei ao3 does that make mydei into a kaveh-esque figure and this is why i hate haikaveh ship order. like... be normal. read. and i will admit that some of these people are literally kavethammers so i can't blame haikavehers for this one totally. BUT THEY ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. as is anyone who is a regular victim of HYV_big_yaoi. not me tho i have taste.
also if anything mydei is the alhaitham to phainon's kaveh. stoic serious guy who is never going to say the right thing vs. guy with 3492083483 psychological problems that will not hear the words you said in the way you said them. anyway so as u can tell im a fan of the fragile psychologically troubled high specs visual seme x normal stoic handsome guy uke...
mydei's fertility symbolism. like yeah i'll get that guy pregnant. and yes my worldbearer with 4 arms will be the one doing it. i guess i kind of like that phainon is both odysseus and telemachus while aglaea is penelope and mydei is a different unrelated to the story guy altogether in that he's ares/achilles/orestes... yeahhh... Yeah... i like that.

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almost-perfect blue notes

2025-09-02T01:30:24Z

perfect blue, phaidei, rated m for Violent Imagery, 6k

>wow the way this was one of the only fics I wrote this year that I actually liked upon completion [the other being inheritance] ... not sure what that says about me or how i feel about the quality of my writing. but it's true that I sort of was like, let me invent groups of 3, run-on sentences and montaging from first principles once again. and that's how we're here. let me try to explain this in full meaningful sentences.

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everything is about winning and losing

2025-04-20T20:34:52Z

there are probably a lot of layers to this winning and losing thing, for example it was exoomr's brithday party, which was fun and nice and she seemed happier about my friends being there instead of my being there which could mean nothing or something, or I'm overthinking it; every house party I go to I'm filled with this vague notion that I will meet someone and hook up and that will be that, except that kind-of never or barely happens, and statistically, because these things happen at these places, it has to fly by at some point.
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realpolitik

2025-04-12T05:37:45Z

recently I read 2666, watched the pitt, read a couple book reviews on the world socialist website, which was interesting and at various points very moving, but i need someone to tell me what opinion to have about it, I read some Chirstian Gerlach, stuff like that.

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ulysses

2025-01-23T03:55:04Z

So, there’s this famous modernist novel that takes place over the course of a day and is written in a fragmentary stream of consciousness and is a re-telling of The Odyssey, with both stories being named after the titular character… and it’s… Mrs. Dalloway?

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september in books

2024-10-09T02:15:09Z

because i um... have yet to read a single damn thing in october... so... i need to get back on this pretentious grindset neowww... and also stop flopping at keeping up with classwork >///<

well...on with it

boy parts

I hated this so much every single moment of it I wanted to kill myself and every person who was putting me through this trial…so NOURA... it did have like mid/mediocre story effect where the entire time I was like ‘and this is what I would’ve done or preferred with the narrative etc etc’ made a really good feudal lord/handmaiden dynamic joke at some point and got laugh reacts in the discord server so... overall some days of my life wasted on this endeavour
ok essentially noura's parasocial figure of interest ISSS eliza clarke, and someone on dw wrote about this book ages ago in a way that had me convinced I would hate it for whatever reason despiteee the fact that they were ostensibly praising it so hard and i litr loved all the other books they recommended... so i assumed I was going in closehearted and it would surprise me, and so I was like 'ok i will read this alongside the idiot' (which is another book i was going to be approaching closehearted with hatred and preconceived notions) bc they were both noura recs... well the idiot was allegedly a rec by noura's sister who said it was her favourite book (later we would find out, in real time, the both of us That this was not true, and she hadn't even read it... so LOL)... as you know, i loved the idiot. and so reading this was genuinely painful
my problem was the entire time that eliza clarke was very good at the tumblr parts and very mid/boring/basic regarding every other part like we get it, irina is supposed to be annoying and an asshole and insufferable etc etc etc... and so the way the plot progressed and how things unfolded were both predictable and not aided or made up for by either some kind-of depth afforded to irina, or by the writing itself which i didn't care for, or like, a more regressive/reactionary plot... it just fell flat for me, esp since like... i think there was a version of this book that was a lot more interesting or at least, Committed to a lot of it's contours, and this felt like the lukewarm execution made to please both The Public (nebulous, not really what i mean) and the freaks who wanted the weirder more fucked story ... whatever it was fine.
also can someone tell me if penance is good

the late americans

i was like >do I have a biased image of mfas and iww orrrrr are neither really not as bad as I think… and then I read this and it confirmed everything i believed about the iww and mfas… and once again I am stewing in my lofty palace of hate and arrogance because i am vindicated and right about it
Kind of like ummm other than in the dream house literally iww has produced nothing or note or value and also rt amy hugerford the yale lecture series 2003 THE IWW SERIOUSLY HAS INSTITUTIONALISED THE NOVEL🤧
in the end my beef with the iww as well as with 'american' lit. is that americans hate to be american and so they refuse any kind of nationhood or identity and always resist picking any sides or any stances and this entire novellll was about guys who did not want to be 'anything' because they thought it would place them above all the things they looked down at and were looked down for... i should start c_p'ing my discord live-reads/twt livereaccs to these but ... it's very frustrating to watch american's staunch backing and bombing of palestine and lebanon, and then to see that very attitude that makes it possible for it to act upon these politics and make shallow concessions and do all the doublespeak and media play and bureacratic nonsense, and you know, see that it's a problem at all levels and in all facets of american society and culture, including the Big Mechanical Institution That Makes All Their Novelists, and then know that this IS the point of their books and their status and their celebrity or vague fame or wh

portrait of the artist as a young man (1.5x)

well… i thought I would be rolling my eyes the entire time but at least james joyce was a tortured artist deep cut loser FOR REAL… my problem isnt with pretentious githeads or holier than thou (LOL) artists its with guys who DONT COMMIT. and james was committing.
um seriously so funny that this book is entirely and only about religious guilt and trauma the entire time i was like oh james joyce u would love my lesbian roommate... you are the same person even. ok not true but seriously so funny...
genuinely beautiful writing and turns of phrase and joyce is eclectic and pretentious in all the ways i like and support and can forgive men about... idk i also read sally rooney's treatise on joyce/ulysses so that was also making me feel sooo open-hearted and i am litr guy who is in (and always will be) my irishboo era and am deeply committed to the beautiful and proud nation of ireland... dublin wait for meee wait for me dublin
i was thinking i was going to do my final essay on this x disco elysium but actually this is so little about dublin imo... but i think actually maybe the way language progresses and comes back/through both of them is pretty good treatment but again idk...
this also inspired (alongside the idiot et all, rooney) a lot of my autofiction rants... where in the end I THINK AUTOFICTION IS GOOD. and i think autofiction is good, and always superior to the memoir because you care about the Narrative/the Story more than you care about 'the truth' (...) i think autofiction is doing this funny paradox where the author is trying to cover up their arrogance by pretending it's not about them all while finding themselves and important enough to talk about and make other people read about ALL WHILE assuming they are a very small author and a very small person and cannot write about anything beyond the little things they have experienced/achieved/accomplished and in fictionalising it, are adding the glitz and glam and Structure that literature provides in order to make this life that could have been theirs More Worthy and Interesting in being a story.... ISN'T THAT GREAT? I think autofiction is so funny and I also have to mention here I think I have a much broader bound of autofiction than what it is traditionally considered so.

resurrection

kind of the funniest novel in the world for the majority of its run because tolstoy is making fun of nikhudryev of being a liberal the entire time and then it ends in the worst way a novel has ever ended in the world and im like THIS IS WHAT MY MOM’S FAVOURITE NOVEL?
so i did read this bc it is no.1 novel my mom loves (and my dad too) and it took me a while and i was like i see what the hype about tolstoy is more or less... like in the end russians will be soooo good at painting pictures of men and women who exist within contradiction and therefore are perfect depictions of what PEOPLE are like. on the other hand they are kind of ass at doing interpersonal relationships between people while perfectly adept at understanding the relationships with authority so in the end... what can u say...
truly theee book that highlighted to me the obvious fallacy of the 'impartial systems of bureaucracy' like if ancillary justice approached it the opposite way where it started with TRUE STATEMENT: ALL DECISIONS MUST BE EMOTIONAL. this entire book, or parts of it at least, was about dissecting how no decision can be made without an emotional or personal aspect despiteee how structures like law and judgement and punishment want u to approach... the trial scene is genuinely sooo crazy...
also a funny personal story is that the translator (either american or british GOOGLE IS NOT HELPING ME HERE AT ALL...) was like yesss resurrection is considered 'bad' bc it is so moralistic (like...ctfu... books can't have morals?) but it is not as bad as tolstoy's worst short story, ivan ivanich. cue me turning to my mom and going 'hey,' and her saying yes resurrection is good (which i realised she liked, approximated 40 pages in bc it was so moralistic) and her going 'oh but tolstoy's best is --' dear reader, can you guess what she said?
ANYWAY. seriously worst flop ending in the world I can't fucking do it anymore ICB TOLSTOY WROTE MULTIPLE ENDINGS AND THEN HE WAS LIKE.... let me bestow upon my readers... the truth... which is that in the end the liberal becomes An American. FUCK YOUUU. like very true. BUT FUCK YOUUU. mfw u stop reading american novels to escape americans and even then...

either/or

and when I say i hate americans and the american novel i would never mean YOUUUU, ELIF BATUMANNN… selin my beloved🥹🫶okay i need to say more about these books than that but seriously ummmmmm nothing so beloved as myyy delightful smart and witty darling selin... I think I mostly read 'Literary Novels' (whatever that means LOL) because I love the narrative or the style, so unlike franchises or series, I'm never so attached to the specific characters... so like to finally have A CHARACTER from literature who is sooo alive and beloved by MEEEE who will live on in my heart and head forever and be myyyy stephen dedalus or anna karina or whomever... this is kind of linalenu mybrilliantfriend erasure but it's DIFFERENCEEE... selin my meowmeow of all time....
i was so scared this book was going to be about sex and then it was about sex... but in a defeatist way where right after selin is like 'sveltena don't u want to be in homoerotic perfect girl companionship with me' and then sveltena answers that by getting a boyfriend so selin now has to get with the program and start dating men... still truly truly not as bad as i thought it would be... i think i liked that it was a very analytical thing for her still, and so sex was An Act You Do bc once again this is another ritual she has to go through to seem Like A Normal Person rather than something that has bearing on her worth or attractiveness or lack thereof, which is what women having sex seems to become.... in general i love the complete disregard re/body&looks that both books have, which is part of what makes it so refreshing... TO MEEE... obviously there's mentions of clothes or hair or the whole episode with the ugly shoes but it's never in a way where you're made to feel like this is somehow such a vital or crucial aspect of Being A Woman/Girl...
anyway very relevant to this, or somewhat relevant, was elif batuman's article about empire and reading russians while they are waging war on ukraine, which did not necessarily come to a conclusion about anything but again - is a discussion about how we read things, how we could read things, how we are 'meant' to read things... something something mcluhan can always be applied to any crime scene but also i need to read frederic jameson ideology soongeee... in the end

females, totem/taboo (not well)

we were calling alc a visionary and a legend and a truly new novel awesome thinker and i was like she is myyyy philosopher king and i read this and felt that even more deeplyyy... i noted this in tw3, but alc has that very punchy style where every paragraph is set up like a joke, where you have bewildering premise, buid-up/explanation, punchline... it's a very recognisable and specific school of essay writing/writing treatment, that is very entertaining and it works really well for her obviously...
i think i didn't expect how personal she got with it, down to the porn addiction reveal et all, but I also think it was refreshing to read something that was a personal piece more so than any vague academic theory or whatever... I LIKED IT I HAD FUNNNN... i agreed with a lot of her ideas, and even when I don't agree with her, I still think she has a lot of interesting things to say or rotate around ur mind as a cube or wme... she's just fun!!!
reading freud was an experience because everytime you'd be like, wait... Is this a bar? he'd be like AND THAT'S WHY MEN WANT TO FUCK THEIR MOTHERS. like bro! shut up about the oedpius complex! shut up! (...) ok but my reading of this truly was so bad um the copy that was at my school library was 50 yrs old so i really distracted by pinching holes into the paper with my nails and the textural sensation of that and it was so... anyway. i will try again at some point bc oomr kind-of does laud it as one of her holy grail religious criticism texts...

fasting, feasting

SOOOO GOOD. miss desai you are everythingggggggg
it took me approximately 10000 yrs to read this, but i am really glad I DID!! aris essentially is doing their thesis on it and I Want To Be There... so obviously next on my list is kieran desai the inheritance of loss (...) and then i can fully synthesis All Themes and Ideas...
in the end I really liked both ends of the narrative, the claustrophobic experience of Living In A Family Society with uma and the bleakness of American Life with arun... that neither of them are very happy or satisfied with where they are and what they have done and will do... i think there's something to be said that 'happiness' has never really been the goal, especially not within the subcontinent or even the continent probably. there's always been some pressure of survival, and it's just that the upper bounds of How Successful that survival could be are now broader... in some senses yes in some senses no... like esp with my parents generation, why they did the things they did why they immigrated this and that, it was not so much in search for 'happiness' or 'success' but 'better' and 'easier'? in some ways.. IDK... really heart-shattering book in many ways esp for how it tries to make the best out of this minute miserable existence and experience...
i think that is the hardest part of writing 'the subaltern' or historically/actively oppressed is both representing the smallness and forced indignities of their lives and also communicating that this person does still have dignity, is still capable of joy and deserves to live... like i'll only say it a million times but there is almost a notion of 'this life is not worth living' to some stories or experiences that undermines that a person has still lived that kind of life... there is so much unfairness in undue harm and tragedy, even ones that seem so small, and yet.
prose somehow managed to be rich but simple... genuinely you are so easily able to inhabit the world and landscapes these characters are in... desai was soooo good... and her observations were both sooo cutting and clever and at times offered with humour, both in the sense that she was making a joke out of the situation at hand but also because the pain of there being nothing to do other than laugh about it...
ON THAT NOTE: it's been discussed a little specifically wrt to indigenous practices of handling trauma, but i think a lot of subcontinental writers rely on satire and sarcasm irony, esp in the period of partition/post partition, to deal with these huge persisting generational issues and traumatic structures... maybe i will go try and do some reading on that.

intermezzo

kind of the power of reading intermezzo and joyce so closely together was that it made me like both better…okay so I only did like the joycean sections of intermezzo (AKA the peter pov and peter's story in general) and I felt extremely /neg about all the other parts though i did think margaret got some of the best observations/lines in general...
as always sally rooney prose or story is nothing to write home about and the single thing she does so well she literally didn't do the entire time bc she was too busy crafting a different kind of narrative and I wasn't enjoying it...the reason i liked the peter sections is because she experiements so minutely, and she does very subtle shifts from book to book, so it was really exciting even LOL to see her jump deep into fragmentation and being more sparse with language in terms of sentence structures but more vivid in terms of stream of consciosness/general atmosphere and description... i also really loved that she was doing DUBLIN... i cheered i yayed i enjoyed it... finallyyyy PLACE MATTERS... and it really does peter was so much about not having identity or anything beyond the material to under himself or his worth by lol....
IN SAYING THAT... peter is kind of like kendall roy to me. very clearly toxic sigma alpha male pathetic man type.... but also.... Miserable Pathetic Eldest Daughter of all time. within him he holds both extremes. so in the end he is also beth's spectre of Bang Chan From Eldest Daughter Twitter... idk i thought it was so funny everyone was kind-of missing that he was the Sally Rooney Girl, you know, sharp intelligent easy to dislike, very cool and chic on the outside, a total fucking self-hating mess on the inside who is insecure and believes himself incapable of being loved/wanted and is desperate for any pearls of affection offered to him... because, i feel like you're always looking for this girl when you read rooney, and it was so funny to be midway through the book and go Oh! PETER is MARIANNE. because he is.
in the end it was one of those 400 pages books where one moment of perfect understanding between two people justified the slog and uphill battle of it all... when peter and margaret see each other for the first time outside of ivan's chess tournament and recognse who the other is immediately and both are so cautious and careful and want to understand and be understood by the other TwwwT ahhh the sally rooneyism of all time coming through ONCE just ONCE... the most romantic moment in the book TO ME down to how neither of them could bring themselves to actually enter the room to watch ivan's match.... ooooh... what a moment...
i also liked, and this seemed to be overlooked by some critics, how naomi's dialogue was so genz or memey or overused humour in that it really conveyed a lot of about her and what kind of person she was, and this appearance of wit and intelligence in a way that was appealing to peter, but as ivan says, neither of them really, you know... idk i think it captured the youth and triteness of her ability to communicate quite well.. like she knows the baseline thing she has to say to be seen as 'funny' or 'charming' without really conceiving of the witticism herself... anyway that's whyyy her best line of dialogue and the only time she really says something worth is that last conversation 'we were both playing games / we both wanted to win' etc etc... i actually don't know that I believe this take myself but here it is...
i also. liked the extremely accurate and real portrayal of trying to have a relationship with a brother u hate who looks down on you and who u can't stand but is the better speaker between the both of u. like... sorry to that brown girl who said that sally rooney is not writing books for her, but i personally can't relate. she's writing books about ME. genuinely could do nothing but :wechatcrylaugh: everytime they had a fight or we were in ivan's head about it like... it do be like that.

the giver

truly 1984/Brave New World for kids. like, baby’s first Utopia/Dystopia dialectic (…) literally reading the part where jonas lies down shirtless on the bed to ‘receive’ the memories the giver ‘gives’ to him and i was like lois lowry what did u know about the grecian tradition of pederasty and pedagogy…. easily yhe gayest shit in the world im so sorry i was shocked and awed and gagged.
also id read this like fioddndioedn 12 years ago(????) for school so i didnt remember the end and then i read it again and was shocked and awed even like Uuhhhhh How beautiful was it to end on a note of Hope… On the promise of a dream… literally how beautiful is it to have Hope🥹

my list for next time: the inheritance of loss, hard to be a god, my laundry list of theory probably lol, the god of small things (for the second time!), the autobiography of alice b toklas, untouchable, mrs.dalloway... yes i am doing a class on modernism how could u tell.

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month_in_reading: august -- 100 pages a day keeps the cellphone brainrotting diseases away

2024-09-04T01:41:07Z

kind-of. anyway in august I was like >I need to become a better or smarter or more well-read person, and since I was not getting a job, despite, needing to get a job, and resigning myself to joblessness, I decided to read 100pages a day. I had also decided, earlier in the summer, to learn bangla and french. neither of which i did. anyway now we are in september, and I have added spanish to that list. just for fun. in any case the french is because when I made a different reading list in the beginning of summer, again, for the quest of intellectualism or whatever it is when you know you're stupid but not as stupid as the next person down the line and you need to at least do the reading to allow u to think like that, that list contained quite a lot of french. actually, I was glancing though a wikipedia article of scholars from martinique, and i realised many of the greatest post-colonialists are from small countries annexed by the french, and so these intellectuals all wrote in french, as did the actual french such as foucault and sartre and d'beauvoir, though I can't say I ever added the second sex to my reading list due to, Being A Woman, camus, et all, and some guys, who weren't even french, wrote in french anyway because it was the thing. marx. i'm referring specifically to marx. anyway. and then I also saw that spivak taught herself french by translating derrida, so I'm trying to do that with les damnes de la terre. oh and how could i forget. I WATCHED ANATOMIE, which really did settle it for me. the bangla because I really should know bangla, obviously. the spanish because there's this spanish short story class that I wanted to take that required lvl600 proficiency. because. presumably. we would have to read the stories in spanish. well, anyway. here we are now. my bangla is not any better. my french is... lacking, and every other second i regret not paying more attention during my mandatory schooling, how the fuck was I supposed to know this would become a necessary interest of mine. my spanish is coming in form of a spanish<>eng dictionary i picked up in perth, ON, at a little library. and my books! some read.

so august was women in translation month. I read, three? women in translation. one helen dewitt. fortysomething pages of clarice lispector that I gave up, perhaps I was not meant to start with a novel but instead the thing she was actually known for. a dostoevksy. a woman who was a fan of dosotoevsky. um. probably one other thing that's slipping my mind idk. ANYWAY. mostly I have learnt that I hate modernism. which anyone could've said.

the list: lolita, minor detail, the gambler, the idiot, notes of a crocodile, crooked line, kim jiyoung born 1982, brick lane, the last samurai

LOLITA
I will start by cheating. I read lolita in like.... april...? i actually have yet to finish it, but that's how you know it's GOATED. litr one of theeee greatest novels of all time to me ever, was feeling so many feelings that I had only previously felt about my brilliant friend, ummm isn't it so amazing in the end that you don't even need to finish this book to know it's just That Good. well that's how I'm looking at it. I did read it to understand the 3 lectures in the yale amy hugerford the american novel since 1945 series, and they were good lectures kindof sort of she is such a nabakov head which is FINEEE... it's fineee... but since then I have realised I facking hate the american novel (and obviously this doesn't count since nabakov is RUSSIAN and writing as a 'tourist' and it is not so much about america but observing america) and also that I hate when art is not autonomous and we give so much importance to the history of the author in the making and meaning of the novel but obviously hugerford was also making an argument about artists and institutionalisation and public attitudes and how all things converge into making such a thing that we know as 'the novel' (in the american sense) ... also I hate modernism. which can't be true because there is some modernism that I enjoy. but i think on the whole i hate it's resistance and lack of commitment and self-pitying attitude towards 'identity' and it's love for senselessness... anyway.

do you want me to actually talk about the novel. I think nabakov is the writer of the century, he achieved something with his prose that possibly literally no one else on this earth ever will. when I say i don't have to finish this book to know that it's one of the greatest novels of all time, i just mean stylistically. i just mean because of his prose. it's kinda ctfu because this novel drags so much but the prose goes so crazy, and also it really really made me realise how much of a disservice we do to art and also life to look at it moralistically... like pleaseeeee... I really do think the themes of pedophillia are by far the least interesting thing this novel does. in any case, one of the novels of all time ever that u read and then go drive on the highway for hours and go 'WOW! This is Just Like Lolita' <very real experience I just had. it's so gorgeous and the greatest and worst reading experience and just entertaining (...) IDK It's literally such a good read, I loved it, I was, exactly as hugerford predicted... captivated....

MINOR DETAIL
the book that we have all been talking about since october last year. I don't know how to describe what has happened, what has been happening, and what is happening right now in palestine in a way that can encompass all her sorrows and struggles and suffering and offer any kind of well-meaning sentiment and nuance about it. it's just awful, and I think, you can never really understand how this judgement of 'awful' can be so much worse than just the newest terrifying headline you've read or clip you've seen or indignity a Palestinian has suffered. this is also what sitting with minor detail was like, because after I had read it, I watched adania shibli's interview with fatima bhutto about it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TJ1jpTYQcU) and, she reveals that while she was doing research for this novel and going to the very museum it describes, she had been arrested and detained. and that was simply a detail that hadn't been reflected into the text, that made it somewhat, hopeful even. the fantasy that she had gotten away with her deceptions somehow.

otherwise, as a novel, i think it was so aptly named and so well formed, and it's encompassed with the section where she tells you the story of how you can recreate a whole picture with only minor details, as in the story of the three brothers and the camel. what she does for you, of course, is allow you to recreate this whole picture of occupation and israeli violence as her two characters go about, what is to them, a normal day. it's very precise and very concise. easy to read, but hard to sit with.

THE GAMBLER
kind-of the funniest read of this list ctfuuu... huge tonal change from minor detail which perhaps was not what i needed but what happened anyway. also during I was re-entering the sally rooney mines due to writing fic inspired by sally rooney so I was like, creating parallels in my mind et all et all, like sally rooney is only good at writing one thing and that is the interpersonal and the inability of people to understand one another and her characters are always doing some pantomime of communication and never quite succeeding due to class/gender/etc while dostoevsky is only good at writing psychological profiles and his characters never talk to each other so much so as they talk At each other, anyway this was a translation done by a woman who time has sort of forgotten about in comparison to all the other very well translators/translations of dostoevsky, but according to some random website and a reddit post, it was a decent translation and the one on the library shelf (...) mostly, there was a preamble about dostoevksy's personal life and history and it was genuinely sooo entertaining i was going 'he really is just like me FR FR' and he was truly living a very third world life, i guess, and obviously, was addicted to gambling and a woman who was decades younger than him that he'd only met once. and that was what the story was about. genuinely reading it like ...IF NOT FOR THE LAWS OF TIME FYODOR U WOULD LOOOOVEEEE MOBILE GACHA... he would be a yae miko stannie or whatever.

anyway. two accessory things of note, (1) allegedly dostoevksy was more or less conservative re/his views et all, because he believed in russian orthodoxy, but obviously to the west, due to his criticisms of the catholic?church he comes off less conservative but idk, this is again from a reddit comment i will have to read more to know but also idk if i'm interested like that. he was also living an amazing life where he would simply just um be writing from deadline to deadline and he never had enough money and he was juggling eight different mouths and he was emotionally or spiritually cheating on his wife and his dreams and motions were huge flops but at least he was a slayful novelist! which did not matter because he was always gambling away any and all money he had and therefore he could write this story where everyone falls into destitution and delusion because all they have is gambling. the second note is that everyone thinks dostoevsky is more or less sexist, which is so funny, to me, because yah obviously none of his women are agents in a story so much as objects of infatuation or more commonly irritation, but also: he writes women the exact same way he writes men, which makes me laugh and doesn't make me despair at how he hates women because he doesn't really. he's just ... a man.

NOTES OF A CROCODILE
so the very first page has an author biography and I read it and then I made my roommate read it and then we both like, laughed, in an uncomfortable and pained way because um, of course. anyway, it very much set the tone of the book. nico said that they liked it but it was a little painful and depressing! and I think i liked it too, mostly. a lot of it reads like someone has made a novel about all the assorted east asian movie still/frames/quotes tumblr posts you see, which makes sense due to it being a 80s/90s literary relic from taiwan. some of it was moving, I particularly enjoyed the main rhetorical device, which was the crocodile metaphor as outsiderism/genderfuckery/et all, and the section where the narrator describes the woman they are living with...and she describes all the pitfalls and weaknesses of her character and provides the full psychological profile... it was very gripping I'M SO SORRY THE NAME IS FAILING TO COME TO ME... otherwise very quotable book, I'm not sure I got anything out of it other than it being very moody and trying to encompass a certain kind of depth of thought and aimlessness of having to live a life that you don't want and don't know what to do with. idk i think it's books like this that make you understand the want/importance to be 'one's most authentic self' more so than any pride pin or what have you.... also the writing is a mix of very contemporary but also sometimes lyrical but also easy to read... this is more or less my first taiwanese novel, and anything else I read that's been translated from chinese has been danmei LOL so in many ways it was much more accessible for the american psyche than other stuff. sorry i really did not have a lot to say about this one ;-;

NORMAL PEOPLE
it must be said I knew I would like this and it also must be said that while I like sally rooney on a personal level, I do not respect the regard and popularity and celebrity she's garnered. like ummm... how to say... kind of made me realise in many ways one truly has to be a little mediocre in order to be popular. and while i don't like that, this is the stage of worldwide reading comprehension we are at rn. in any case, everything i liked about normal people the book is better represented in the show, and i really do think sally rooney is better at script writing than prose writing, but every now and then she'll have a moment in her book where she'll meander and describe a road or room or something about the setting rather than her characters internals/externals, and it'll be, idk, oddly fanfiction-y almost in how out-of-place it is. like an afterthought where she's been reminded that she shouldn't have empty room syndrome lol. which is not a real thing btw.

anyway I do not think I can get into my extended sally rooney rant rn, but it's umm soo crazy, because I went back to read some of the sex scenes of beautiful world bc i remember them making me so uncomfortable the first time around but this time around, i realised they were a lot softer? than i thought. like literally.... i was kindof promised D/s and there wasn't even D/s for babies... which is fine. i don't care that much. anyway I would never recommend anyone read any sally rooney unless u can truly appreciate the one thing she does really well because u will just hate her and not like it and assign her as one of the many milennial white women writing about whiteness which is not fair. at least I don't think so. like, real white women writing whiteness is much more annoying. i know because I'm reading boy parts rn.

CROOKED LINE
literally uhhh imagine me discovering ismat chungtai in my partition literature search and then learning about the blanket, and then aris tells me about this being a book that changed my life, and then THIS BEING LIKE EVEN MOREEEE CRAZY THAN THE BLANKET X100000000... anyway. she suffers from short story writing disease like many authors, due to some of her chapters reading like a collection of different stories/happenings from the life of one woman rather than an actual novel, at points, but it was still soooo enjoyable, chughtai was obviously so modern but obviously sooo of her time, and more importantly she was sooooooooo coy... and you can read it so clearly in her writing, like she's known for her satire and also, like this deadpan sort of sarcasm or whatever. where you know, she's never going to tell you what she actually thinks, but also you're dumb as shit to take her at face value, which u will do, because she is a woman. kind-of a terrible thought, but this was doing normal people in the 1940s way before sally rooney was even decided to exist, in that, you have a narrator who is convinced she is unloveable and there is something fundamentally wrong with her except obviously this is coming from an indian muslim woman from the subcontinent. but also literally so faaaacking funny that the book ends with her romance with an irishman. and then her decision to get an abortion. which was the only righteous way for it to end, imo. though uh, the ending is very open-ended. anyway the foreword was literally so beautiful in that the book was describing shamman as a crooked line herself, refusing to bend the way society dictates her too. LITERALLY SUCH A GOOD BOOK... it sort of makes me giddy just to think about, due to how groundbreaking it is in my mind likeeee sooo much homoerotic sexual exploration happening between women, and then they're expected to hang out with men and make lives with them, and they do, but the men never even matter, not really, IDK.... LITERALLY BEAUTIFUL GROUNDBREAKING NOVEL OF ALL TIME TO PROVE THAT EVEN IN A SOCIETY WHERE THEY ARE DEEPLY SUBJUGATED BY MEN WOMEN STILL HAVE AGENCY AND IF NOTHING ELSE CONTROL OVER THEIR OWN THOUGHTS... lovely incredible wonderful showstopping book.

THE LAST SAMURAI
sorry lin for only reading the last samurai ummmm .... so many years after u first told me about it. HOWEVER. it was so good it was so worth it helen dewitt U SLAYEDDD... i love sitting down to write these reviews because I forget literally everything i could ever think or say. ummm literally incredible novel about loving ur mom and both of u being bored geniuses, and the book of ADHD personified ever like wow.... the moment where you're in the middle of a section and ludo breaks it, wonderful lovely book. incredible amazing moment. probably will live in my mind forever. I think there's some fair criticism about why is the novel trying to imitate film/audiovisual medium/etcka etcka but I was reading the back cover, where a critic describes it as a 'new kind of novel. a breakthrough in the genre' and I don't know that I agree still, but I think, obviously what makes a good novel so different from a normal novel is when the structure can imitate the content, like this is a book that is constantly interrupting itself and that in and of itself, is soooo good!!! anyway i really dk if it's never been done before, but I think it's good at capturing the scattered mind... someone wrote something about it being about the male father figure and masculinity or whatever, but I don't know if i agree with that at all, like obviously half the book is him searching for a father, or rather, screening men as possible fathers, but it's not for the sake of Having A Dad, it's to the end of relieving his mother some of this burden of parenting. i genuinely did find some of the commentary on how children are one of the classes that have the least rights/freedoms really interesting. as well as, just the thing in the beginning about how constraining writing to one language is to strip it of all further dimensions, bc obviously reading is so much of a mental thing, but the most important thing about a sentence is how it sounds or how it Reads and english is soooo limited with syllables and context and meaning... not a beautiful or conveying language at all... anyway. one of the books about everything ever. and I really did think I would hate it once it became about the little boy!

KIM JIYOUNG, BORN 1982
the end of this where you realise this is case notes from a male psychologist and he speaks a little of his wife and then his colleague who is leaving work, and it just ends in that very note of dismissal and ignorance that precipitates kim jiyoung's breakdown. i read this just as the nth room 2 news was breaking, and it was genuinely horrific to be so constantly and persistently reminded about how awful it is for women. idk. again this sounds so trite but I don't know what else to say. i think i live in such a bubble, really. i don't think i've ever been against sexism in such a sharp hard way as this. anyway, the rate of sex crimes and sexual harassment/related incidents are so high in korea, and it just got me thinking about the american influence versus the developing social stigma, and so you have conservatism regarding gender roles and roles of women et all, but also, this complete looseness of sexual degeneracy. like attitudes towards women are very similar in the south/islamic countries, but sexual abuse/crimes are obviously a lot more hidden and happen more in the marital sphere? i would garner. like, the very controversial bangla law where if a man rapes a village girl, he has to marry her. there's some nuance to that one. but, generally, this cultural thing where the nature of sexual degeneracy changes depending on the social conditions of the country right. anyway, this is sort of baby's first book on feminism, and it covers a lot of things in various realms with a pointblankness that makes it both easier and harder to swallow.

THE IDIOT
this is the elif batuman novel. anyway, noura was begging me to read boy parts due to her own parasocial rs with eliza clarke and i was like, ok, well since i hate the idea of reading it and have prejudice against it i will read it along with this other novel i also hate the idea of reading and have prejudice against (...) anyway, neither were available at my uni library so i resigned myself to reading them on my phone, and then I read the first page of both and realised I would immediately like the idiot so much more. so i read it first, to stave off the misery from boy parts. AND IT WAS SO GOOD. kind of the girlautism novel written with ME in mind... im sure many other young women have said that but truly due to the sexless nature of the romance and the asexual representation and the >Nothing Happens They Both Leave ... i was so gagged... bc everyone mentions this along with normal people as a Campus novel, and ig a lot of campus novels are so about sex so for something to be so popular and focus so much on the absence of sex as well as just, the narrator herself, selin, always being like 'why does he hate meee' and then giving him the one word answers. and being like 'i love him so much' but you can't even tell from her actions until u read her write it out... it's soooo... LITERALLY SO PERFECT TO MEEE!!!

I was telling oomirl about this, and obviously I described it as a campus novel, due to that being it's principle setting, and she was like, 'you know i think i've matured out of those, i'm no longer in that period of my life' and i didn't say anything, but I didn't think the point was the campus or the romance, but i think it is very much about this search of/loss of identity.language and u could say, well that's literally every modernist/post modern novel everrrr... and Yes but no, obviously the campus/first yr harvard student thing comes in here because it is so painfully youthful and awkward in how selin is beginning to stumble on her very first legs, and I think, i don't know I just thought it was so good!!! i was so endeared!!! i have to say like 90% of my enjoyment of this book was her fixation on social convention and how much she disliked/could not understand it and then would say or do those things anyway, trying to seem 'normal' like it was soooo.... there was such a funny line where she's like 'i was lying about being unable to resist chocolate like everyone else does' and then a couple sections later, she wakes up in the middle of the night to sneak the chocolate she brought for other people. she was very endearing to me. also, out of every single book, i think this had the most decisive and impactful ending line. that made it SOOOO GOOD. and in her acknowledgement elif batuman shoutouts dostoevksy so cutely for letting her borrow his title.

BRICK LANE
book that MY MOM and MY BROTHER have both read but I had never heard of. i tried to watch the movie after I finished but i could not take the britishism seriouslyyy... after reading 10489952385300 books about how intelligent academic scholarly women who understood the world or something deeper and also understood the ways the world wounds them, this was startling. i was genuinely so impressed about how, books do not have to be about smart women. and monica ali truly did go out of her way to write a book about a very simple woman, plucked from the village, who does not question any part of her life. it was painful at times, because of her passivity. her always eating by the sink in the dark, the way she doesn't protect her daughters. there is this one scene, where she and her youngest are in the kitchen, eating at the sink together, and pretending not to look at each other because they both can't bear it. INSANEEEE... my brother's criticism of this book was that 'it was written for white people' which i think is so patently ridiculous because i think half of this book is incomprehensible unless you're bengali and you've seen these living situations. especially, hasina's letters from bangladesh, like i don't think you can understand her situation at all and what's really happening beyond her descriptions unless you have had house help like that. you're like 'is this the sixpeenceee child maid situation' and I'm like yeah a little bit, but it is worse for an older woman. AND SHE WAS BARELY THIRTY. anyway. incredible book. really really really worth the read. also one of the best ending scenes possible.

uhhh...anyway, so I'm currently suffering through boy parts, am really trying to find the copy of the idiot my school library is convinced is on the shelf bc it seems like mandatory follow up reading for batuman, resurrection which is my parent's joint favourite book, am obviously tuned in for intermazzo, i will be trying to read some russian women, obviously i am also on the hunt for more subcontinental literature, ummm and I'm also thinking of raking through the kincaid archives. no i do not want to read anything published after 2005, thank u for understanding my endless disappointment with contemporary lit. sally rooney is literally my version of vaping or whatever.

comments

new boys just dropped

2024-05-03T17:29:16Z

boys of all time even...

in twitter3, there were some sentiments of like picking out a 5th gen bg to stan.... it's bg summer or whatever... and the options were looking like either zb1 or riize... and I'm Different, I'm Not Like Other Girls, I don't even wanna go to either of those places¹ , and so. instead, my beloved oomf nico who had been earthwind&fire posting overtime won the pr battle and BOYNEXTDOOR I WENT² ...

IDK how to format this post... I feel like I'll do a reverse pyramid structure, I'll go general overview to ummm... specific member insights. I kind of also want to practice chicago notation so that's why there may be footnote overdose... please note that you need to have the footnotes tab open for the back/forth to work...so it might be a little rough for a bit so please bear with me. anyway. this is kind-of initial first impressions. I'm super culpable to being wrong about like, all of this even. ANYWAY.

DOPPLEGANGER ALLEGATIONS

we literally have to get this out of the way. okay half of these guys literally do remind me idols I have loved before and/or have not loved but maybe appreciated even... and it's better because I actually like them :D

jaehyun > jungkoo, karina, shotaro

...okay recently I discovered that my type for the past year-ish or so has been PREY ANIMAL, and I literally love guys with big boba ball eyes and mouthpouch and general weak prey animal demeanours, weak chin is a plus even...and sooo
he and karina are kind of both top-half heavy wrt to their face, and seem to be made from the same jawless mouse in that they are both sooooo skittish and scared of everything... Very Very Cute
litr if u are a Real Jungkook fan, like if u were there in the jeongguk ao3 days... if u were there for run and had watched their super early era bangtan bombs and stages... THE BABY JUNGKOO RESEMBLANCE GOES CRAZYYYY... admittedly he really is not giving more jawful super recent jungkook, but back when they had 3 dollars and a hair straightener... the like wide-eyes/boyishness/innocence/randomly emo 'hip-hop' styling³ goes crazy... it also has to be babyjungkook because they have the same babyish energy....
he is litr, TO ME, shotaro if he slayed. they both have slightly spaced out tareme which is soooo cuuuteeee even.... straight nose, upturned mouth IDK... this is deffo not an unfounded comparison but idgaf about shotaro like that even...

taesan > sunghoon, lino, hwang minhyun even...

oomirl (MY FRIEND EVEN...MY BEST FRIEND) was telling me about how hybe stans stole the uhhh, jaejoong clone joke from sm fans and were saying that hybe keeps debuting the same 3 guys, and it seriously must be said this guy is sunghoon face sooooo much... but pre-nose job even which is making it possible to enjoy his visuals so much more...
mich pointed out that he was giving lino and I didn't suuuper see it or agree⁴ ...but then I literally um started watching their vids and he was giving lino so muchhhhh in terms of general demeanour and vibe, like my guy is like 1:1 with the uncanny staring and focus and weird-yet-charming-kind-of standoffishness likeeeeeeee Ok, all cat types are the same We Get It...
hwang minhyun makes this cut bc they truly have the same serious blankface upfronted energy when observed from some angles

woonhak > kihyun, eric even

okay u have to understand I first saw him with the mahogany hair and if you were ever an early days mx fan... it was literally IMMEDIATE synapse connection but litr. it was >AND THIS GUY IS LIT. KIHYUNS I HAVE LOVED BEFORE…
and then I was watching their stuff, and he was like similar to like ummm, eric out of general somewhat buffoonish boyishness but in a really specific childlike naïveté way even…overall very cute huge recommend even...

I think from some angles riwoo is somewhat like ikon jinhwan.. AND I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD BE EASIER TO SEE IF THEY DIDN'T KEEP GIVING HIM SUCH FUCK ASS HAIRCUTS... but he's got the same small stature/build with like cutie-delicate boy face... idk like he literally dodged the bullet of being the designated little boy styling member of the group because they keep ignoring his beautiful delicate visual potential.... in the end it's um... Count Your Fucking Days KOZ...

OVERALL VIBE CHECK

very cute group I Like Them... it kind of must be said like smaller/nugu company rookies?groups? are always kind of refreshing in how... um... open?candid?straightforward? they are... it might also just be like a generational thing, or honestly, I'm surprised at every idol ever being upfront about things due to ummmm having internalised the constant orwellian messaging of [THIS IS ALL AN ACT] [AND THEY HAVE TO PRESENT THE BEST IMAGE ALWAYS] ....

ANYWAY, it might also be the zico-trickle-down effect, but bnd are quite uncagey and not camera-unaware but camera-unaffected... some of this is to them still finding it novel and New rather than ummmmmmm invasive and Labourious... but I think it stands out with them because they're very friendly with each other in more of a friend-group-like way rather than stockholm'd coworkers who are familial or otherwise... this is genuinely a sentiment that shows up in their yt comments, and I find myself agreeing with. though it might be out of [newness] rather than anything else... and this isn't even to say that they're super close or they really like each other, but they're a very normal, recognisable kind of like school-group friendly with each other which makes sense bc they're all so close in age and also like. they have beautifully complimenting personalities FOR REAL!!!⁵

so the group make-up is like 2 ENFPs (always good), 2 guys who are quiet, and 2 guys who love to keep the peace... having two extroverted friendly members everyone likes is always good, I Think Personally, because if nothing else their shared love for woonhak is always letting them get along, along with their shared troubles with jaehyun's like, gross flirty tendencies, is always allowing them to bond over bullying BOTH of them... nothing like a beloved victim to keep the peace <3 (...) but uhhh more on this, riwoo and leehan, and taesan(sometimes) are all on the quieter side, but while riwoo is litr kind-of normal bystander type where he tries to join if he has something to say but is otherwise content to observe... but TAESAN IS A PROBLEM... and it's so beautiful kind-of honestly... they describe him as someone 'who likes to do his own thing' and this is obviously undoubtedly true. literally beautiful standoffish problematic black cat of the world... and he was the artistic emo,alt,rock-pilled goth of the group too... and then sungho and leehan are the guys who love to keep the peace. this is legit how they describe sungho, and I'm extending the sentiment onto leehan because even when he's teasing, he's always doing in a positive, affectionate way even... also he is genuinely so unbothered and unaffected all the time, litr always giving the impression of having zoned out, despite being zoned in, it's kind of beautiful...

ANYWAY, all in all, they're really not that awkward with each other, nor the camera, (...) this doesn't make them Entertaining per se... I definitely stuck it out through a couple of boring videos until I liked them enough to start enjoying the content... they're really not as funny as txt, but they're not like, Not worth the watch either. they are not like, fanservice gaybait-pilled in that very like, aware, way a lot of groups do now... WHICH IS NICE. I HATEEEE HAVING TO SIT THROUGH FORCED SKINSHIP LIKE NO ONE IS ENJOYING THIS PLEASEEEE... LITR JUST BE FRIENDS OR BE NORMALLLL... like mjh is like extremely umm... Like That...but it seems natural as opposed to he's trying to get shippable gifable moment⁶ ... part of the boringness comes from the lack of dynamics, in that they are really just Normal Guy Friends they play fifa, they listen to music, they leave each other alone and not alone... the dynamics are genuinely hardcarried by woonhak being beloved maknae and myungtae being obsessed with him... but you know, once you realise that, and you keep an eye out for it... um. let's just say it's an area of study that has barely been scratched at even... the other thing I think is ummm genuinely interesting is how Taesan is So Like That... it's kind-of agreed upon⁷ that leehan has autistic rizz but I want to posit that whatever taesan has is the Opposite of that... Babygirl U are so Disagreeable and Nightmareish-levels-of-T-pilled with ur group members yet weirdly angelic and perfectly kpopdol-like with ur fans We need to figure out what is going onnn... other than that um, woonhak is always getting yelled at or teased and it's super super cute and funny because he's always reacting despite knowing it's for the shits.... seriously sooooo cuuuuteee... I know this is the part where I bring up the last member of interest but um. WME.

I think the thing you have to internalise and always keep at the forefront of your mind when you watch BND is that they are a ZICO-project... and it's kind of like, if you know anything zico everything about bnd makes so much sense and also if u know anything about bnd, everything about zico makes so much sense... literally 2-way mirror situation here... I kind-of think what's most damning about this is that, taesan despite being the [2nd] most talented member, and The Most Visual, and the oldest trainee (7 years!!! [though apparently not at koz, and sungho is the oldest KOZ trainee it's kinda...]), jaehyun who joined last was ended up as the face of the group, and kind-of the main character... AND IT'S LITERALLYYY BECAUSE HE'S LIKE, THEEEE CHOSEN SPIRITUAL ZICO SUCCESSOR... anyway. just something a little funny to think about... just some light narcissism happening in the background there... the zico/koz complexes are kind of really funny and sometimes blatantly there and sometimes not so much... like truly the zico/blockb influences kind of sooo potent, and I feel like I'm maybe delusionally seeing things but I swearrrr it's in the vibes. it's in the song/singing/perf style... it's in the group make-up down to the mostly average visuals and very brazen(?)(confident?) stagesonas, the solid talent even though it's not totally outstanding... obviously in the visual aesthetic.. kind-of really beautiful as a blockb and zicofan to see like such blatant successors.

OH. and in that vein of thought. they are the True Nepo Babies of kpop to me LOL... like yeahb yeah yeah big3/big company/produce privileges exist and are a huge boost, but that's not nepotism, not really. on the other hand, if you have zico calling literally all of his idol contacts in the industry to get these guys to be on every show and/or get every person ever to do a tiktok challenge with them... LOL... along with that, they're under a hybe sub-label(?) but like, blatantly getting to abuse that... there's this whole clip of jungkook watching them on vlive and showing off their album CTFUUU, and obviously, they are always zico namedropping and having zico's name be dropped on them. it's just FUNNYYYY... and all of this yet you're still low-to-mid-tier popularity? we have to work harder u guys....

TALENTS/DISCOGRAPHY/THE MYTH OF SELF-PRODUCTION

I Think They Are Good. and Quite Good even. OK THANK YOU.^7*

okay firstly I will talk about their lyrics... which I think are very endearing and cute in that 'youthful'? way, where reading them you can tell both that they have a passion and also they're young and unpolished but the ability is there...! Idk, I think the zico influence is soooo clear, obviously it would be, but it's also like...I don't know, touching? the way they talk about their influences or where they draw the lyrics from. taesan in his weverse interview mentioned that leehan wanted a great gatsby vibe, and so he looked that up and tried to figure out how to incorporate that into the lyrics of l i f e i s c o o l, and then somehow ELVIS was there and all of that ended up in the final product and it was just like, really refreshing to get such a recognisable?regard for intertextuality as a source/method for inspiration and writing. in the same way, he said earlier that he listens to a lot of like classic rock because he thinks it's important to learn from the greats... IDK, I like guys who take their crafts seriously and are being taught and choosing to learn even in this era of kpop groups who want self-produced/self-written valour but are getting 0 notes on how to do it or what angle to approach it from...

also in their weverse interviews, and generally when they talk about song-writing there's this really, lovely, organic? fun quality to it? where they're having like blue-sky esque song-writing sessions and seeing what's fun or not, and ... I don't know, reading and hearing about it has this very light-hearted approach? where they're encouraged to Try and do what they think is good and will make the performance fun and engaging for them, as opposed to being held to this Super Serious standard (...) and I think genuinely, this is how it should be!!! I feel like there's a really good foundation/base being built here! and this silly, fun, lightheartedness is really prominent in their songs in a way, where you're like, Yeah, A band of young kids wrote this! like, the ending of serenade being this awkward but funny and charming even line of like 'I'll get along with your dad for you' LIKE YOU ARE SOOOOOO 19....!!! and it's great!!! and then earthwindfire with it's 'babyboosweetiedarlingthinkiloveyoumore' 2x speed line is sooooo... IDK IT'S SO CUTE AND FRESH AND LIKE YOU GUYS AREEEE GENZ LYRICISTS OF ALL TIME... like the more publicly acceptable, less fortnitegamerpilled version of the tiktok rizz song even... I think it's cute and fresh and really nice to see. anyway all of this follows their whole 'boynextdoor' casualness, 'mundane' concept even...

I have no particular fondness for idol-rappers, but I think jaehyun is probably like, in the 10% of idolrappers even... he is soooooo crazy idolrapper-pilled like I think I would be really interested in um, I don't know, I guess what he could do without the constraints of 'idol-style rapping'? because then I would have more of an opinion on it... also he is literally exyg trainee and you can spot that from miles away⁸ . but imo the craziest part is that he's literally so good at singing so like... WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HEREEEE... once again this can only be the fault of ZICO.!

okay I am kind-of over kpop talent discourse⁹ . on the other hand, I was genuinely surprised (esp in light of lessera gate) when they were suuuper stable during encores. I think 4th gen was kind-of built around this concept of like, if you have 1.5-2 aces, the rest of the group can be shit/visuals... and it's not badddd... like it certainly works for certain groups ... everyone eventually learns and gets better. but it is refreshing to see a group have a grip on the basics from the start, is what I will say.

I think they seem maybe more talented than they are?because they're very consistent and very good at their sound. it's kind of clear they don't have sm style slay vocal ranges, and are, like most kpop groups, good at the dancing bit [as they have to be], but what they are very good at is like, this fun and engaging stage presence and maintaining that sort-of atmosphere throughout. it works for the concepts they do, and is a more reachable bar for them and their style than say a heavy dark concept would've been or an overblown light/cutesy one.... I think the other contributing they are really well-matched in terms of ability, therefore you're not annoyed at like, any obvious talent disparities as soon as the verse changes LOL....¹⁰

um. OKAY i can talk about the fun stuff now. I think it's like JAEHYUN > TAESAN > WOONHAK >= LEEHAN, SUNGHO, RIWOO (...) obviously feel free to disagree or argue, it's just my impression. but yeah! I think obviously haksanjae are the standouts of the group because they're the best on stage... all three of them are like very engaging on stage, both able to sing and rap (and do both more than just decently!) [...] obviously sungho and leehan have better vocal ranges, and leehan specifically has a really nice and somewhat unique vocal colour within the group [the rest of them all have block/yg-esque slightly nasal tang] ... riwoo is obviously The Main Dancer and he's a good singer too... LIKE I MEAN ITTTT WHEN I SAY THEY'RE VERY WELL-MATCHED... it's just that the latter three are less brazen(?)/outstanding on stage. toned down even. idk if it's like leehan/sungho/riwoo are your average seasoned idol on-stage, then jaehyun/taesan/woonhyuk have that like, very brazen confidence that I kind-of think as like a classic yg-staple... wme...

I think what gives jaehyun the most edge is that he's like very attentive with expressions and is always like begging for attention even... he's also always approaching his ad-libs and moments with like this unashamed unabashed bursting(?) confidence... bro he would be so good in schoolrapper or something similar... liiiike there is a reason he's the face of the group/main character/etc even when he's not getting lines or centertime IDK... maybe I'm crazy but I don't think I am, I feel like it's always pretty obvious which member the group is meant to showcase...

in saying that. the guy who they're also doing that with is TAESAN... he's kind of the clear 'ace' of the group... which is funny and giving delicious dynamics of all time when you realise mjh is um... better than him. BUT THAT'S ENTIRELY BECAUSE OF EXTRAVERSION AND BEING MORE LIKE ZICO... what's really fun about taesan is that his influences and roots in the pop-punk/rock scene show up sooooo much in how he performs... like it's such a Of Courseeeee Your favourite band is MCR, ofc you actually listen to nirvana and the carpenters, etc, likeeeee Yeah You are BABY rockstar... and this is obviously also evident in his lyricism/delivery... idk it's really fun and again, like kind-of wonderful to see it manifest so apparently... :D

anyway. woonhak kind of the jeongin cutiebabymaknae appeal except... he's much more stable and talented and able to seize it instead of just having it be like, somewhat unintentional. I think he also has sooo much energy and this is what gives him that edge againnnnn.... like wk/jh are both really energetic so it's really fun to watch... I think you could maybe make the argument that if they weren't doing such fun/cutesy/refreshing concepts than maybe woonhak would fall off a little bit... but I don't think sooo... I think he's really good especially when u think about how youngggg he is like omg guys he's babyyyyy...¹¹

I feel like I didn't have any last notes.. sorry in the middle of writing this I got so distracted and watched 10million stages and now IDK what I was saying... um in the my only note is that they've had some really fun styling moments... for example I really liked the safari chic of these ewf outfits [with jh randomly giving ...DUNE], the hot summer outfits were Inspired (...), obviously very on-trend patterns and textures here ... okay I can't find it rn (EDIT: taesan's HEART pants!!!!), but generally they have some very interesting pants/patterns/cardigans and I Enjoy seeing it. and this is me being a pervert but I LOVE BOY KNEE AND LEGS... randomly feeling like this group esp is so suited for wearing shorts because they have such a boyish image and so it's like idk extra delightful because it's a strange level of perverted, like free shota but appropriate even IDK. like the same effect of sexified schoolgirl outfit¹² . ANYWAY. FIN.

I feel like I said nothing despite saying so much... umm... my bad </3... OH... my last final notes on self-production, I genuinely think having such an involved mentor in zico (also... genuinely, despite his multiple crimes, one of the Greats of kpop production) is The Way to go... also I'm re-listening to some block b to like make sure I'm kind of on the money ... and ohhhh my goddddddd Of Course They Sound Like That.... literally such a specific vocal direction style... :D

BIAS SORTER

... ...CAN WE PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT OF SILENCE TO PRAY FOR ME EVEN?¹³
TAESANNNNKITTYYYY
leehan, woonhak
sungho
riwoo

(...)

I feel like this is pretty on-par/on-brand for me... idiotbabypuppy ... beautiful guy with no personality ... uhh before I started watching, woonhak was very solidly in FaveLine because ummmm, what can I say I'm literally not immune to cutieness like... I'll get gotten for free... leehan is kind-of surprising, in that I really had nothing to say other than... 'Huh... What a weirdo...' but what can I say, it's grown on me, I like how he's just slightly strange always. sungho is ranking over riwoo just because he talks more. I kind-of have nooooooo impression of riwoo at allllll.... umm I guess I can talk about everyone else's impressions here because obviously... as is my style.. THE FUCKASS DOG WILL BE GETTING AN INSANELY LONG TAB FOR HIMSELF.... Anyway.

TAESAN

>literally my babyboosweetiedarling love you more!more!!more!!!
he is NOT a beautiful guy with no personality btw he is a beautiful guy who is kind of quiet and not very expressionful and somewhat stoic and that is making it seem like his personality [very direct and cute and streamlined to be focused on the things he likes/goals he has] is boring... IT'S NOTTT... it's like umm surface u think is opaque is actually translucent upon closer examination... if anything his personality is very straightforward...which lends itself to be kind-of plain maybe... but not reallyyyy....
I kind-of didn't even realise I liked him so much until I saw this clip and it made me SQUEEEEEE....... he's literallyyyy soo grumpy cat of all time ever... AND HE ISN'T EVEN GRUMPY...!!! he's just like randomly stoic-seeming and so cute about it... idk...
um he is extremely inscrutable to me... but also I'm under the impression he is literally leeknow and that's his whole thing...
well he's not um inscrutable it's just that he is always doing things in the most inscrutable way possible like... HAN TAESAN WHAT IS THIS!!!! ...tl;dr - mjh bangs his hand on a ledge, ts is like making fun of him the entireeee time but also covering up that corner with his hand and pressing down on it so mjh doesn't bump into it again even though it's kind-of like a moot-thing.... but also it is the cutest thing in the world too!!! he's just sooooooo... y'know? ...that kind of vibe...
I think he has, in the very kpop way, an 'artistic soul' which is also like, the tiktok ver of being a bisexual girl with a boyfriend, and he is both the boyfriend and the bisexual girl at the same timeeeee...!!!¹⁴ is that a good way to sum up his surface level interests and vibes in one go? no? welllll... his interests, which are genuine and true surely, are also like extremely 'aesthetic' which both adds to the image and makes everything you learn about him a >Yeah, That's Exactly What I Thought You Would Say.
genuinely I was so surprised that I hadn't run into an fob or atl reference from him or any of his members and then it turns out they sang atl time bomb during a karaoke one-off... LITERALLY WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WOULD DO!!!¹⁵
he's literally always like 'i'm so cold on the surface but actually i'm a loverboy even...' which I don't think is true. i literally don't think this is that true. WELL. I think he cares really deeply, but I think the more he likes someone the sharper his claws get as opposed to being ummmmmmm uncaring... he is kind-of the exact guy who the quote 'the opposite of love is indifference' is made for...
^^^and this is literally corroborated by him being the Prankster Jokes Member of all time he is literally always enacting emotional terror and damage onto everyone....
and also he Is A Maidennnnn ... [+ mjh making fun of him]
he has this really cute habit of always like... taking pics or videos [with him being the member that has the most photos of everyone] and this has led to Some Mishaps even... I think he is a little more [emotionally?] airheaded than his initial sharpness makes him seem... but all of that is part of taesan's cute image gap...
ANDDDD on top of all of that he is saauuuurrrrr beautiful and everyone died... finally a group where I can enjoy enhypen sunghoon visual without having to see enhypen.... <3 ...
i genuinely always laugh when i see him in but sometimes or just debut era bc the fuckass haircut was actively ruining his image even.. on the other hand the bleached blonde stripes + slight mullet is literallyyyyy giving everything like yesssschhh this is exactly the kind-of rockstar look you are always trying to emulate and beeeee.... idk it suits him so much <3
but his hair is naturally brown? so 1. I want to see it sooooo bad... but 2. this is litr really sad news for a guy who is a natural ravenette... like naurrr wayyyyy babe ur gothgf black cat aesthetic....
oh. he also has a really cute habit of gaysitting... which as we all know is like vernacular for being crosslegged on couches and or sitting on the arms instead of on the cushions... he's just very cute in those moments like lvl8000 moe charm to the maxxxx....
idk if I need to get into his like hs tiktok/self-prod song lore... mostly it's like YEAH... YOU REALLY ARE ARTIST WHO'S PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS... also he was such a cute high schooler... does that make me sound perverted? listen I don't mean it in any way other than my lovely baby taesannnn...
he kind of is so uncaring it's making him have no complexes in my eyes and heart but he definitely has umm... how to say... well it's clear that his dad had a huge role in shaping his taste and approach towards music... from the few interviews I've read, he speaks with a kind-of reverence almost? idk one of the biggest draws for me issss how serious it is for him... IDK I LOVE WHEN GUYS ARE PASSIONATE....
ohhhh... and he has some of the best proportions I've ever seen imo like his lankiness works so well with his energy and general vibe like everything is getting an A*** from meeee... finally a tallguy who is not at a loss for what to do with his limbs....

leehan

theeee fragile sickly dainty time-slipped victorian maiden of all time ever to meeeee... I was wondering, for the sake of a thought experiment, who the girl of the group was... and the answer was leehan due to him being The Maiden Sent To The Seaside... his eccentric fixations... the fact that you really could replace any austen protag with him and it would work... as mentioned previously he is giving autistic rizz too so in the end... We Love U Leehan<3 ... anyway I also saw this clip and it's literally like Oh Okay this is two women flirting Like I Understand Everything *frank ocean vc* my guy pretty like a girl
he's soooo much more nicer in his bluntness/quietness than taesan WHICH I'VE MENTIONED ALREADY... but it seriously is like he will be more strange in his random quips or actions, but always in a beautiful harmless fun silly jokes way<3
oh... he and mjh are the most cuddly I think of the group.... leehan is literally always trying to be horizontal ngl and if not he is hugging a pillow... just like mjh!!!
I kind of have so little to say because I have no other impressions of him... ummm riwoo's and his room set-up was so evil ngl I'm glad they've moved out idk how they lived like that .... though it was soooo cuuuuuteeee when he was like >I Miss Riwoo and then got sulky when riwoo didn't respond to his affections like YOUUUUUU ARE LITERALLY SENSITIVE MISS SEASIDE MAIDEN.... this part from this singles magazine? thing was sooo........... IT'S SOOOO CUUUTEEEEE LEEHAN DRAGGED MJH INTO THE BATHTUB SO THEY COULD HAVE SECRETIVE SPILL SESSION IN THERE... and then it ended in betrayal and disagreement anyway but this part was sooo cuuuteeee and schoolgirlsshoujoofalltimeever to meee.... also him saying 'i like fish because their blank eyes contain no evil' babygrrrlll you are sooo strange even... umm litr was dying at him wanting jaejoong to be his gf so bad like danggggg... okayyyyyy... jaejoong please calm down.....

woonhak

woonhak would kind-of be idiotbaby of the group but is saved by there actually being a worse, more idiot, more baby of the group.... and instead he gets to seem like slightly over-zealous excitable member who is cute and thoughtful and Not Causing Problems.... I kind of am under the impression that he is the axis that bnd kind-of revolves around bc if they have nothing to say to each other, they will Always Always have something to say about WOONHAK... because he ISSSS their cutieidiotbabie of all time everrrr...<3 <3 <3
like what is there to say! he's cute and charming and thoughtful and affectionate and endearing and excitable and reactive and mature enough and all of those in normal, well-received amounts that make him a very balanced and fun character!!! ...learning that he was an older sibling kind of blew my mind... learning that he was the baby of the group also blew my mind a little bit... since he is kind-of outstaging all of them sometimes...even...talented maknaes kind of cause me, an outside observer, so many problems...
it's honestly really cute how everyone complains about him so much but then also enable literally everything they complain about like wahhhh uwahhhh uuuuwahhhhhhhhh..... he really is your baby soooo much .... though it kind of must suck to be in bnd and not gaf about woonhak like that but mjh and ts are so annoying about it that u kind of have to care... O WELL NOT MY PROBLEM...
ngl sometimes their group dynamics are giving ummm... if it's sungho's task to keep the train moving, it is WOONHAK's job to make sure mjh is not being a problem ctfuuu...MORE ON THIS LATER obvs...

riwoo

BND STYLIST WHEN I FUCKING GET YOU... we could literally be living in a universe where we are profitting off of cute dainty dollface riwoo styling and instead we live In A Society... whatever... I don't even care... he's literally soooo cuuute when they give him bangs and nice eyebrows what are we doing!!!! litr what!!! are !!! we !!! doing!!!!
he is the pun-master wordplayer lvl8000 linguistic chess player of all time ever like ... bro chill... kind of extremely funny that he will only speak if he's thought of a pun and or to say something mildly placating.... very cute...
he also has like slight clueless?energy which is cute but you truly could not leave him with a camera alone to fend for himself....SOME OF US HAVE NOTHING TO SAY!!!!

sungho

cat member the first? he's mostly no nonsense and sensible and the voice of reason... when he has bangs he's quite beautiful eve
um i have even less to say but it is funny that he and taesan both give the least amount of fucks and yet one of them is keeping the home together and letting them continue on As A Society and the other is tae: san... kind of beautiful he's avoiding the mom of the group allegations by being emotionally absent and ONLY neurotically clean...
okay this man is obsessed with fifa... and unsuprisingly kind-of the most straightlaced? where he's always trying to keep the conversation going in a normal manner, commenting on how weird things are getting if he thinks they've deviated from whatever they're meant to be doing ... it's cute it's cuuuteee ... he is both attentive and As Susceptible To Getting Distracted as anyone else LOL <3

litr. sorry i had nothing to say about anyone except taesan...he's my perfect little cat... he's my goth gf that doesn't like anyone... he's everything even... everyone else is nice! very nice even!

THE MOE'EST MOE OF ALL TIME EVERRRR... NO.1 GUY WHO INVENTED BEING MOE...

GUYS LOOK AT MY FUCKING DOGGGGGGG......you have to understand this kpop boy got me sooooo bad... I was telling everyone on spacies that ummm I'm literally in my 'beautiful tier of mid-looking boys' era and you are free to agree or disagree but TO ME, mjh really is the latest iteration of that...

uh so truly the origin story of me going bnd Despite the >u gotta be bored out of ur mind< allegations [true] [litr not even false] was bc the ewf studio choom vid was showing up in my yt shorts and I didn't care. EXCEPT. the shorts with legwarmers outfit was SOOOOO CUUUUTEEEEEEEEEE and I liked it sooooo much and I think we should always be putting boygroups in legwarmers with shorts please please pleaseeeee..... anyway I was watching the vid like 'wow glad i don't know these guys bc i'd be so mad that my fave didn't get this outfit' ... little did op know....

ummm… it’s Not as serious as what was happening with beomgyu… it’s not Unserious either…actually maybe it is kind of serious... ok um sorry to mich but like after months of having to witness jebo stealing puppy valour for like … being a dog but not even being a dog like he’s just a very nice boy like I like jebo more than a normal amount but like you can’t just be Called Dog and have good manners or wme like you need the desperation and clinginess and Not saying that jeno doesn’t have that he just tends to hide it pretty well or not have it be like his main personality trait… anyway all this to say… MYUNGPUPPY REALLY IS ONE OF THE DOGS OF ALL TIME … I guess also I literally love yappydogs more than goodestboys but also jaehyun is Both which is the platonic ideal of what a perfect DOG should be…. Hes literallyyyy puppyyy everyone calls him puppy especially taesan who is Always On That but literallyyyyy like even when beomgyu was yappy dogs, he wasn't thissss much of like an archetypical dog mostly because he was independent and spiffy. mjh is really really Not That...
if beomgyu was the yappy variant of a hysterical girl ... and jeno is a very good boy ... myungjae is like um, straight up < always trying so hard to please > type where he's both like extremelyyyy tryhard and invigorated but also sooo clumsy and clueless ... he's like not self-aware enough, he's desperate af, he doesn't even know what he's doing half the time but his body is always responding anyway ... sometimes I look at him and I'm like omg... he's just Creature... he litr cannot keep still ever and he's sooooo distraction-pilled but he's also always doing his best to listen to instructions and be Good and in the end... he literally needs Constant Handling and Constant Pets and Constant um everything everrrr....
Um he kind of has very little complexes which makes sense because he is literally idiotbaby puppydog like uhhh literally why would he have problems that complicated even he cant comprehend that but...
he mentioned that he thought his impression would be 'bright immature and naive' and he was literally right... and then he did not correct anything in that statement other than 'I think I try to be brighter than I am so others won't worry' like Oh Okay so you agree with the idiotbaby allegations... but yes ofc u are exaggerating the act and overcompensating u r litr the Leader Member... TwT
Okay theres layers here though, because uh during unbelievable he was like ‘my superpower would be to calm people down’ because he gets scared when/if theyre mad at him and I was GONEEEE it was OVERRRR qnd then he was like ‘yeah I would simply suffer in silence and let myself get walked all over’ while taesan was right beside him going like ‘yeah idrgas’ LIKEEEE DANGGGGGGG
Ummmm ngl there are like normal amounts of insecurity that kind of peek through here and there but he is literally so well equipped to be dealing with it in that hes soooo beloved both by company and members No Matter What (...) also he's litr the most popular member+most booked/busy LOL...
turns out he was picked leader because he was the best at communicating and acting as a liasion between staff and members… Which is just a another beautiful thing but wait, the important moral to all of this is that he is ranked #6 in terms of status within the group and was ranked as the most teased/walked on member and it's soooooooo... it's not his fault he's kind-of perfect victim with way more obvious weakspots than wh.....
kind of theee mix of idols i've liked ever who should join the uhhh emotional support group for shygirls of ever.... and It makes me dieeeee but also is really cute like almost all of the time … he's also sooo easily startled like BROOOOO ... he needs to be under witness protection or custody or something omfg.... okay obviously he is also prone to like extreme and overexaggeration in some of his reaccs but also i do believe he feels everything at 200% intensity due this being his first life as a human having previously been a dog not to long ago even...
i think he’s kind of not like kpop-goodlooking but he is so cute and charming and soulful and like Zico’s spiritual successor it alllll makes sense even … idk i really do feel truly that they kind of curated theeee perfect kpop uke of all time ever for meeeee bc hes not even that twinky hes also not really a jock or anything hes juuuust BOYBOYBOY of all time even… I think it's literally the gapmoe of like, his kind-of gruff really Boy Boy Boy casual way of talking and reacting versus like the cuteness overdoes of how he goes about all of his mannerisms... it's soooooo sauuuuurrrr... like sure mx jooheon did it also [and also block b themselves], but also, Not Like This exactly even... idk some of the difference is that he's Babie... but most of the difference is that i think it's a cross of him being young and him being sauuurrr coquettish in the end anyway... or idk maybe the only difference is that HE'S
he’s kind of like um… slutty is not the word for it but it kind of is.... it's like some cross between lascivious ¹⁶ and slutty and flirtacious like he's all three and this is like Always on whether it's for stage or cameras or pics or weverse updates.... ngl it kind-of is off if he's being shy but then it's just true that umm How Do You Say, he legit mentions that he only flirts with people he likes!!!¹⁷
likeeeeee i don’t even think he’s that gay he’s just always flirting like that’s always On and never off and he went to allboys school his entire life so like who knows really ummmm… im not one of god’s sexuality detectives or truthers or anything I’m just like Danggggggggggggggggggg There’s No Way You’re Like This but also no way he’s not even…also one of the videos I linked was him with a fan... in fact have another one 1.THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN MEEEE, 2. it's awful he can be subtle about it too huh... though um, I also have a half-baked thought about how he doesn't know any fucking bg releases despite how new/old they are... v he can do a lot of new(?) ggdances quite accurately and with passion even... which is making me go hmmmm, so you only monitor ggs huh... or he could just straight up be gay whichever u want...
idk his natural instinct to flirt all the time and also be pawing for attention from everybody but especially woonhak which is kind of giving >Why Is Your Emotional Support Chosen Boyfriend (one-sided) 16 Years Old Even? Like whyyyy did u imprint on a 16 yr old ctfuuuuuuuuu…
he is kind of giving pathetic but extremely beloved ummmm theres this little montage of him making a mess and then sungho cleaning up after him a little while later that caused me TO DIE. As In I Died…. If u knew how I felt about BEING TAKEN CARE OF... but this is constantly happening with everyyyy member PLEEEK.... sungho 2, riwoo , taesan (2), leehan (2) ... we will be here all day if I have to start linking woonhak litr performing the herculean labour of having to deal with mjh being Babie Just Trust Me Bro
ngl his most MOE trait is that he's a CRYBABY... guys I fucking loveeeee those.... like pleeeekkkkkkk.... okay words can't describe how much he is an emotional delicate fragile glass-hearted flower who has the constitution of tissue paper... like... my god... okay um in this vlive his members come in half-way through to congratulate him and after that he's literally just GONEEEE... it's okay if you don't watch but he literally is holding riwoo's hand the entire time and being Extremely quiet and focusing only on tablet screen so he doesn't cry and then he goes around to hug everyone... like IT WAS SO OVERRRRR FOR HIM THE MINUTE THEY STEPPED IN.... he was litr like bawling without bawling... he tries so hard not to lose it the entire time but he's losing it regardless... and he kind of stops having vlive to have ummm crylive... and legit like 10mins?after they leave he pauses midvlive to send them a thank-you text.... YOU ARE SOOOOO TENDERHEARTED IT'S UNREALLLLLLLLL... sorry there are Literally No Words I Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee crybabies.... pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... pleaseeee I could link ummm every compilation I have seen of him crying but genuinely he just loses his shit at everything ... like he's cried every single time they won... he cried during a particularly sad performance... he cried when they debuted he cried when their staff thanked them he's litr just a guy who cries... and it's so cuuuuteeeee to meeeeeeee MYUNG JAEHYUN U R SOOOO TENDERHEARTED OF ALL TIME EVERRRRR.... genuinely I was watching that vlive and losing it...feeling crazed and insane... he's not even a pretty crier but it was beautiful and everyone Died...
there's this clip where like... it's simply revealed that he's also the easiest dog to train ever... which kind-of goes back to him pre-empting and being scared of anger/rejection but essentially when they switched dorms and he [messy idiotbaby] and sungho [neat and tidy!] moved in tgt he just immediately changed his habits and was like 'please feel free to train me i'll listen well' you are sooooo dogs it's unreal...
okay I already said that he's so easily startled and shocked and scaredy cat like... the most recent iteration being this: f though that's also revealing of how much he wants ummm... subnae recognition soooo bad like... there's a bunch of stories where he's essentially the overeager rookie/dongsaeng who is trying sooo hard to idk impress svt hoshi..... and there's also this: https://youtu.be/ViEiu2mrcX4?si=lsxoLx0Lm9AvNrjk litr my cutieful embarrassing son who embarrasses me andddd his group but WITH LOVE EVEN…
^I think is most representative of how he's shameless and confident and unbashful ... all interesting and lovely traits also... IDK it's kind-of the marklee thing where he can say the most cringe shit straightfaced because he Truly Believe 100% AlwaysOnThatGrind BeastMode Even... WTVS I LIKE IT IT'S CUTE... He Truly Believes So Much Even...
ummm icb i said he has no complexes when he is litr always so desparate and needful of attention and love and affection and pets... ig it's because he doles it out so easily too like it's very balanceddd in that sense... like this super recent ment where he highlights something every member has done for him... he is seriously so full of love u guys... yes most of the time it is full frontally directed at woonhak YES he loves everyone still also even...
idk he is literally Dog... also um literally assigning him no.1 physical touch guy of all time... he is always trying to cuddle or hold hands or otherwise his body language is super attentive to whoever is speaking... ;_; literally soooooo cuuuuuteeeeee....
he also has some really cute habits ... the most obvious one is that his mouth will always tilt one way more and i think it's usually to his left?so the viewer's right, which is the side of his face with the dimple... and he smiles and speaks and etcka with that tilt it's reallyyy cuuuuteee.... then, this is something he's done less frequently, bc it's not Great for the camera, but he'll throw his hands up to cover his face when he's shy or laughing/cackling and it's sauuur cuuuuteeee.... i mean this is not really a unique habit i know a few idols also do it but it's just cuuuute when he does it too okayyyy...
Ok i think this is also somewhattt of an age thing but i looooveeeee when bgs act cutesy/r ok woth being cutesy its so like annoying when they refuse to do even the barest of aegyos so whenever myungjae is laying it on really thick im like WAAAAHHHHH this is so beautiful and everyone cried and he is sooooo moe and soooo cuuuteeee

I think I'm finally done speaking... I probably have more to say but we can save that for LATERERERERERRRR...

um disgusting cw IDK

Listen I’m really bad at looking lasciviously at my faves so I truly have the seize the moment when I am not asexually looking at everyone and just GET IT OUTTT

… in saying that ... MYUNGJAEHYUN is literally theeeee kpop uke of all time ever to meeeee WHY IS HE SO ,!£;&:!;&;;!!::£¹⁸ ... literally you are dog and 0 and uke of all time aaaaaaaand it’s just on a personal like basic trait makeup way like he’s just um He needs attention to live basically but different from the beomgyu way like this kid needs to be pet 247 and is always awaiting instructions and kind-of never knows what to do when he's meant to be in charge of a situation... AND HE WAS LITERALLYYYY A CRYBABIE I LOVEEEE THOSEEEEE … i actually don’t know how this would factor into whatever it really didnt but now im like Ok if i think about it he would probably cry really easily at anything ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ngl obviously he wants to get manhandled i think he’s s even its just i think d/s would scare him and so would even like the lightest of s/m and most things along those veins ...HES A FRAGILE DELICATE LITTLE FLOWER OKAYYYYYY...

I kind of have nothing to say about everyone else WELL ACTUALLY I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY: TAESAN1, TAESANLEFT, HANDONGMINALPHADOMTOP, TAESANGONGNOSWITCHNREVERSE!!! ...okay now I don't have anything else to say. sungho is 1 also but not as seriously. lh/rw are both um middling imo. and also my agendas kind-of not interested in what they're doing outside a very specific dynamic so really please do whatever u want...

agendas
ummm ngl they made this bg out of my bl manga tastes kind of… like not well but the execution of something from my mind dreamscape really is there

taesan <> woonhak <> jaehyun

BRO DON’T ASK ME WHAT’S GOING ON HERE BECAUSE WHATEVER IS GOING ON… well I am investigating … kind of always giving THEEEE triangulation dynamics of all timeeeeee .... tj....myungtae... whatever the ship name is¹⁹ ... ...theyre obsesseddddd with this kid… which is funny because you can watch clips like this and come away totally feeling contrary but JUST TRUST MEEEEE....

okay, so to start off with ts and wh were the original besties who lived tgt at the company, and the mjh joined and lived on the upperfloor with them and they both became extremely close to him extremely fast (he was training with them for only a year?before they debuted...cwazy...) ... ts says that he became close with wh and jh the fastest, and something something, the Power of ENTPs... lawl.... I think something extremely cute and worth mentioning is TAESAN, litr theee black cattiest cat member of all time HAS A DOG and is a dog person!!!! like of courseeeee you are a huge fan of puppyline thennnnn... I think it's fair to say that these three are the closest among the group, just evidentially, but in terms of what they've actually said ... it seems mostly to be that ts<>woonhak are the closest and woonhak<>jaehyun are the closest... but circumstantially... well you're ALREADY A TRIANGLE first of all, secondly, if You Have Eyes... well... it's easy to draw conclusions...

so, taejae are (I think?) the biggest bnd ship... this checks totally and wholly on accounts of woonhak being A Babie, and also taesan being sauuur crazy beautiful and providing beautiful size difference ²⁰ and being perfect for semeification. but also. the interactions are there!!! please feel free to scroll through the qrts, but the interaction I will focus on is Taesan's Graduation...
tl;didn't click translate on every tweet in the thread... essentially...

>ts's parents couldn't make it to his hs grad
>mjh thought it was crazy sad and was like 'can i come instead then?' even though they both had work and were busy ;-;
>anyway he goes with ts to school, but there's about an hour before the ceremony starts so he's the only one there ...
>since everyone else was going to have their parents come, mjh wanted to look more like an adult and less like a 'hyung' so he wore a blazer [even though it was too cold for Just the blazer TwT] to make himself seem more mature ...
>he bought cake and flowers for ts, and waited at a coffee shop nearby for the entire hour
>then took photos for and with ts and said hi to all of his friends, and then they took photos together [BTW: ts has this thing where he won't try to take a good picture if he really wants to savour the moment and so they only have about 5~ selfies from that day]
>then they go back to the company, taesan is like 'wait. where are the flowers you got me?' BECAUSE HE LOSTTTT them somewhere!!! [airhead!]
>mjh is sulks about it obviously because he'd used up the last of his cash to buy him those...
>ts then buys them jjangmyeon to make up for it. anyway.
>they debut, half a year later, it's going to be mjh's birthday soon and ts like, spends a few(?) weeks teasing that he will be uploading a photo that will be worth 1000w essentially and capture the essence of Everything and wow people... something like that!!!

anyway... if that wasn't ummmm Everyone Died and Blew'd Up enough... WOONHAK IS THERE TOO... not in the actual episode but when taesan is like teasing it during a weverse, there's this little side tangent where woonhak is like 'oh oh oh I know what it is' and ts is like 'no u don't' and he's like 'no no I know' because he's the in-house tj expert even... anyway really cute and funny and despite everything and nothing and how much he's seemingly sick of these two, he does need to be inserting himself into their business...

anyway, every single video you'll ever watch of bnd has jaehyun hanging off woonhak like a limpet and saying vague confessional statements about how woonhak is his everything...he loves woonhak sooo much...woonhak is the cutest of the world... ngl what was truly like harrowing and hurtful and killing even was the 2023 mama awards where mjh dedicated his perf to and wrote the lyrics for woonhak.... I was like 'wow it's terminal (joking)' before finding this out and instead it's like um... Holy Fuck Um...(serious, harrowing, people died) ... as for taesan, he is literally no.2 offender of Always Bringing Woonhak Up no matter How Unrelated woonhak is to the situation... ummm unfortunately there is not as beautiful and killing documentation for these two BUT J U S T T R U S T M E it's real af.. also, and this could be my delusion from my mind where I made up taesan being mildly untouchy, but he is cuddly af with woonhak... and that's What Matters....²¹ ... WAIT MY ACTUAL REAL PROOF: TS USING THE GREETING DEMONSTRATION TO KISS WOONHAK LIKE 4 TIMES.... guys this one is actually so fucking cute everyone dieeddddd... which is so cute bc the rest of them don't even dooo it esp not woonhak when he answers it...

anyway... some more things to chew on re/... puppy^2cat... that's what I will be calling them in lieu of their 'official' unit name... okay I already linked one of these before but here's my perfect trifecta of puppy^2cat relay...

>mjh pulling ts in for his last ment
>mjh pulling in wh for his last ment on children's day
>ts pulling wh in on stage for his last verse (ok woonhak is running into his arms here BUT...)

i'll be honest... if u didn't crylaughdie from cuteness overload u don't have a heart... or any emotional attachment to these guys ig... but I feel like it's showcasing all of their differences so cutely and lovingly... mjh slightly overbearing embarrassing presence taenyangie being grumpy cats of all time because he was extremely unprepared and did not like it... woonhak being initially caught offguard and mad at being called out for children's day but also being sauuurrr cute and receptive still... taesan catching woonhak and not letting him go... always so so cuteee... also this clip(again) where WH WILL NOT RUN AWAY FROM U BRO U CAN LET HIM GO!!! stopppp they looooveeee him they love himmmm...

but also its really cute that all three of them?just speak casually to each other … I’m pretty sure taesan drops the hyung every now and then when he talks to jh WMEEEE ITS CUUUTEEEEE I LIKE IT and its also disrespectful and a little callous and super casual and just generally reflective of taesan’s somewhat careless exterior cold attitude towards otherssss.. IDK they have super cute dynamics...

uh assorted discord mssgs/tweets²² :

though acrually more importantly I wohld literally underdtanf that myungtae is a two person ship with three people in it WOONHAK LITERALLYYYY HAS TO BE THERE

in the end taesun/woonhak/jehyun triangulation is litr so beautiful what do u mean lifeless deadface emotionless unaffectionate bitchy cat’s two favourite members are the emotional sensitive maidenhearted crybabies of the group NAUUURRRR THATS SO CUUUUTEEEE
its so cuuuute and funny that woonhak and jaehyun will go through the Extreme Highs and Lows of Being In Group where u r the butt of the joke 100% of the time versus taesan who is magnetically attached to either one of them be like :| :| :| the whole time
they r litr giving >Taesan learns to be a normal human person maybe just a little bit

wait ummm seriouslt deeply beauriful and heart touchinf wven that the most deadfaced bitchy cat emotionless member is extremely attached to nd has deep favouritism of the two most sensitive emotional affectionate guys in the group … WHO ELSE SMILEDDDD
I think its because woonhak is also taesan’s favourite but u just can’t tell bc taesan literally sooooo bad at looking like he gives fucks but ITS BEAUTIFUL WHEN U DO SEE IT (he likes to pet woonhak)
and in the end it must be said its really funny that if its ts/wh tgt than they seem like two close friends v with wk/mjh are literally giving nice guy and this over excited puppy who won’t leave him alone
Ummmm anyway everyone look away this is sickos moment but it really is giving maknae on🔝 which is funny bc hes probably one of the mostttt normal maknaes ever like no complexes or anxiety or anything hes like at a normal level of talent gets good amounts of lines everyone likes him his whole group loves him but mostly a normal amount Theres just two guys in there who are a little weird

anyway some more assorted momence of all time:

>ummmm lit. in the practice vid where they do yaja time and literally all of them are being sickos and having the time of their life calling woonhak hyungggg like … Ok…. calm down … hornyforhonorifics8000 okay dangggg… this is litr among the mosttt animated u will see taesan ever... cuuuuuteeeee
>singles korea where they're asked 'who do you want to nag the most' and everyone else points to woonhak but taesan is hovering between them
>jaehyun talking about the hierarchy within their group and ts is no1 while him and wh are the lowest rung
>on that line of thought.... THIS PRANK? they're BOTH sooooo mean to him.... WHY DID THEY DO THAT TO HIM THEY KNOWWW HE'S LITERALLY MORE SUSCEPTIBLE AND STUPID THAN 90% OF ALL PUPPIES...
>okay they have this on-going neverending bit where they (plus lh) will act like they have raised woonhak and are always making his bed and brushing his teeth and hair and putting his clothes on for himm... and it's litr sooo cuuuuuteee...
>this is like me misreading the moment even because it's so ambiguous but when jh literally starts crying during their perf and goes to hug woonhak as like ts is presumably?walking towards them but doesn't even join but IS pouting in the bg ..... haksanjae triangulation u are everythinggg
>this video which is just cuuuteee just Three Chicks....
>ok this weverse where ts and wh are making sure that mjh doesn't cry while mjh is also trying to make sure wh doesn't cry(?) litr sooooo cuuuuteeee. DID EVERYONE DIE? I sure did....
>this set of pics of wh and mjh are sooo cuuute everyone dieddd... and here's a matching thread of haksanhwe pics...
>okay also in taesan's lee mujin's service ep he mentions that 1TYM is one of the bands he likes, and lmj is super surprised by that bc the song he sang was litr released before he was conceived LOL... AND if u check woonhak's spotify playlist, there's a couple of 1TYM songs... so it could mean nothing or something even.... No Matter How You Look At It.... it could be ts's rec even.. LOL.. isn't that cuuuuteee to think about...

yeah okay we can get into the tj zone now...

>no one is clicking my 20million links but a keen reader will realise that in the compilations of mjh being a scaredy cat ... HAN TAESAN IS LITERALLY THE MAIN PERPETRATOR... he's soooo mean it's unreal... guys taesan is sooooo mean..... and it is 90% always at the expense of mjh or wh (though he also compliments wh way moreeeee i think...)
>so ts is litr no.1 myeongmungie activist of all time... this is kind of my favourite clip of this... essentially ts said he met a dog and took pics with it, and mjh was like 'u should upload them (picture with a puppy)' and ts is like Oh?picture with a puppy and that's the clip... and it's sooooo cute u can see mjh immediately start sulking... [and lh and ts both petting him]
>the diif/rence between ts and mjh, (2) ... also like... i mentioned this previouslyyy but they are literally opposites in how they approach emotions and this story of them fighting last yr october really is soooo... 'usually mjh approaches him first but sometimes ts will initiate' (...) you guys are soooo rife for emotional angsting it's crazyyyyy... and YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW! NO MATTER WHAT. WOONHAK WILL BE THERE... mfw u have joint custody of a best friend <3
>OH... on that note... my godddd I can'ttt remember where I saw it but there's this one ment where mjh is like >YOU WILL GET YOUR FEELINGS HURT IF YOU TRY TO GET CLOSE TO TAESAN!!!!!BUT YOU SHOULD TRY ANYWAY !!!! and sungho is like >Are You Sure You Mean That, and mjh just repeats it Louder with more dedication likeeeeee!!!²³ (...) wow you litr were the guy who got ur feelings hurt in trying to approach him >///< (...) he also mentions the first time ts complimented him was 6~ months after their debut nooooooo omfg... it's so bad for them...
>this really funny tweet of a kfan looking at their children's day pics and saying mjh was poor as shit... HELLO? ... also ts literally was the andrognyous girl child of all time...

ANYWAY LAST AGENDA²⁴ I PROMISEEE...

all재

I feel like I've already linked 85493583490000 images and videos that literally should be making One Think... in the end this is the first and only time I've believed (a) harem could work, (b) all_LEADER ship is realistic and possible even ... and that's just what happens when you are ummm literally picked as leader because you have the highest eq and best communication skills [sungho despite being defacto leader would've been much stricter as actual leader i think...] ngl I've been like rotating this in my mind the entireeee time because in every vid somehow someway some is taking care of mjh because he kind of just has innate um... idiotbaby phermones that make u go >Ah I should look out for him ... ik i said they were all connected by um love for babying woonhak but they are also all connected via need to take care of their stupididiotcutie leader even.... anyway I truly think everyone likes him independently of each other and each of his ships lh/mjh, rw/mjh, sh/mjh all have beautiful potential ... ok wow this is kind of giving the most nothing note of all time ummm...

basically, I always have problems with the 'and everyone loved and apprieciated their leader sooo much' narrative because SOME MEMBERS KINDA DGAF ABOUT THEIR LEADER... sorry... it's less true for smaller groups because there's way more leeway for everyone to have meaningful 1:1 interacts with each other... and it works out for bnd because their leader is litr the Emotional Heart of the group too like.... mjh kind of is always overflowing in love and care and will always be flirting With Everyone indiscriminately...<3

ASIDE FROM THAT.. i also usually hate harem so bad bc like...almost all of the time it is giving polymary or other guys have umm deeper more interesting relations that should like counteract the uhhh potency of haremmemberXmaingirl... however bc sh/lh/rw are all so lowkey and chill... it is literally always looking like mjh is their best ship just because he's so loud about it!!! like... whatever homoerotic best friendship is happening with rw/lh is never going to be acted upon ever BUT mjh will probably kiss lh right on the mouth if their game of gay chicken ever progresses far enough to allow it LOL... ummmmmmmmmmmmm listen both sh/mjh and rw/mjh are the same ship to me it's just... sungho is more prissy and stressed about it while riwoo is taking it in stride even...

so in conclusion, my views don't represent my views... this is all fun and jokes except for when it's serious and real... And Um, sorry even, i guess.

FOOTNOTES

¹unfortunately bnd has literally led me to to those places anyway. the place in q being zb1 shb who is mc-ing with mjh rn even on mnet!! and theyyy have beautiful shippy interaccs too..[+ later in the vid the diff in how clumsily mjh feeds shb v shb feeding him...AAAAH... guy who's a dog v guy who's a trainer]^{^}
²this was kind of totally accidental I thought I was over kpop and they literally justttt took renjun out to the back to shoot him, so it was looking soooooo dire for me and my stanism but ummm... literally the evil of [SCHOOL] had been defeated and I am a little free so Why Not?^{^}
³literally umm... baby play video where he's in the checkered yellow jacket... it was such a datedddd look and also like beautiful crazy resemblance to some 2014/15 era jungkook look somewhereeee^{^}
⁴because, and I quote: "I cant immediately makw the lino connection bc he is like immediately so much more talwnted SORRY TO LEE KNOW" (typos preserved)^{^}
⁵inb4 they reveal, like 2-3-5~ yrs from now that they hated each other at debut LMFAO...^{^}
⁶inb4 we learn that ummmm this was image assigned to him at debut that is not at all reflective of his actual personality^{^}
⁷three people. and myself obviously.^{^}^7*like... am i not supposed to like blobkb spinoff group? the most famous kpop tweet of all time to me is 'when will zico collab with block b' [which...is....actually a tumblr post?...]. anyway i was literally op retweeting and reblogging this every other day...^{^}
⁸sorry to zico but MINO is winning this one... or I mean idk... maybe zico is winning it.. do you know who's losing it though? SKZ FELIX... he wishes he could do that lowdeepgrowly voice/high light singing/speaking voice transition so quickly/flawlessly/talentfully LOL....^{^}

⁹also I said tbz had good talent distribution the other day [as in a good ratio of members who are good at different things + averagely talented filler guys] and got booed so like... who's to say that I have a grip on these things^{^}
¹⁰okay, either I'm overestimating the average talent of rookies or underestimating bnd's average talents... I really do think one of the main draws IS that they're really good and make good music and can sing even... so in the end... who knows... idk I'm compensating for an attempt at objectivity...^{^}

¹¹he's 2006z and which makes everyone else 20+ and ngl I truly do believe that graduating high school and taking time to become somewhat well-rounded singers have truly helped their group cause overall...^{^}

¹²YES I'M SORRY I'M LITERALLYYYYY OP WHO LOVES SCHOOL UNIFORM CONCEPTS....well only when thhey're kind of sexified or personalityfied... there was litr a convo in tw3 about how ummm if we want to talk about kpop sexualisation of minors or wme we need to abolish hip thursting in school uniforms... and I was there like... nooo....i love school uniform....^{^}
¹³YES IT'S THE FUCKASS DOG WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT IT'S LITERALLY ME, OP, FWCU WHO ELSE COULD IT BE.^{^}
¹⁴ from my tw3 thread: 'just saw jaehyun get called edgelord bisexual when TAESANNNNN IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE… he does not have a record player in his room with his favourite bands being like mcr and the who or wme for no reason!!!! / i mean I guess they could Both be edgelord bisexuals but its kinda only one way sorry [redacted] and LEAGUE? WHEN THEYRE A FIFA HOUSEHOLD? icantttt this is character assassination even….' them being a fifa household is also hugely funny to me and I UNDERSTAND EVEN DUE TO BEING IN OOMR'S CHELSEA MINES...^{^}
¹⁵OK technically taesan picked whatever by oasis which he's mentioned multiple times as one of his favourite songs which also deeply informs literally all of his musical sensibilities and his taste and, Listen, if you know anything about taesan like. Yeah, of courseeeee this is your favourite rock song of all time!!! anyway. it was leehan who picked atl time bomb but it was taesan who sang along to it most passionately even...^{^}
¹⁶OP IS CALLING HIM A WHORE IN THAT CAPTION BTW.... MY POOR BABYYYY^{^}
¹⁷ this is kind of corroborated with how he's soooo shy when he meets um new people kind-of... like in um the nctdream waiting room live, it's kind of unrecognisable that that's mjh being so awkward and tiny in the corner when he's litr like ... [any svt interaction but specifically telling hoshi 'horanghe' in an elevator filled with people?!]^{^}
¹⁸Okay I know I kind of said this about beomgyu and surely I said this about renjun and i definitely harboured these sentiments towards joshua of seventeen even but actually none of those guys are even um Any level of what this guy is… also i feel like i kind of maintained and I Believe They Could Lead if Asked fronts for all of the above... um... not mjh... or actually I don't even believe that part of being a perfect 0 to me is like switchOK like i believe he could top... but could he lead? one must ask...^{^}¹⁹not indicative of ship order, bc I'm not that much of a pedant... though I should be probably... ship order is catdog. if that wasn't clear. noswitch noreverse obviously. what am i gonna do? not love prettyboytop?^{^}

²⁰JSYK ... woonhak has lit. outgrown jaehyun within 7months post debut and jh is now 2nd smallest but u cant even tellllllll unless hes doing expat activities versus ummmmmmmmm its literally sooo [drool emoji] see him with riwoo bc he will be taking every opportunity to outsize him in wtv way like he just physically blcked the guy from leaving and its just WELL… Dont Mind If I Do^{^}

²¹okay I literally went through like uhh taehan_zip [which i think is the 2nd most popular ts ship] to make sure this is somewhat valid... and the most similar thing I could find was this ... anyway there's a drastic amount of way less skinship OKKKKK [also true for kkeomchizip though that's not a ship acc so...]... also I bring up ts is litr not touchy because MJH!!! goes out of his way not to like be too skinshippy with ts even though he is indiscrimately always trying to get pets or wme... no I don't know what's going on there but I kind-of assumed it's Most Likely that ts is not cuddly and mjh has high eq and recognises that even...<3 sorry for sounding crazy ummm it's baseless af assumptions central here... ^{^}

²²of questionable accuracy and My Views Don't Represent My Views-esque takes ... like I was in the process of cooking, some could say I have yet to finish cooking, let's all just wait it out...^{^}

²³and right after he says he wrote the mama rap for woonhak so it's always something with these three' (from disco livereacc thread) ... MAN... ...^{^}

²⁴sorry this is sooo cute I kind of have to mention it ummm videos that make you Think even...^{^}

comments

movie watching

2024-03-10T06:37:07Z

I am one of god's movie watchers even...! isn't that so exciting... recently have realised I like when movies that are good and not bad, and so, if a movie is Good I will like it... turns out, most blockbusters are bad. 1/3 of oscarbait movies are worth it. the other 3rd are biopics. the last third are decent and fun and rompy. I like movies when they are easily dissectable I think. watched: sense and sensibility [but like months ago], all of us strangers, past lives, the holdovers, anatomy of a fall, american fiction.

every movie has a guy who's a lesbian in it

sense and sensibility
>this movie has Every British person ON EARTH.... you're like omgggg Nanny McPhree and Rose Titanis.... and then the fucking MOM from SUCCESSION? you're like, okay, that's Enough famous people. BUT NO. FAKE HOUSE MD FROM HOUSE IS THERE AND THEN REAL HOUSE MD FROM HOUSE IS THERE TOO!!! BOTH OF THEM!!! and at this point, you're really like, surely there's a cap on famous british guys... FUCK ASS SEVERUS SNAPE IS THERE!!!
>this movie made me realise... that really and truly... okay 1) jane austen is always going to be like... And Beautiful Effervescent Youthful Maidens should always marry FUCK ASS OLD MEN!!! 2) i'm so austen movies are sooooo good and I will always prefer them to the books, I'm sorry!!! I'm uninitiated! i need the fucking, victorian readers' guide, I'm sorry!!! I don't understand her wit or her charm but I love her movies!!!

all of us strangers
>I made um, sib watch this with me... so I could not enjoy the sex scenes and will watch again just because well... YOU KNOW... as always paul mesco is the star of the show forever and forever TO ME. everytime you're like >why would some guy fall in love with them, and then you watch and you're like >IM IN LOVE WITH HIM!!!!! genuinely suuuuchhhh a charming actor, he's so fucking AAAGGGHHHH!!! paul mescal!!!!
>anyway he and andrew scott have crazy chemistry; uhm this movie is exaactly what it promises to be and not much more or much less....
>I don't think it's incredible, but it was nice. i think it had this choice between [gay loneliness, ideation, fantasy] and [hopeful, growth, moving forward] where w/ the former, it would just affirm and echo the themes of the movie and drive them in all the harder and stake you, and the latter would be bittersweet, but hopeful, it would promise a start, y;know. and it makes it's choice, and it's very understandable why it does what it does, because again, both would ring true to the story that's being told. it did hurted though.

past lives
>greta lee is so beautiful, I was truly so captivated by her face and how she's just so much more beautiful in motion than in photos...
>teo yoo is such a good actor, haesung's body language throughout the fucking movie did so much of the work in communicating the character where his words didn't... I'm miffed! he didn't get any nominations, because he's definitely one of the standout performances, if not The Stand Out.
>I was complaining to my roommate [and really, anyone who would listen] about the [diaspora] narrative versus the [immigrant] narrative, and how
I really do hate the diaspora narrative for how much it assumes victimhood, and this lack of choice, and you know, it panders, I think, To White People, and it affirms in many ways, The White Narrative (...) which is why I was sitting there slackjawed when this was the story that her white husband was recounting as The Story of Them. and then why me and oomr agreed vehemently and with love, as Nora asserts the importance of her choices, that these were all her decisions, that she is the active force in her own life that enacts the changes she chooses, that it was an Immigrant story. idk it was really good. it was really really good.
>there's a lot of implications and threads in the narrative that I cannot list down, just that it is absolutely the kind of love story Made For Me. I was like, thinking of this story, and then looking at the 4rl ao3 works page, and then looking at the screen. and going like What The Fuck. one has to be like SHOUTOUT TO ARTHUR. IF I WAS AT THAT BAR, I WOULD'VE KILLED MYSELF. crazy fucking scene.

the holdovers
>movies about um nothing.... NOT IN A BAD WAY THOUGH... it is like, the least depressing of the academia/misfit movies I'm pretty sure... every single type of lesbian imaginable is in this movie and that is the best part
>I think what gave this movie the most merit to me, was how it handled race, racism, etcka without ever being about racism. it was so intentional in what it showed and what roles the black characters on screen played, and how black people appeared... and I just feel like it actually did it's due diligence, without forcing any of the black characters to be Victim to Hate Crime or Reduced To Race/Skin Colour/Etc, they were allowed to exist on screen just as people with their own stories, all while refusing to ignore how hugely race played a role in the background/time period...! really cool. I hope Da'Vine Joy gets her laurels and the oscar, she FUCKING KILLEDDDD it.
>in the holdovers, the camera is always trying to Hold You At A Distance, and it's asking you to consider the bigger picture always, and how these characters Don't Fit into it. there's this disconnect with the subjects, between the subjects, etc etc, it's also very... retro? but with purpose.

american fiction
>we actually watched this after anatomie, but I'm saving best for last.
>OMG. the movie about Race and Racialised Narratives and What White People Want To Read... And Hear.... And See....
>because of what it is, it's forced to be understated, and it does a really good job of working within the confines. there's like... i think it's almost camp-y... it's very much what barbie kind of envisioned itself as... it has some really good observations, and some really good jokes. I don't think it's incredible, by any means, but I think the cast went kinda crazy...
>Jeffrey Wright was really good in this role, and I think ... BEING AN ACADEMIC, LIVING WITH AN ACADEMIC, OBSERVING VARIOUS ACADEMICS, idk he did a really good job just nailing you know, a guy who is both undramatic and yet has thoughts! again. really really good observations made throughout the movie. i think they must have done a really good job adapting the book and also, furthering some of the scope to translate into film.

anatomie of a fall
>lit. the best movie of all the oscar offerings, I will be so mad when oppenheimer wins over this... movies that touch on everything. women/men/sexism/femininity/masculinity/presentation/roles/the academique/authors/fiction|reality divide/how much of you bleeds into your work/truth/subjectivity/what makes a story/victimhood.... LITERALLY A MOVIE ABOUT EVERYTHING!!! and it did all of those things well!!! or, at least I thought so.
>it was really interesting to watch this after holdovers, because they use the camera/film so differently... anatomie is so intimate in how it shoots, all the close-ups, the little shakes, the way the camera is always asking you to look closer, dig deeper, think about what it's showing you. the way shots sweep and change as the lawyers go back and forth and ask the court to look at this from a different angle, consider now, from a different perspective, is the picture not different? just GORGEOUS imo.
>in the end... A Movie For Me? absolutely. godddd.... I loved the um, way it told the story of a 'modern woman' ... the division of domestic labour, sandra's attitude, her job, the kind of person she was, a woman can be a man and is still a woman, and you know, a man will still be a man. I love the careful way they presented sexism and assumed attitudes and viewpoints and also just, who represented who in court, and which side brought out women, which side brought out men, the kinds of men we saw.... IDK IT WAS SO GOOD AND SO CAREFUL ABOUT IT!!! and ultimately, it was a little crazy to watch this with my roommate, at one point, I turned to her and I was like, 'My god, if a man watched this, he would think this is reasonable,' and it's true. or maybe, it's not! I think it set expectations, played with expectations, and worked with expectations really well.
>oomr's gf was telling her she found it unsatisfying because the answer isn't clear, but I don't feel that way at all... i mean, in the first place, the movie was not about 'the' mystery, it was about how we see victimhood, the court, the trial; what we construct to be the truth or the story from what we know. you have all these limited viewpoints, and you know, one of those limits is literally made physical via daniel's blindness. one of those limits is language, which is fucking damning for a writer, no? IDKKKK...it was so good!!!
>there's like this note, too, of um how it cuts through between regular movie footage, to footage taped for the trial, into like, news footage, and I don't know... i do not have an overarching thing to say about that, only that it also added another dimension to this idea of like: >who tells the story like what, and it does such a good job to highlight biases as well as, this terribly As It Says moment, where you have these interviewers from a tv clip, discuss what is the best story, and how that is what decides innocence. which, this terribly on the nose moment, where you as the viewer, are confronted with this Very Real Takeaway on whether or not you think sandra is innocent or not!
>I feel like I have so many good things to say about this movie, and I don't know if I can list them all. I do know I want to rewatch it as soon as possible. I also know, that, uh, my favourite moment is the restaurant scene where you can see vincent, playing the innocent maiden, have his heart crushed by sandra's cold, dismissal. and i mean. I think that scene is so crazy. if you know lesbiana like that, just look at how they wear their respective shirts.

comments

PARA social

2024-02-07T01:09:21Z

I just feel like we really did have a golden moment in online community where you could essentially, gossip, about other people whether they be BNFs or mildly famous celebs and speculate about their lives et all... but this is also coming from someone who like really got their first taste of privacy-infringement via danandphil tumblr circles... like you had to work your ass off to find the vday vid sure, but you could find it... well, it was a weird blurry place, and it wasn't like super-ethical by any means, but it wasn't like so abhorred the way it is now.

I think this is also because of how unprivate everything is now... which i guess i mean like, people search for this shit now, solely, and if only, to just point it out and go: LOOK. THIS IS SO BAD. WHY IS SOMEONE DOING IT. like, it's ostensibly got the same amount of privacy as posting on any public platform does, but now there's like Thought Police crawling around. and ALSO. people hate being approached, or talked about, or what have you, because it's always an invitation for some kind of abuse rather than just. mfw i'm discussing just for the sake of discussion and it's a fun little thought experiment for me. GOD FORBID it has unintended consequences I did not ask for nor want... like I love and have completely misappropriated the term 'thought experiment' over the last couple years because I am famously like The Moralist of All Time. to me criticism, and blunt language is like Fair Game and has no bearing on how I actually feel about whatever entity As A Person or what have you. like, some of the guys I want to talk about in this post, I have no stakes in, some of the guys I really like their work but that has not impacted my feelings of them As A Person and thus are not free from my scrutiny and 'criticism', some of these guys, I truly believe that we are tethered and would possibly be soulmates and/or dating if not for my extreme aversion to being any kind of public figure, etcka etcka, Like everything is possible. all is free game. the last guy I probably don't really have anything bad to say, but to some, describing a guy as: 'I fear socks maidenly charm and visual can only be understood by those who can accept that he's uglycute... like the beautiful tier of mid-looking boys.' is hateristic and even a little mean. BRO I LITERALLY THINK HE IS PRETTY AND HAVE BEEN BEWITCHED BY WHAT I BELIEVE TO BE A SNOW_WHITE_ESQUE VISUAL like chill. learn how to read even.

anyway. here's wonderitfuckall.

1. dishtuonto
here are some links for your perusal:
https://x.com/companiondish/status/1754726185022726253?s=20
https://x.com/Tuont0/status/1735615178547556756?s=20
https://x.com/Tuont0/status/1735467296699904434?s=20

here are some things I have said about some of these links:

"Anyone on this thread thinking about tuonto cucking dish’s husband" [12/14/23, 8:51 PM]
"i want the cheating divorce scandal gate so badddddddd I JUST WANT IT SO BAD...." [02/05/24, 11:44 PM]
"i think my only thing is that she isn't even that much older than him WORLD STOP EXPLODEEE if she was actually 30+ and he was just 20something... my dreams.... my delusions..... this lit. happens to hollywood celebs so much and also academics so why not TwitchStreamers...." [02/05/24, 11:46]

now. I wouldn't actually care. however the woman pictured [dish], is MARRIED. so, now, it's like immediately soooooo sexy and crazy and fucked up and erotic and there's Layers. part of the appeal is that tuonto is kind of like, the token yumejosh pick of the genshin streamer crop [i saw him irl and he is... My Height...] ... so it really is like the classical younghotpoolyboy x milf set up, except not at all... but I assume both have the same intrinsic appeal... and I really really really do want cheating/scandal/divorce gate because imo IT IS CRAZY if you and your married, some years older female coworker [who is also kind-of ur friend, and somewhat of an older sister role] are the Company-pushed CP/duo/what have you... like that's.... HUHHHHH? I didn't know we worked like that... I don't really have any opinions on either of these people as individuals or streamers, I don't watch either, but it's also just compelling because they both have very clean, soft/comfort/etcka esque images.... but also. you have to be sick in the head quite a bit to be a streamer. For Example, Zy0x is a leo. so, the potential is there. I just hope God makes my twisted sick dreams come true.
+I guess I have to point out that they're straight which is what makes it more appealing... like, queerbait doesn't hit anymore because everyone is doing it on purpose rather than because there is a genuine friendship there... it's a marketing scheme now...[tuonto has done it with both ant and socks... and one was more believable solely because socks is actually bisexual and had a girlfriend at the time so they were 100% just being genuine with the jokes and friendship and flirting rather than the entire corporate shill of soulless bait that was ant/tuonto... anyway...] ... anyway, somehow we've circled back to the territory of like BoyXGirl is the safer more mysterious tenuous connection that no one would suspect of being romantically or otherwise involved, because everyone has to be a little gaybaity if not sexless if not errr.... Married. which is what dish is. ANYWAY. I'm saying it's more compelling because they're actually friends, and also think theyre 'safe' against accusations and scrutiny [and like, in many ways, They Are, I am but One Sicko amongst 1million normies][but isn't that so crazy that's how like BoyxBoy dynamics used to work... where they could get away with all the shippy stuff and constant pairing Because No One Would Think..ANYWAY]

2. WHATSGOINGONGUYSASIANGUYHERE
this shit is making me so sad frankly... essentially the genshin streamer sphere blew the fuck up because of the usual suspect, tectone, and then atsu caught stray [actual] hands because he was accused of like gatekeeping and blocking opportunities for smaller ccs... and the guy who accused him was legit, and I cannot make this up, someone I had blocked because their tweets kept showing up on my tl, and my last straw was literally this tweet they'd made about how like their video numbers were unfair ... and I was like: What if you just made Good Videos? What about that? ....and then like, atsu's entire response to him was to accuse him of having bad vibes and being annoying and being preoccuppied with numbers... SO LIKE, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, I'M READING THIS AND I'M LIKE... he's not even wrong though. anyway, so then everyone started jumping atsu, even though I Personally Feel, as though it's fucking fine to dislike a guy ... and this is where the moralism comes in like.... bro every industry is going to be sorta nepo no matter What, and I personally see no problem with having Less White Creators platformed, esp. for a game like genshin...where it is always the white ccs being mildly racist in some way or another.
there were other aspects of the issue which I thought fully justified atsu's points and behaviours, with the most obvious one being that: Genshin is an unbearable fandom. so you are always intensely apprehensive of any and every single person who approaches you. esp if you are someone who thinks for themselves, whether correctly or incorrectly, it's unbearable. obviously, he's not allowed to say this because he's a CC. but. imo his actions were quite justifiable, even the asshole move of like editing brax out of what was clearly a photo meant to be ONLY of his friend group. like, absolutely, he's some level of asshole. he is an asshole. I just don't think that's 'cancelable' grounds. and I think what pisses me off the most is that the people who are dogpiling onto him are doing so by giving credence to like, these racist sexist white guys who have previously been 'wronged' by him...
there was this other tweet that accused atsu of creating an unfriendly unwelcoming atmosphere in the genshin CC space, and like, as someone who only finds ONE genshin creator bearable to watch... that's not actually on him. it's on genshin CCs for being the most unlikeable people on this earth in general. like. I promise you it was because your content was bad, and not because like, mr.AsianGuyGenshin hated you personally. like it could've been. sure. but I think this greater mindset of like [it's Never Me, it's always Something Greater Bigger Other that's the Problem] ... please. 1 critical thought.

okay that entire spiel made me sound like an atsu-warrior... which, sure, fine. why not? it's true a lot of the stuff that's proveable, is that he's an asshole. but this is not something he hasn't made astoundingly clear about himself. he's very honest in how he presents himself, and that's not some dramatic reveal. the stuff that's more suspect about him having like purview over genshin cc opportunities, that's suspect, but I still don't think that it makes the amount of backlash he's gotten justifiable. esp, you should not be calling an asian man 'RATsu', like be soooooo serious rn. yeah, but uh, because he's had some bad takes before, he should be hung and killed and whatever. AND ALL THIS BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE TWO WHITE GUYS. be so serious. I don't know I think it's just very frustrating, and I guess I'm a little focused on the racial aspects, but it's ... the creators he hangs out with and associates with are all POC with the exception of basically 1 person [dish]. and so, if he's gotten these people opportunities, over like, a white guy... Whatever. I respect the grit. sorry I just don't believe you can commit crimes against white people unless they are like personally my friends or people I like. but even then.

3. an author by any other pseud
if I find an author on ao3 i really like, I will be reading through their entire catalogue if I can reasonably understand it... of course, the next step is like, find the guy's twitter and be extremely disillusioned by how much you don't like them. anyway. let's call this guy uhhh, sword. sword has made me realise one thing about white people and it's that They Love Whump. They Love Angst. They Love Self-Centered Tragedy. or I guess that I don't know they're white, but it wouldn't be surprising if they were. I suppose then, that's my point about anyone entrenched into white/western/individualist/catholic/christian culture. the way they treat 'suffering' as the Point. it's entertaining to read, I think, they're a very strong writer, but I found myself uncomfortable at the extent to which they would 'woobify' or ONLY focus on the suffering of their faves in their fic, to make the endgoal of like Getting Them Fucked In The Ass all the more sweeter... and again, they're a good writer which makes it easy to like digest, and again, It Is Enjoyable and Entertaining and you're like aww my poor baby... but it's not... it's not meaty I don't think. it doesn't make you see the character as anything other than a victim. I don't know, and it shows up, I think less flatteringly, in the way they tweet, and how they speak of their opinions and personal hang ups, and I think, even with people like this, even when they like all the same characters and things as me, it doesn't make them better. some people you just are not meant to vibe with... :( and I mean this, as like, I don't even think I'm that endearing of an online personality. I think I'm funny, which is my single and only edge over them, but they're probably a better writer than i am. so who's to judge.

anyway, I think sword is a funny contrast to err, uh, let's call the guy, uh, Rrrr. Rrrr is a Really Good Writer. everytime I read their fic i'm like Holy Fuck. I don't see the flaws in their fics as clearly as sword's, but I think it's also a matter of like, engagement... sword chooses to engage with Whump and Sadness and Torture and Angst and Tragic Backstory ... and Rrrr likes to grapple with why a flawed character is so flawed, and similarly, sure, how does that cause them angst... but then, the point is never the suffering, the point is whatever mechanism or thought that runs through the character that Makes Them Suffer. you never feel so bad about how these characters are the most meowmeow to ever meow so much so as you're like Aggghhhhhh Orpheus no!!! Don't Look Back!! Orpheus No!! all while understanding why orpheus has to look back. I think there's probably a better myth with the same kind of cultural capital that I could've drawn on, but syntax,diction, this is what I can think of right now to further my point. I think Rrrr does end up kind of, suffering from the Love of Angst and Tragedy as well, their fics are never 'happy' or about happy people, and mostly end very bittersweetly, but I don't think that's bad. I think... perhaps... it's really that they get so caught up in X character's flaws, that you forget what makes people like them in the first place, and while they try to like convey that with exterior interactions, they never succeed in convincing the reader of these good traits... i think at this point I have to point out that both writers write Xiao Genshin Impact, and more recently, Rrrr writes Kaveh genshin impact. so like, they Like their tragic characters. but to MEEEE... I've been so much more endeared to kaveh in fics that are not written by Rrrr, and this is like gribjkndfghkjverndfxcgibrd an overarching issue I have with how the greater genshin fandom just treats Kaveh in general... I think there's such a focus on how he's pathetic and sad and tragic that you forget the whole reason everyone in the world likes him, and why ALHAITHAM HIS LOVER, likes him, is because he is very much still a genius. and the same tragic heart that makes him so miserable, is also what makes him such a visionary. BUT I DIGRESS... it's the same point of woobification. xiao is harder, because xiao is actually not a guy who has that much going for him other than to be The Bearer Of Tragic Backstory... and honestly, when I like xiao it's because I find the extent of his emoangst#death#anger#suffering#pain funny... he's literally the meet the robinsons goober meme... but again. like both sword and Rrrr like him because of how committed he is to his self-suffering and self-tragedy. anyway. I think Rrrr is a much more bearable online personality than sword because Rrrr is just, kind of funnnier, and has better takes imo, and is less superior in their pretensions... idk....

I actually just wanted to talk about how it's better All of the time to just not search an author up to find their twitter. HOWEVER. I can also say that sometimes it's nice. and like.... chuck palanchuik handwriting quote.... as much as you can tell how unbearable a person is by how they synthesise suffering in their works ... with both sword and Rrrr coming off as people I'd prefer not really to know just because If you Write Like That it comes from somewhere and I'm less predisposed to want to engage with guys who are so woeful [in a sense]... anyway. against my better judgement I did do it again, and found a completely different guy who writes about a completely different subject and was instantly and endearingly surprised by the internet persona I did find so like. you win and you lose and you are very well aware of guys you like and would like and would prefer to keep at a distance.

4. mdzs modern au anyone
this is my personal and random bone to pick with like many people around the world. or I have MANY bones to pick with mdzs fic... and this is coming from someone who only reads the really good stuff, and so I actually don't read any mdzs fic set, in say, [North] America; I don't like to read any that are like so clearly and intensely american , I hate most modern aus .... but even beyond these long beaten horses.... I Fucking Hate What They Do To Wei Wuxian.

WWX is not a character who is a 'hot mess' in fact, really, uh the most of the reason he acts like a 'hot mess' is because he's feigning madness so that no one suspects that he's been reincarnated. he's like emotionally oblivious, yeah. but he also is not someone who allows himself to get immersed in his own suffering. because wwx is, someone who has lived a hard life, and has internalised and understood that That Is Life. for him. and so there's little to do but go on living. that is why mdzs ends the way it does. he's a simple person with plain desires. but, I'm saying this as someone who read the exiledrebel fantrans of the novel in like 2019/2020, did not watch the show, has read Only Really Good Fic, etcka... I think the show diverges in a lot of ways and adds depth in places the novel doesn't, but I'm not really sure about what those actual differences are, but I'm willing to like throw in my towel and say: I could be totally wrong. Everyone is entitled to whatever they took from their reader/viewership experience. There's surely a reason for the disconnect. or it could be like oikawa fic in 2017 where the iwaoi tag went from good to having suggestivescribe be the most kudos'd fic, and the downfall oikawa as anything but a bratty bottom began... IDK.

I think I also enjoyed this novel, and continue to enjoy far more than mxtx's others for different reasons than most people. or maybe not! I personally don't really care for wangxian. like I'll read their fic, because, I don't mind it and it's good. but the romance was always lacking for me, right up until wwx jumps into lwj's arms in lotus pier, and you're like Ah Fuck because of everything it symbolises. and I would argue, less than romance, it symbolises the whole reason the novel is good in the first place: Family. I don't think mdzs is something you read because you enjoy the plot. or because you think wangxian are the most romance Of Ever [because they are really not. or like, lwj did not have any personality at all in the exr scans]. I posit that the tragedy that drives apart yunmengjiang trio is the very heart of the novel and all of the meaningful threads that result because and prior to it are what makes the novel Really Really Good and kind of evergreen in my eyes. it's a very good story about family and how fucked up and complicated and horrible and meaningful it is. and so when wwx jumps into lwj's arms and is caught, it's good because after having lost his home for so many years and returning to it and realising he can never get it back. still, he has something different now. WHATEVER. it was both heartbreaking and heartwarming. anyway. I mean I also really liked yi city trio, probably because it hit some of the same notes of like something broken, something makeshift in place that became just as meaningful or worthy of living. along with the whole uhh Domesticating Your Pet Murderer. which to me was what made yi city so crazy tho like...

this, I think is also why I don't really like mxtx's other novels more than mdzs despite them having much more to recommend them, and also like, having like way more diehard fans and way better romances. I read svsss on Rrrr's recommendation, and it was entertaining and I liked bingqiu soooo much, and I Got It, but it wasn't like as personally devastating as mdzs. I started and never finished tgcf, which is always renowned as the Most Romantic and Most Tragic of the three... and again, it was Good, it was, i liked the main characters, I was fascinated with the hexuan/water master thing despite not like being a beefleafer... but again like.... broooo.... I don't think either of them are better or more 'for me' than mdzs is, because the whole reason I liked mdzs is because despite it being about a myriad of things and a lot of them being done somewhat suspectly [at least imo] ... the emotional core of the story, which to me was yunmengjiang, was undeniably strong and wholly compelling, and it was just a really good story. tragedy. what have you. it felt like life.

I think the last factor was that wwx was a much more endearing protag than either sqq or xl. whether it was relatability and going: This guy is so me! every 2s, it's just. he was genuinely charming and likeable and lovely and so it pisses me off when i read fic and I want it to be about That Guy and the guy I'm reading about isn't himmmm... and so it's like.. what ... wh.... and you have to understand, the thing about mdzs fic, is that you're delighted to read a fic and realise that lwj isn't the guy from the book. like that's deconstruction and reconstruction work that Needs to be done. what am I even talking about anymore.

AH. diaspora fic. not everything needs to be about what you[nebulous, royal, etcka] understand about the immigrant/assimilate experience. especially not ancient chinese gay people. you know you don't have to write Fic right. and you know, like even if you write fic, you don't need to do like 489922 hours of like research about culture and customs like... you are also allowed to be ambiguous of the setting and just be careful not to make it like wholly american... ngl I think reading other modern danmei could possibly even Help. like recently i've read so many farming simulator danmeis that I feel like I could write my own. like no it wouldn't be good but it would be recognisable as being Of the genre. like no one is asking anyone to write the next great epic about All of China... but it would be nice if it wasn't so fuckin american.

I think I have thoroughly run out of things to yap about... tgeirb;jdkfgnblvhkdfnjc sorry for your time thank u for ur loss. there was going to be uhhh a section about socks but my BADDDD...

comments

(emphatically)bro....

2024-02-03T04:41:05Z

so I signed up for a short story writing class, and it was errr, the trade off was between this class and something called 'the history of terrorism' ... anyway, so it turns out history of terrorism is taught oomp that i think is personally really good at his job... whereas... Perhaps, I, as the most pretentious person on this earth who writes a total of like 3000w per 2.5 years... perhaps this class was NOT FOR ME... i'm trying really hard to keep my heart open and LEARN from... what is tumblr writing advice 101. which imo, now that I've Read More and simply have analysed more narratives... whatever... I COULD BE WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING WHO THE FUCK KNOWS I CERTAINLY DON'T AND I CERTAINLY VALUE MY OWN OPINIONS TOO MUCH FOR SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT EVEN PRODUCE!!! anyway. here's wonderwall.

we've covered, er, two more 'concrete' topics, insofar... and I'll discuss both.
( Read more... )

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favourite socks gags

2022-09-06T16:46:12Z

- *says anything* I didn't say that
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING STEPBRO!!! admittedly this one has fallen off but the era of socks clips that were just 50 seconds of insane rambling about saving hamsters from his monitor and his stepbrother walked into the room and unplugged his keyboard and *imitates skype call notif* ...gone, but never forgotten. it didn't even get old it was legit just funny every single time
- nice cock. cock. Cocka. (x1000)
- *says anything* [immediate confusion]What?
- *says something normal* [immediately begins to stutter through an explanation of how he means it in a normie, homie-esque way]
- [talks normally] [narrates what he wants to say, his thought process, his message, etcka] [begins typing in genshin chat] hi !!! im trying to fill out as many squares off twitter bottom bingo as i can :DDD !!!

I would link my favourite clips but I fear socks maidenly charm and visual can only be understood by those who can accept that he's uglycute... like the beautiful tier of mid-looking boys.

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Things That Break Other Things

2022-07-25T09:30:04Z

guess who relistened wolf 359? it's a me, ya girl. I had a good time. I had a really good time. I was not expecting to have such a good time, I thought it was not going to live up to the pedestal I put it on at age 17... BUT, it did. I had forgotten that pedestal was even there, and now I'm now, I need to dust it off. Damn, put the plaque back on it's shelf, it deserves the spot! Anyway, you can tell that I've been listening to it, as evident from my narration style.

note for mild to modest vague spoilers... if I talk about jacobi that's True Real Spoilers area. this post is so rambly and incomprehensible sorry.
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guy who's having a bad year

2022-07-14T18:38:11Z

I think I am becoming worse as time passes. like wow... guess who's been a huge bitch on twitter and keeps telling everyone that they're here for the Hüge Bitch Experience to avoid betterment and repercussions but dammmnnnnn I just am not having fun anywhere anymore. I think 'fandom' is not really fun for me anymore... and in a similar way, there's no longer a want to share my thoughts about things (...) IDK I'm at the defeatist point of 'well everyone's allowed to have their own opinions, and if I won't change mine, I can't expect someone else to change theirs...' and it's like ... okay if we're enjoying the same media we should be here like | me | | you | and there should be no interaction. only retweets of \gen fanart of things we both don't hate.
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some....1s and 0s...

2022-06-10T18:42:04Z

I'm going to blow up. and fair warning this post is disgusting. sorry to whomever it could landmine. I'm currently getting blown up myself.

iguessssss this is kind of ummm ... ummmmmmm....ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm *stares at ao3 beomgyu* should I just rot13 this entire post? I will be posting it with requisite amounts of shame, but if I truly had shame it would not be posted. (...) anyway. so. remember when I said (3 days ago) that txt were a group of 0s? well... I have observed... as a whole... that's true... but, if you take certain subsets.... 1s and 0s will arise.

I would like to clarify that yes, I believe no one should be sheeple, and Yes...[op cannot finish this sentence because of personal reasons].... Whatever, I'm gonna c+p my livetweets of my struggles and crises:

@me: "seriously though i think beomgyu is making me reject all my previous thoughts and ideals and by beomgyu I specifically mean ship order taegyu like …. 😦😧😦😧😦😧" (10:35 PM 8/66/22)
@me: "like okay if I think he’s a girl and a brat and a [REDACTED] and a [EVEN MORE REDACTED] LIKE ITS DIFFERENT FROM WHEN OTHER PEOPLE THINK IT… like yes we’re technically at the same conclusion BUT NO WE’RE NOT… NOT IDEOLOGICALLY…" (11:39 PM 8/6/22)
@me: "everytime I agree with the preferred order of the tag I feel like I’ve committed some kind of crime LIKE IM NOT WRONG. BUT IM ABOUT TO BE WRONG BY ASSOCIATION!!!" (5:30 PM 9/6/22)

anyway the following is: OP tries to justify herself about why beomgyu is actually bzrtnfhoobggbz. like, listen, I still believe revOK for him but that is my delusion holding onto my ideals for dear life.

the only reason there's 1s and 0s in taegyu is because. there are. Winners and Losers. it's like how, theoretically, there are 1s and 0s in beomjun too, for the same reason. [I haven't actually figured out the optics on that one even though. like in my mind I know the truth. my heart isn't ready to accept it. I STILL BELIEVE] ANYWAY... 10/10 times when taegyu interact, beomgyu will come out as the loser of the psychological [and physical] power struggle and taehyun will come out more or less unbothered, and maybe with a vague smugness of winning. THIS ISN'T ACTUALLY BECAUSE TAEHYUN IS A WINNER [though that's true]... it's just um.................what beomgyu lacks in actual will he makes up for in spirit.........it's like how........weak mental game..... like he's all fire and no substance....... it's a light show but .... the structure will crumple like paper... IDKKKKKKKKK
this clip [in fact, that entire thread], may be 5000 years old, however. I find it startlingly relevant and if anything has changed that would cause this moment - if perfectly replicated - not to play out exactly the same, I refuse to acknowledge so. in saying that ... BOMGYUUUUU YOUR FAAACEEEE....how does he lose his grip THREE! 3!!!! (THREEE)(3)!!!! TIMES.... JUST GIVE UP.... it's actually more damning that he tries to recover and then even more damning the way he shrugs off the jacket... you are so .... you..... sorry that I once again refuse to explain but if you know anything about the way 1s and 0s are assigned then u know.
I'm going to stop saying words and then let clips speak for me at this point: TOMORROW X TOGETHER on Twitter: "마이 브라더 생일축하해 잘 쉬고 얼른보자~ 그나저나 이 영상 진짜 꿀귀네ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 사랑한다~ #범규 #BEOMGYU #연준 #YEONJUN https://t.co/JBoY1x9Nai" / Twitter wow don't u love. TO DO X TXT - EP.73 World's Best Spring Fairy Contest Part 2?! ......I.....I have not been the same after watching that I just want everyone to know. there were MANY casualties and all of them were MEEEE.... anyway. Idk I feel like that entire ep was about to be proof enough and then ... as u can see... from the video I linked... Just Really Really Hammering it in.
ok, this doesn't technically count because it's soogyu, and something something soobin is always right etc etc etc however I need someone to start running #BEOMGYU_PROTECT on set ... like being a girl who always loses is one thing. losing to SOOBIN … now that’s like … That… .... I acknowledge soogyu exists and like is #real or whatever. but I will be taking pains and measures to protect beomgyu’s image. that’s my final statement here. UPDATE: hi I found a
ANYWAY. the reason I even bring up that clip was because of the very first cut of the rollerblade...SOOBIN LITERALLY DRAGS HIM HALFWAY ACROSS THE FUCKING FLOOR BEFORE BEOMGYU FINALLY HAS TO LET GO.,. I have to kill somebody. I. it's not beomgyu's fault he's like that his disposition just makes him EXTREMELEEEYYYYYY SUSCEPTIBLE OKKKKK......
ok this shouldn't count but I feel like it's a very valid arguement ...he's 5'10 btw. and I think he has like some muscle.
ok what the hell this is another spring fairy clip BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND. seriously please just watch the episode my mental state is in shambles like WWDYMMMMMMM HE'S ACTUALLY A DOGGIRL...... puppycat overreactive hypersensitive doggy who's prone to blowing up every second SORRY IF U CAN'T SEE IT. BUT IT'S LITERALLY. I don't even know what I'm arguing at this point this is about to devolve into a list of things that make me blow the fuck up.
Oh Look It's Spring Fairy Clip The Third ... mang mang mang! is going to haunt me until I die WHY IS HE ACTUALLY. ;RBFUE'IONSDML;X no words I'm calm I need to stop picking dogs when I pick faves... like I need to stay away from them. like this cannot be sustainable.

will update thrilling as I watch more and more content. Cannot wait to be further assaulted and mauled and killed and stoned to death over the knowledge that beomgyu more or less is a mistreatment and manhandling enjoyer. which is literally not his fault.... HE'S PREDISPOSED TO IT ON ACCOUNT OF BEING CRAZY TERRIBLE GIRLS OF THE WORLD.....

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BOMGYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

2022-06-08T14:53:15Z

prenotes (OK ALSO. sorry for being a raging pervert in this post btw. it's like well Once I like them even more I will cease to have any sexy thoughts about them at all, so let's just get this out of the way rn)

I'm on day3 of my moa treatment. here are my preliminary thoughts. NOT TO BE TAKEN AS *SCHOLARSHIP* *ACADEMIA* *META* in any way shape or form. this is just the Then of my future Then v. Now txt thought poasties. this was very much inspired by nico's ramblings about soobin which, was kind of just a loosely organized trail of thoughts. I love that post, I owe nico my life, WE BOTH <3 SOOBIN, and she's so incisive and thoughtful and thorough in how she describes him ;-; nico my bby.

okay ANYWAY. I legiterally never expected to like txt This Much. like I thought I would like soobin and enjoy hyuka's face. ok no I'm like fulled txtpiled. I'm in my MoA era, I hope it continues, I love Good Boy Gone Bad, I love the stages especially, I hope this inspires oomfs to join me in the txtventure and moas to befriend. also to be completely like transparent with what all this is based off of: a few youtube compilations of txt momence (series of unfortunate events, beomjun comp), some scattered random to-do eps (outlaws, gift exchange, biggest winner, go home first, ep5!!), and some scattered interviews (60% of the jessi interview, teen vogue??, etc).

okaur. I've decided to order this, via interestingness. so the sections will be as follows:

0. bias ranking (so everyone is well aware of what informs my opinions, my pre-biases)
1. 1/0 scale (SORRY FOR BEING A PERVERT. AND ASSUMING EVERYONE ELSE IS ALSO A PERVERT. BUT AM I WRONG!!?!?!)
2. shippy agendas (main event of any post really)
3. member breakdowns (personal views, eat with salt, etc) (I will say though I don't hate any single member so no haterism in this post is present at alllll)

bias sorter:

1. soobin
2. BOMGYUUUUUU
3. hyuka == taehyun
4. yeonjun

(...)

if you read this list and think: This doesn't seem correct or accurate judging from the title of this post. you don't know me the way I know me. or BEOMGYU.

but really, no one was surprised. actually well I was slightly surprised since soogyu were my original 2pick like right when they debuted … so like danggg… alright… love at first sight has yet to lead me astray… Though I did think yj might’ve ranked higher due to high rankerisms but actually bomgyu is Also a high ranker ANDDD is a crazy evil girl of the worlddd so :). ok I will not lie I had some negative bias towards taehyun but he’s like sooooo… perfectly neutral and calm and nice all the time it’s like Damn okay. also :,) ship truelove is when guy who’s nice all the time is not nice to you specifically :,) okay whatever watching actual txt content has fixed me and restructured me and made my heart grow three to eight times in size etc etc Taehyun I am so sorry to whatever misconceptions I had about past you, I no longer hold them. I want u to find true love with the person I think you should be in true love with. FIN. I don't expect this to change in any way.

1/0 scale

as you all know, I am a woman of Opinions. of Original and Strange and Occasionally Esoteric and Peculiar thought. I do want to preface this with like, a tweet I twote about TxT: “also like the overall effect of what if ur entire group was bottoms.”

that kind of is how I feel but for the sake of ranking them even more... from like … most to least 1 it’d be like:

taehyun/yeonjun/beomgyu can fight for dominance (all of them are like <1, like =<0.5 to me still tho) …

Ok this needs a little bit of explaining though. taehyun is like, he would not care, it could go either way. yeonjun/beomgyu are like … No one else around here is willing to top. or like yeonjun is.
beomgyu is actually I think the least toppy woppy out of all of the three however what he lacks in actual will to top, he makes up for spirit of passion to topping. like beomgyu does not care about topping but he would love to argue that he could top.
yeonjun would be down to getting railed. not by anyone from txt though. but also beomgyu would probably be annoying enough that it could happen like that. OHHHHH MY GODDDDD okay what I’m trying to say is that psychologically beomgyu is a 1. otherwise. eh.

hnk (.000000002(???)) (personal bias about boys who are extremely beautiful i guess) (and also Um. well. what if u had the consistency and disposition of a sunbeam) (and also were lame and cute and had a serious case of pre puberty voice)

soobin (0000000000) (sorry that him being 6’4 is the funniest fujo joke god has ever played on anyone but Seriously… Seriously)

I do want to point out this ranking has nothing to do with who I actually want to see railed or not*... and actually I think my otp is reverseOK, like bg_left is Good bg_right is Good, Love is Love I See No Difference👍 …
I mean if anything I would prefer it to always strictly be soobinRIGHT however he is 6’4 so its just funny when thats not the case Simply and Only because he’s 6’4 (…) hnkleft probably is something that would turn me off way more than soobinleft LAWL… As you know…girls who loves visuals... and uh... beautiful boys of ever❤️
(*I think? like if it was about who I wanted to top, yj would be 1. so this is not my delusion but what I perceive to be accurate) (I guess the item on this list that's actually most controversial is hnk placement. which. well I can't provide everyone with all the answers and explanations always)

MY SHIP REAL

okay I think we ALL saw this coming. or *I* saw this coming. for the record. I watched like 1.5 episodes of to do and then I was like:

fullsunfullsunfullsu(...) @gayrenjun: I think taehyun and beomgyu should interact more
fullsunfullsunfullsu(...) @gayrenjun: guy who wins games by folllowing the rules versus guy who wins games by causing chaos

And then it turns out. SHAKTI PREDEBUT permutative HAD ALREADY MADE A SHIP PRIMER FOR THEM AND THEY WERE REALLLL IN THE TEXTTTTT.
um to me so far its like beomgyu—->| taehyun which is not to say it’s one-sided it’s more like taehyun is less nice to beomgyu than to any other member and that means BEOMGYUUUU IS SPECIALLLL TO HIM❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ And so My Ship Real❤️ But also like bomgyu actually does not know how to show any affection in the correct ways at all so his form of love is by bullying❤️
...is what I think so far but I would never know.

AND ALSO once again SHAKTI PREDEBUT PERMUTATIVE FAMOUSSSS TO MEEEEE for PERFECTTTT TAEGYU FIC!!! when beomgyu just lies. and then lies again. And then keeps lying <3<3<3 and taehyun spends the entire fic going like: 'Hmmm.......It seems like I could like beomgyu. I will consider it carefully." seriously perfect taehyun voice and perfect maniac pixie crazy girls of world bomgyuuuuuu... I promise to leave u a comment soon legend.

ummm… okay I seriously think revOK for taegyu.

like beomgyu can top bc femmetop rights and I feel like u could lean way too much into basic bl casting if u make him the 0.
on the other hand its a classic anime boygirl ship. so you know. and beomgyu is the girl...
and like I’ll be real originally I was deeply opposed to beomgyu bottoming and I think this dynamic works better if he tops anyway (esp following with my own ideals and beliefs) HOWEVERRRR I think I actually might prefer taegyu in that order. mostly bc even more CUTEST GIRLS OF WORLDDDD beomgyu mileage becoming possible to me :,)
and also it is true he’s tiny* (*5’10) and compact and can be blown away by the wind and is physically weak and pretty vulnerable and susceptible etc etc which I don’t mean like… in the bl uke way but more like I think it’d be something really — revealing? in a sex scene, because I think beomgyu is always so much bigger than life in action and its always noticeable that he’s smaller but not Felt so for it to be Felt as well … 🥲

(...) moving on
I thought there would be more yeonbin but yeonbin is disappointingly non existence even though all these twitter clip compilations are telling me elsewise!!!! stoppp ik these are the two main and biggest txt ships (according to ao3) as if its my fault I love popular ships when theyre in the canon!!!

I don’t thinkkkkk I’d be interested in any other ships…

soogyu is my 2pick but soobin is like too 🤍🐇🐰 for beomgyu for it to be viable to meeeeeeee …
beomjun is a skip because taegyu is Right There. like beomgyu can ruin yeonjun’s day but he does that for fun, not out of love.
tyunning is also a no from me… BEOMGYU IS RIGHT THEREEEEE AND FAR MORE INCOMPATIBLE WITH TAEHYUN… why would u want him to have a lovely and wonderful life with lovely and wonderful huka when unlovely times and nightmare girl bomgyuuu WHO HE DOESN'T WANTTTT is RIGHT THEREEEEE
sookai which ik is real in the text and in canon and goes crazy or whatever but like thats 0for0shipping to me and I want to see both of them railed!!!!!!! their true and pure codependent love may win BUT I DONT!!! ... and I'm morally opposed to either of them topping each other so like. ONCE AGAIN!!! their true and pure codependent love may win BUT I DONT!!!!!!!!!!
I think the only other thing Im actually interested in is like beomkai … idk if they exist tbh … but the soobin triangulation would make it so goodddddd!!!!

Idk if I’ll end up shipping anything crazy or god forbid tyunning by the end of my moa catch-up but i hope notttt!!! TAEGYU. IS SO . PERFECT. to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! and they should be to YOU because the power of maniac pixie nondream girl x Just A Guy Someguy Tyuntyunnn <3 <3 <3 bomgu haruhi suzumiya to tyun's kyonnn >\\\\< MRRRP.

member breakdowns
okay this part is actually embarrassing. if the uh. section for the namesake of this post is embarrassingly long just pretend you didn't see. if it looks like I have some kind of bias. just. you know. if it looks like I misjudged who my 1pick is. just Trust Me. it's gemini szn and I love girls who are crazy more than ever rn. ANYWAY. I reallyyyyy like everyone and every member way more than I planned it's cwazyyyyyy. though I must say I think I chose the most perfect 2pick ever in the world for txt like I'm winning. somehow. like you can win in txt 2picking and I AM DOING THAT!!!

SOOBIN

I love my baby very much he is 🐰🐇🤍 like 🐰🐇🤍 yk like bnyuuuyyy like bnnyuuuyyyy🐰🐇🐇🐰🐇🐰🐇🤍🐰🤍🐰🐇🤍 1pick of worldddddd…

I think soobin is perfect … he clearly is quite independent and individualistic, but not to the extent where he will abandon teamwork or not fall victim to mob-mentality or so … HOWEVER it’s not in the interest of like placing himself first or giving himself the least amount of work or things like that, but making sure work is not unevenly distributed ;-; like in the interest of EQUALITY and FAIRNESS… which is really cute and a really interesting, but well-chosen trait for a leader ;; so cute when he did half the push-ups for beomgyu, and then when he saved round1 but felt guilty and donated every other time <333, and the way he wanted to hold onto the ps5 gift but was *pouty face* when hyuka actually let him keep it SOOO CUUUUTEEEEEE SOOBINNNNN.

otherwise soobin is so soft and cute and like baby but not actually baby like He is My Baby but he’s pretty normal in most respects… I like how huggy and excitable he is and I like how he’s very baseline and somewhat lowkey, but not in a way you can’t shake him into higher or lower energy levels. I would describe him as flexible … but then I also have to say his favouritism and preferences are sooo obvious always ;-; … the way he’ll like crane his neck to see what hyuka is up to at the other end of the room but won’t care about the person next to him is doing

I like that he is not strategically minded but isn’t above some opportunities for revenge and general mischief...I also think it's really cute how he'll go along with anything;-; I haven't really seen any of the heartfelt momence that nico mentioned, but I don't doubt that they exist and he is at least a little bit, the emotional heart of txt!!! also I love how delusionally he is gripping onto this 'sexy' concept image... Bby u are many things but not that. SORRY FOR HAVING SO LITTLE TO SAY...I just think soobin has the most perfect face of ever he is sooo handsome and pretty and cute; and he's sooooo beautifully proportioned and ridiculously tall and long and slender and most of all PERFECT in every way possible. and his speaking voice is such a nice tenor.

if anything, I really think he is a perfect fit into my 1pick themology of loving guys who are a little boring and earnest and somewhat culpable to delusion<3

STAGE
I think it's soooo fun to watch him dance, because he's sooo long and limbful and generally very graceful and well-practiced to his movements. SERIOUSLY HIS BODY LINES ARE SOOO BEAUTIFUL....who else blew up watching opening sequence? however. WE NEED RETURN OF THE CUTE FRESH FUN CONCEPT FOR HIM!!!! remember when soobin did a gg dance and it blew up so much that it literally became known as his song? AND THEN THEY IMMEDIATELY MOVED ONTO EDGY DARK CONCEPTS... cries cries cires YOU FOOLS STOP NERFING HIS STATS!!!
and I tweeted this already but I will transcribe it here:

(me)I actually really like goodboy gone bad but we need to stop letting soobin take hits just so yeonjun can show off his jokercosplay on stage
(me)WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR CUTE FRESH REFRESHING CONCEPTS? YEONJUN CAN DO THOSE TOO. BUT SOOBIN CAN'T DO BAD BOY!!!!
(nico)His face literally cant move in that way like seriously its not his fault. the least they could do is let him smile a little

I promise to return with more to say about soobin interiority and actualization and characterization next time other than just 🐰🐇🤍 ;-; I think I've mostly been watching content where other members shine more...but like seriously it's not my fault he's just 🐰🐇🤍 like he's 🐰🐇🤍you know hes like creature he's like 🐰🐇🤍🐰🐇🤍

bomgyu

can I just say that this is embarrassing? can I just say that I didn't expect to write so much about him at all. can I just say------ [dragged offstage by a cane]

BOMGYUUUUUUUUUU… I saw in cat and dog mv he’s cat?coded and I was like So true he is a cat with doggo mannerisms. or vice-versa.

will the girl scholarship ever die? No! will kpop boy assigned girl meta ever end? NO!!! Will Beomgyu Is Does The GIRL? Yes.

he is my crazy [evil] girls of the WORLDDDDDD … ❤️❤️ if you don’t understand JUST UNDERSTAND. it’s seriously thru tho he’s not a crazy boy or simply crazy he’s Crazy Girls. of world. if you don’t get the nuance idk uhhh it’s like he’s maniac pixie dream girl of the group. but not actually anyone’s dream girl. So just manic pixie girl. he’s haruhi suzumiya. [taehyun is kyon, i hope this helps].he is impolite society and rude and he would blow up the universe for fun and everything should go his way and he has to fight everyone and the universe is centered around him AND HES MYYYYY PERFECT GIRL OF WORLDDDDDD.
sorry not my fault hes the main character of Ever to MEEEEEE!!!!! hes overdramatics and screaming and talking back and witty remarks and he [girl]bullies the boy he likes because he doesn’t know how to show his love and he’s TEENSY* AND SMALL* AND DELICATE AND HAS A FACE LIKE THAT!!! (*he is 5’10.) (*He Is 5'10.)
Oh. AND HE LIES JUST FOR FUN. HE LIES JUST TO LIE. my beautiful crazy girl of world who Loves chaos and discord and making the lives of everyone on set hard … random bomgyu moment I really loved was when they were picking which cookie and he tells yeonjun that his one is the one yj's reaching for and he doesn’t even care that yj was getting it first and then yeonjun just waits until everyone is done picking to grab his plate … like omgggg you really are seriously self-centric terrible girls of WORLDDDDD… yes the entire universe should revolve around you and bend to your will MY BBBYYYGIRLLLLL +++ omg in addition to this like the to-do getting off work episode and theyre filming his bit outside the studio room and he literally just Walks Off Camera to go back in and yell about forgetting to put the dakji(?) back. like he doesnt even explain to the person filming😭😭😭 Ok I understand not everyone would think this is charming but I think his thoughtlessness is so charming because he genuinely does have so many other charms to make it make senseee… like he would not be as perfect and terrible crazy horrible girl bullies of world unless he was like this!!!!
like as a tangent point I think marklee is like pretty thoughtless/lacks awareness like this too but in mark’s case you know it was because he was very well loved and cared for … versus with beomgyu it’s not out of an excess of affection that he’s like this, it’s just the way he is!!!!
I feel like I have to point out that I keep saying ‘center of universe’ etc as descriptors of him which is NOT AT ALLL like being the center of every room or being attention-catching or like simply doing so out of want for attention … he doesn’t care who is paying attention to him He Will Be Heard. Like all his dramatics and yelling aren’t to the point of getting his group members to pay attention to him, its because He wants to make an impassioned speech about how theyve betrayed 5 years of teamwork by not donating!!!!!! etc etc … SO PERFECTTT TO MEEE. and therefore even though only the camera is listening to him, I believe the universe should be rearrnaged to center around BEOMMGYUUUUU … idk like the kind of existence that’s like I exist so I’ll be loud about it. I exist so why shouldn’t I take up space? >>>HE IS SOOO PERFECT TO MEEEEEEE
EDIT 10/0622: I would more concisely describe him as 'A Very Hormonal Girl [She Is On Her Period].'

I LOVE . BOM . GYU .

stage: why did they stop letting him rapper I WANT RAPPER BEOMGYU BACKKK. not because he raps particularly well or anything I just love prettyboy rappers and beomgyu is soooooo perfect for it and it wouldve been so funny to me!!!!! (...) on a different note, I think while he's maybe one of the weaker dancers, which seems mostly just due to him having less weight to throw around anyway so his moves don't feel as impactful ;; I THINK HE IS AMONG THE MAIN SLAYERS OF THE GOOD BOY GONE BAD STAGE!!! in general I think it's reallyyy fun to watch him on stage for like their more 'mature' concepts, like loser/lover/1x0/gbgb he gets so into itttt... also I love the thing he does with his voice... not that txt 'sing' but uhhh his voice being on kind of the deeper side and him always leaning into it IS SO PERFECTTT TO MEEEEE...idk ig it's like the quality of it going hoarse?... whatever I like it and think he's perfect!!! also gbgb stages are sooo funn to me in particular because he seems so small* (*He is 180cm) compared to the rest of them... so automatically it's like Awww Shawtys gonna come in now.... wtf am I even saying rn. whatever it's not like when ptg jinho or other goblin members do it tho, it's special because BOMGUUUU is the most special girls of the universe Of Ever. EVERY WORD I ADD MAKES THIS WORSE AND WORSEEE ICANTTTTT ICANTTTTTTTTT

kind of as a different aside I have to mention that he kind of is like jaemin if jaemin slayed. as in like he's gremlin. but actually he slays way more and also, asforementioned!!! IS A CRAZY GIRL!!!! which is so much more important than having a quality of being similar to jaemin.

ANYWAY sorry I just think beomgyu is sooooo perfect in every single way ever and have so much affection for him BECAUSE! HE IS!!!! PERFECTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! TO MEEEEEEEEE. beomgyu seriously walks into any set and asks ‘how can I make someone’s* day Worse?’ And regardless of whether he can come up with the answer he still does exactly that❤️(*yeonjun) (<- preliminary thoughts)

hyuka

I would like hyuka so much more if he was a girlgroup member. How do I explain that. I LIKE HIM A LOT AS HE IS!!!! he and taehyun are equal to me!!!! its just that I don’t care for cuddly kind nice cutesy affectionate boygroup members… .____. Mrrp. I really like cutie aegyo girlgroup members though LAWLLLL... If I could change my tastes for him I WOULDDDDD… but like LOLLL. I love that he’s lame and I love that his speaking voice is so — ???? The way it is. I think he has a perfect awkward innocence to him and He is SOOO SWEEEETTTT everyone knows he’s so sweet but seriously🥲 he is so sweet and simple and happy and cheerful and it is sooo endearing and slay and lovely … hes so earnest and talented and THE REVERSE IS SO SO SOS SOOOOOOO CUUUTE … I think its genuinely so amazing how like you cannot tell that he’d be like this offstage from onstage. or that from offstage he’d be like That Onstage. I love that txt refuse to laugh at any of his jokes and I love that he'll keep going regardless of thatttt... I think he has that really unbashed air to him, where he's not shy or self-conscious, and will always just say what he thinks/offer his two cents/etc etc. realllyyyy realllyyyyy cute and perfect trait TO MEEEEEE. I feel like it's such a big tell of when someone's grown up with a lot of affection and love and care freely offered to them ;-; IDK I think you can tell he's just really loved.

stage: HE IS BY FARRRRR MY FAVOURITE MEMBER TO WATCH ON STAGE... esp for their recent stages [soobin always wins cute concepts TO ME] ... as I mentioned, his reversal charm goes crazy... but also he's such a good dancer and performer and singer!!!! like I'm pretty sure most of the reason I like gbgb is bc hyuka slays it so harddddd.... he also just went soooo fucking crazy in their frost perf like... DAMN. OKAY. like I think I'd already decided like by run away, when I was watching an angel or devil stage, that hyuka was the best performer out of them and also my favourite performer, and HE'S JUST. ONLY. GOTTEN. BETTER!!!! seriously so amazing to see him, I'm always blown away <333 <333 EVEN MORE SO NOWWWWW THAT I KNOW WHAT HES LIKE OFFSTAGE!!!

tyuntyun

okay firstly Every moment I really am so sorry to taehyun for underestimating him so bad and manifesting negative thoughts towards him IM SOOOOWWWYYYYYYYYYYYY… I like him so much!!!! I think he's by far the most well-spoken and probably the most well-read and well-rounded member... SERIOUSLY SO SORRY FOR JUDGESTIMATING U SO HARD KINGGG... it kind of really is so fun to have him play as the straight man to the rest of txt's silliness and need for chaos. like It Will Always Be:

th: guys you win like this *demonstrates*
txt: why would we do that? that's for LOSERS and LAMEOS. real ones win by CHEATING and NOT CARING ABOUT THE GAME AT ALL
th: okay.

I like how he doesn't even get mad or annoyed he's literally just (man standing) WHICH IS SOOO PERFECT AND FUNNY... he has many hidden talents and capabilities... I think nose job slays really hard also... what am I even saying at this point, sorry I'm running out of things to say.... I like tyun <3 I think he works very hard and is very nice to his members and never holds anything against them which like I'm not sure how he accomplishes that, but he has far more mental fortitude than anyone else in the group.

stage: he's not my favourite to watch on-stage but you cannot deny he is very well-rounded and good at his job. EDIT: I would describe him as very textbook; in that he does exactly what he has to to make his performance good. sorry that I am not particularly passionate, like he's very good!!! I just am not watching tyun fancams on my own time like that .____. mrp

yeonjub

what if you were a highranker who was a loser? IT'S NOT YEONJUN'S FAULT HE'S CURSEDDDD.... um the trials and tribulations one CHOI YEON JUN has gone through.... he's baby and slayer and I expected him to be ... more eye-catching? ? ? based off stantwt's general treatment of him, and all the fanservice affaciando tweets I've seen but eh. I like that he minds his own buisiness and does what he does competently and highrankerly and then Loses anyway. I kind of expected him to be more cutthroat but I guess it's like.... his image/words are sharper than his actual personality and actions. from what I've seen so far, I think he's very considerate[-ly affectionate?] if not like cuddly affectionate ... ok I legitermitly have so little to say.... first of all I'm tired second of all I am not paying attention to him WHEN BEOMGYU OFFSCREEN DOING SOMETHING. ok sorry. he's a slayer he slays!!!

stage: he's the center. what do u want me to say? he's not center-like? if he wasn't the center, he would not be the center. he's the center for a reason like he has yet to be replaced by hnk!!! which speaks for itself I feel. I do really think his hair slays for gbgb and that his joker cosplay rap part Also slays. oh YEAH also one of the only 4th gen bg rappers I like >.> ... OHHHH I also saw a youtube short that was like claiming he makes every dance look super hard... and I AGREE... he really pays attention to detail when dancing it's quite amazing... again! highranker slayer who slays!!!

closing notes.... er...... here is my favourite good boy gone bad stage LOL. why is it so good you ask? all the members who I think should be wearing chokers are wearing chokers. also beomkai in a lowcut shirts ahhhhhhh aaaaaaahhhhh... perfect amount of skin reveal for MEEEE. OK just in particular beomkai look sooooo good and slayyyyy so hard in this. hahaha thank u if u read, bye byeeee.

comments

month(s)_in_books(dec2021-may2022)

2022-05-18T10:27:04Z

ok I will genuinely try to be brief and like speedrun thru everything I've read the past 6months~ . by which I mean two books I read in december and like everything I've read in the last month. and no one say anythingggg about how this entire list is scavenged from braintransplant.dreamwidth.org/tag/books like it's my fault I'm unoriginal.

list: olondria, the foundation series + prequels, the imperial radach, the sparrow, drive your plow over the bones of the dead, a memory called empire
to read: my name is red(60%), a little life, foundation sequels, left hand of darkness, deathless, asimov's short stories, maxmin gorky's short stories, nemesis, a desolation called peace.

(...)

THE WINGED HISTORIES sofia samatar
this ruined my life when I read it. which is really funny because both DURING reading and after I was like Wowwwww.... 60% of this book sucks major ass, but the 30% that was good literally killed u dead and the other 10% was just pretty writing for the sake of pretty writing. I will be honest literally everything this book was supposed to be about went over my head because I tend to focus on personal narratives opposed to the bigger picture sofia samatar painted... the reviews I read of this book that got me to read this book, all like were like 'it's about the pieces left after War' well I thought it was about the pretty writing. definitely top10 books ever that rip your heart out though.
some lines:

In the desert there are empty places, but once we were not afraid. We rode through noon. You sang, my heart is white with love.
Sometimes she made herself eat the charcoal as a sort of penance and vomited ecstatically over the balcony.

A STRANGER IN OLONDRIA sofia samatar
the problem with this book is that it's travel vlogging, but also trying to set a religious war and show it's machinations From The Perspective of A Dude Who Doesn't Know Shit and is Only Cataclysmically Involved and keeps Promising u the most heart-wrenching love story ever and then only delivers for about <30 pages out of it's 300 page runtime. that love story, when you finally reach it, is very worth it. or, jessivet's story is worth wading through the whole book for. ALSO. the folktales invented for olondria lore are so beautiful and worth reading for... I do think the story of the cousins's should've been in TWH to set up for siski/dasaya and warm the reader's heart towards cousincest, because reading this After just makes u realize Ah. or made me realize Ah. IDK in general all the folklore introduced and written was so seamlessly and thoughtfully placed and weaved through with the narrative. like terrible book, but as it is with sofia samatar, worth reading for the 20 pages of unbearably beautiful writing.

some lines:

I am the last thing you will see, I said in my heart. I am the last, I have carried you in my arms, I have brought you home.
Life comes back, the shadows of leaves.

THE FOUNDATION TRILOGY isaac asimov
my mom was obsessed with me reading these books and so I read them. it WAS fun reading old classic scifi by the Inventor of the genre interspersed with modern sci-fi written by women who know Women and Gay People Also Exist. and that ethnic ambiguity is the name of the game now. these books + a discussion with my dad made me realize like Wow...Wait ...YEAHHHHHH scifi is about sociology/anthropology not robots and tech. it's interesting because I read these after Mempire and between Imperial Radach so the difference in what subjects the respective authors focused on and cared about was a fun comparison. I think the charm of the foundation series is that Asimov locked himself into a short story anthology format, and as the trilogy progresses you see him try to break it by making longer and more closely related [both in time and characters] and ... honestly I think it makes the books less and less effective as you read, but still good. I think some of these books are clever, and I think it's hilarious that you can see his switch into Feminism and Second Wife Making Him Realize Women Are People And Therefore Book Characters Too.... Arcady Darell forever in my heart as she is THEEEEE HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE LITTLE GIRL OF THE WORLDDDD....

PRELUDE TO / FORWARD THE isaac asimov
these books suck so much ass compared to the original series. and are too obsessed with robots. which #yasss continuity etc etc #TheIACU [Isaac Asimov Cinematic Universe] but like genuinely, I think you can tell how much more of a short fiction writer Asimov is and how he always returns to this short-split form rather than a true chaptered format. but seriously, these books drag and while some of the exposition about how trantor functions and is bound to fall is interesting, it's like nowhere near interesting enough to make up for a painfully boring protagonist and a forgone conclusion about ROBOTS. I think had it really focused more on how this journey added to Seldon's creation of psychohistory, then it would've been much more worth the read, but Asimov didn't even TRYYYYY on that front. whatever.

ANCILLARY JUSTICE ann leckie
(original thread)
can I just say. gt9? flop. Mempire? flop. any other gay progressive scifi I might be inclined to read? Pre-emptively, Flop. THE IMPERIAL RADACH? INVENTED. I need to dedicate another reread to these books and an entire three essays about these books but GOD. please please please if you read anything from this list ... ANCILLARY JUSTICE!!!! ANCILLARY JUSTICE!!!! first of all I think this book is perfect even as a standalone, and then is perfect as not a first book, but a prequel of sorts. I think when you read mercy/sword, they read as 'Main Plot' and justice then feels like the expositionary pre-show that sets up for explaining all about Breq and how they got here and so forth. in saying that. AGAIN. this book is the perfect standalone, and I think, in more of an objective way than my personal opinion way, this is probably the best Book of the 3. It's literally space adventure. that's it. it's like.... the perfect literary equivalent of 'It's about the Journey, not the Destination' ... also the first and only book where like there are Stakes of some sort and Breq isn't like omnipotent, OP, has everything figured out, hemlock shlomes-esque... I loved this book because it genuinely just feels like you're --- IDK this is about to sound sooooo stupid but it's like The Essene of Reading where you're learning more as the book progresses and you really are like On This Journey with Breq and dealing with Seivarden and trying to kill Emperor of the Galaxy and realizing over and over it's Grief, you're feeling Grief, this is all about Grief this is -- Breq is the last remaining fragment of a grief-crazed AI, which has just managed to trigger a civil war.

lines:

The omen Stillness had flipped, become Movement. And Justice was about to land before me, clear and unambiguous.
She was never one of my favourites.

ANCILLARY SWORD / ANCILLARY MERCY ann leckie
I think these books are just One Book. in terms of books, they are a duology and ancillary justice is the prequel ... but like. spiritually. this is just one book. Again, Justice was for people who wanted Journeys and Epics Lows and Highs ... sword/mercy are for people who love to watch sherlock episodes and nod as everything is fixed and Breq always has a contingency plan and everything always works out perfectly. I would almost say feel-good in terms of Plot. BUT LIKE. THE PLOT IS A FLIMSY EXCUSE TO HAVE SOMETHING TO BUILD THE CONCEPTION OF
ANCILLARIES. SHIPS. THEIR CAPTAINS. THEIR OFFICERS.
ONNNN... people will be like X media Invented a New Form of Love. and X media is never Ancillary Mercy. and therefore that statement is untrue. I think these last two books are sooooo charming, not because the plot is particularly moving or interesting as it was in justice; but because of the way the cast interacts with each other and all the little subplots and subpolitics like.... the intricate rituals between two ships....one ancillaryless one shipless..... the teaseat politics haptics .... whatever the fuck was happening with the translator.... IDKKKK it's kind of a very charming 'workplace' setting ... and then like randomly near the end of the series you get the most fucked up conversation of all time ever between Breq, Ship, while like Seivarden and also a bunch of other officers Are Right THEREEE....... T-TT-T-T-T-T--T-T-T

lines:

...but back at Omaugh Palace, weeks ago, the Lord of the Radch tried to assign me a new captain and I told her I didn't want anyone but you. Which was foolish, because of course she could always force me to accept her choice. There was no point in my protesting, nothing I could say or do would make any difference. But I did it anyway, and she sent me you.
And I like Lieutenant Seivarden well enough, but mostly because she loves you.

THE CAT THAT ATE THE LEMON.JPEG THAT I AM TODAY.... I think it's soooo fucked up because this directly goes back to Once Again being about Lieutenant Awn and how she was doomed no matter what, but had she known, she would've refused earlier. IDKKKKKKKK this books were so good and changed my life forever maybe even. I think it was crazy that it was set in book1 that this was all because of and For Lieutenant Awn and that held true through the end. SO GOOD.

THE SPARROW mary doria russell
imagine my surprise when I read this book and assume it was published in 2019 and it was actually published in 1996. that's how woke it is. but surely I have more feelings about this book besides how modern it reads.... and to answer that... I think that very few authors are willing to make their characters devout, but it's just True that religiosity adds layers to a character and a narrative that makes it Fuck ... the only other example in my mind is Daredevil really. but ummm... seriously this book settled my views on the intersection of characters and their beliefs, and I think a character who is devout is always more compelling than a fuckall athiest/agnostic.
aside from that, I cannot say anything about this book that is not constantly referenced through out it - which is - 'Not comedy. Not tragedy. Perhaps, farce?' (...) not to plagiarize braintransplant's review wholly but this book makes it very clear what happens, and what will happen and what it's about and You Know. You are an omniscient reader! you know!!! and it's still like being slapped in the face. like. really. COMEDY? TRAEGDY? FARCE? I think it handles some of it's emotional punches far better than others, and I think for the sake of readability, it chooses to deafen some of the more tragic moments but like, the waves those leave still ripple later into the narrative. one of the moments that broke me most most retroactively, was when Emilio speaks of how his rape was transcribed into poetry and songs and how everyone on earth surely had heard those broadcasts and I ended up thinking of how both Sofia's physical prostitution and intellectual prostitution were in complete privacy and that No One Knew and No one would have ever known and how it was both a perfect crime and her secret to bear completely alone for the end of her life. and how Emilio's is the complete opposite because it's sexual slavery, and it was so publicized, not only to Eden, but to Earth and confesses to an Audience of it. IDKKKKKKKK. IT JUST BROKE ME SO BAD. LIKE I WAS JUST GENUINELY SHATTERED AT THEIR RESPECTIVE TRAGEDIES.

lines: sorry that these are 1:1 to the lines braintransplant choose but it . LIKE THOSE REALLY WERE THE PARTS.

“But it was my body. It was my blood," he said, choking with fury. "And it was my love”
“Not one sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.” / “But still, the sparrow falls,” Felipe said.
“The problem with atheism, I find, under these circumstances," he continued with academic exactitude, each word etched on the air with acid, "is that I have no one to despise but myself. If, however, I choose to believe that God is vicious, then at least I have the solace of hating God.”

DRIVE YOUR PLOW OVER THE BONES OF THE DEAD Olga Tokarczuk, trans. Antonia Lloyd-Jones
this book is funny as a comedy. mid as a book. I enjoyed it far less than I thought it would. it's not the crazy old woman-ism got old, but everything that Detracted from that got old. the letters to the police were the highest parts. and then everything else moved soooo slowly like I think it was the constraint of linear timeline that made this book kind-of a pain to get through like it would've been very fun if it was just stream of consciousness narrative voice allowed to do Fuck All and Also Murders are happening in the background. IDKKKK. anyway I 100% think this book should be read as a comedy.

lines

"I know, I know I'm neurotic and oversensitive, and I should go and get treatment." She glanced at me with sudden hope, as if expecting me to contradict her, but meanwhile I was noting mentally that there are still normal people in this world.
I find this division of people into three groups – skiers, allergy sufferers and drivers – very convincing. It is a good, straightforward typology. Skiers are hedonists. They are carried down the slopes. Whereas drivers prefer to take their fate in their hands, although their spines often suffer as a result; we all know life is hard. Whereas the allergy sufferers are always at war. I must surely be an allergy sufferer.
This is a very rare configuration of the planets, and thus I have great confidence in commending it to the attention of the Police. I am taking the liberty of enclosing both Horoscopes, in the expectation that the police Astrologer will consult them, and then support my Hypothesis
It’s strange how the Night erases all colours, as if it didn’t give a damn about such worldly extravagance.

A MEMORY CALLED EMPIRE arkady martine
isn't it fucked up that all the most interesting shit in this book happens like. in the preludes of each section. Fucked up. terrible plot. interesting linguistics. HORRIBLE HORRIBLE ROMANCE FUCK THREE SEAGRASS. huge L for old man yaoi. ummmmmmm..... not bad overall. sorry this was 10 million years ago and I remember not liking it enough to immediately read the sequel but it still being vaguely interesting enough to make me at least think about reading the sequel. literally like, the sparrow did the linguisitics better, and imperial radach did Everything Else better. STILL imago-tech was a very very veryyyyy cool innovation

BE FUCKING FREE!!!! sorry that these 'reviews' are in noooo way helpful or communicate anything At All about any of these books at all. if it helps, my recommendations are ancillary justice and the sparrow.

+++ ash's review of twh, which is super super insightful + director's cut of beautiful lines Anddddd noura's imperial radach posts which goes wayyy more into depth about the books

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genshin post the — [op wishes to plead the fifth]

2022-02-19T09:11:18Z

longtime no updates…. WELL, here are my updates. uid: 62206621

PULLS

event wish
>pulled on ganyu banner, ONE. ONE xingqiu came home [c1], got the second one [c2] from lantern rite instead of getting yunjin [tears]. ganyu came home at pity. both beidou and yanfei are c4.
>pulled ON BELOVED YAE MIKO FOXWIFE BANNER. Have received: my C5 dwiona… my r5 widsith [pulled last refinement while pulling yae]. another favonius greatsword. ?flop. C3 FISH!!!!!! girl of world who I wanted MOSTTTT. and c2 thoma.
>yae weapon banner looks so slay that I did a tenpull…. I wanted. either stringless or sac sword. I received. painslasher. I’m telling myself that it’s OK. that’s building pity for my mistsplitter summons round 2… yeah I’m coping. It was going to be for when I pulled ayato with his signature weapon EXCEPT. that’s a crit rate weapon and he’s. He’s. He Is. hp scaling and I have JADE CUTTER. so mistsplitter or bust.
>oh I guess I didn’t mention it. I got yae at 78 pity on the 50/50. WIFE HAS BEEN SECURED. WITH 50 WISHES FOR WIFE 2 STILL LEFT.

standard
>got. My r5 fav bow. Thanks diona is really enjoying it.
>got. My c3 lisa. Thanks, I was just thinking 'Huh I wonder if my lisapulling luck is gone, I haven’t seen her in a while...' … and so she came. might use her as yae one shot build burst support
>got. skyward pride at 30 pity and started building it because Beidou. Needs ER [op doesn’t even use beidou] (...) and then at 24 pity. I got. WGS. Wow. that would be a great claymore for my claymore users. IF I USED CLAYMORE USERS.

— nothing else memorable of note.

builds/teams/etc [NEW!!!]

ganyu — lvl80 / prototype crescent r5 / 2100 atk / 49:213 CR:CD / 140 EM / 120 ER
>used up all my bow prototypes before I even had a chance to go… Huh. maybe I should build hamayumi. whatever r5 crescent goes fucking crazy. ganyu in general. Facking crazy!!!
>ganyu is a pull I made because I have notorious and terrible history of only pulling 5* subdpses/supports… and never pull a dps that will do shit for my account. so. but I really do enjoy charged shot playstyle because it makes me feel like I have skill sometimes [arguable], and it’s fun to play her!
>her talents are 10/6/6 … because, Yes. crowned her day1 with all the books I was farming for yunjin LOLLLLL …. But like, what are you going to do when you get ganyu. not crown her autos? Um… I will probably level her to at least 10/6/8 if not 10/8/8 but … it’s not that important atm.

yae — lvl90 / widsith r5 / 1900atk / 77:211 CR:CD / 120 ER
>yes she needs more ER. yes I’m farming leylines for the first time in forever because I need to 90 her. other than jean, she is the only character who will consistently be in my showcase because. FAVOURITE PRIVILEGES. also. she’s going to be my character pfp forever I HAVE BEEN WAITINGGGGG.
>her teams are….they’re going to be interesting. I tried to play some form of taser in abyss, but floor11 is a shitshow for her and…I reallyyy need to learn that team otherwise nothing’s going to come out of it….
>got her to 6/8/6 day1 … YES I did the story quest so I could unlock the boss so I could level her. I’m definitely going to get her to 9/9/9 [favourite privileges] if not 9/10/9 … probably 9/10/9.

rosaria — lvl70[/80] / skyward spine / 1500 atk / 70:143 CR:CD / 220 EM / 140 ER
>guess who I decided to build. Approximately. Two seconds before yae banner dropped.
>I wanna play reverse melt… because… it will free up kazuha and xingqiu for yae… etc.
>she uses ballad books which has to be the worst thing in the world because I am never escaping this wednesday/tuesday slot curse (...) ummmm. guys if I ever build a character that will need a monday slot … like know that that’s not me. I’ve been impostered.
>so her talents are … 1/7/4 … because… I have her c3 so she gets 3 levels in her skill…. anyway I’ll 80 her At Some Point, and then ummm … slay the abyss with reverse melt!

team comps

[momiji-dyed court] — jean / qiqi / diona / ganyu
— this is the most cope team ever. I want qiqi’s namecard, so she’s here. I want Jean to be listed as my most used character in my #GenshinWrapped so I bring Jean to like every domain. Ganyu needs a shield or else she’ll die. so.
rotation: diona hold E > ganyu E > ganyu CA until diona E wears off, repeat. if ganyu dies, press jean Q.

[overworld enkanomiya] — kazuha / venti>jean / diona / ganyu
— this was a pretty good exploration team. I ran a crit venti build for his wind current being extremely useful and then I was like haha! I forgorrr this guy was pretty fun to use!!! and then I switched in jean once and never went back. I legit have like, separation anxiety if I don’t use jean in my teams. ganyu kills everything in the overworld supah supah fast and even faster if kazuha is there. so.
rotation: diona hold E > swirl cryo > ganyu CA. everything dies! people explode!

[daily comms friendship collection] — jean / chongyun>yae / qiqi / ganyu
— remember what I said about separation anxiety when No Jean? LOLLL. Ok it’s true that I was originally running jean because she’d one-shot everything when I was trying to get friendship with extremely unbuilt/unartifacted characters [sara, beidou, xinyan, razor] … but now she’s here because I Love Her…
— you’d think with me running jean on every team she’d have like…her support build [4vv, ER] but uh. No. nope. no. UPDATE: lvl90'd skyward blade and put jean on 4noblesse 200% ER build ummm SO GOOD. SUPPORT JEAN SLAYS!!!!
— replaced chongyun with yae as soon as I got her… and now it’s like Do I use ganyu to beat everything or do I use yae? the answer is that they can Both do it. So there is no rotation LOL. I also use this team to do leylines lol. BY GOD WE ARE GETTING THAT QIQI NAMECARD.
rotation: there is no rotation. just. Be Free!

[overworld farming team] — kazuha / fish / jean / yae
— guess who was waiting to farm sakura blooms until YAE MIKO was home. yes I was deadset on Ayato having sakura blooms as his ascension materials because [wailing] KAMISATO SIBLINGS— (pulled off stage with a cane, etc, more on this later) … anyway, so this is my sakura blossom + nobushi farming team
rotation: fish E > kazuha E > yae EEE[QEEE] (...) unfortunately. most enemies are dead after kazuha E so…

last notes

— fish is on r3 stringless, kazuha on r5 fav, jean on jade cutter obvs.
— currently back2 the saving grind for my wife the 2nd, ayayayato. I’m like. Being delusional and deeply hoping that if I do one tenpull on raiden banner, she will miraculously come home. because yae er is free. so here is to hoping!!!
— less pertinent but still like, #need is… kazuha c2 [yes I would pull for a constellation over a new character. I Only Like To Play Characters I Already Have]... mistsplitter [my dreams of having a jean build for every sword still remains]. ayayaya. who will hopefully NOT be rerun with her brother because the cope I will have to eat at that point TT.

other plans
[weapons]
— I need to level90: ~~skyward blade [bennett, support jean]~~, stringless [venti, fish], skyward spine [xiangling, rosa].
— other weapons I’m Hmmm…. on building: anenoma kageuchi [jean, future ayayayaya], dragonsbane [xiangling, rosaria], might need to build sac bow(...)

[characters]
— bennett lvl 80? 1/6/8

resin management
>tues/wednesday/friday/saturday/sunday slots — TALENT BOOKS [op is throwing up] diligence [ganyu], ballad, elegance, light.
>mon/thurs — everything else

priority level
*YAE LVL90
*YAE 9/9/9 > 9/10/9
*ROSARIA 1/6/8
*[ayato prefarm hypothetical start] >> hydro hypostasis runs
*BACK 2 MOMIJI-DYED COURT FOR MORE BAD ARTIFACTS.

>in terms of savings
8.4k primos. 54 starglitter. no pity. ok 11 pity on weapon banner.

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