week_in_readings (3/dec4-11.2020)

[fwcu]

it’s sunday so once again, i’m Late! this is both unfortunate and really sad since i was hyperaware of Friday for the days leading up to Friday, and then it was actually Friday and i was not aware it was Friday. I have a lot of ground to cover because we established a #library channel on the discord server and my life has been a fun zigzag of reading/tweeting/coding/archiving. notion databases are things that are so personal….To Me!

anyway, a lot of articles this week. 

< David Davis XIII Part 3: on validity > david
Actually this was really interesting to me, if not for the reason it was sent, but to actually read about someone who participates in s&m culture irl. I don’t know….. I guess the knowledge that they’re a freak but they’re actually a real person before that … u just don’t get that in fiction yk? I mean sometimes you do if it’s like a 70k fic and the author cares both about the porn and the relationship [rix, i misss herrrr], but there really is a disconnect between reading about something rooted in fiction...which is like theoretical speculation, asking the reader to imagine a world where a character who could be this kind of person exists; versus like, irl which is like praxis. yes i did write out that whole sentence to make a stupid praxis joke, i'm still thinking of sora saying thesis is the new praxis...THEY WERE RIGHT! anyway, i don't know how much of a weirdo this whole paragraph is making me sound like but i hope u can forgive me for it. 20 year old virgin and all etc etc. anyway the point the author gets to at the end of it is like, because everything is being validated now, validity has no meaning, etc etc. u know the whole thing thing about everything being capitalism shill run-offs. okay not really, i did paraphrase with a post-modernist twist... anyway i'm not here to summarize readings; i am here to say ... i like knowing that people exist, people who do bdsm, queer people who do bdsm, that there are people who want to do it with them, and places for these people to seek each other out and create or enter communities. i don't know everytime my personal worldview expands so i can be like 'i really do know an example of x kind of person irl!' [even if it's not quite, irl] it excites me! there's a difference between knowing of, and knowing you know, and i'm a person that likes to know.

< Taylor Swift is the Greatest American Popstar > Hips to Waste
I was on this blog for a different article, one that I didn't finish reading because it was a lot for me to parse through and I wasn't in the mood to be frustrated. I love this style of writing, I think....it's popular on tumblr because tumblr is the only social media platform [arguable] that rewards to longform posting; and obviously it's popular in publication, more on the internet because half the fun is the endless stream of hyperlink embedded throughout, like oh! the fun is in the tangent that has a reference and another article behind it. the style is vaguely stream of thought consciousness that follows a thin vague thread, that bounces off every related surface and topic possible, and the idea is to make as many references as possible, whether they're obscure For Real or just obscure because they make no sense; you are describing something, reflecting on something, using other things. it's so fun to read because you have to be as immersed in the niches and subcultures as op is to understand any of it; and it's still fun and insane to read when you're not - just because of the idea that someone else is; someone else knows this stuff and is neurotic about it. that's the other thing; op has to have like Levels of neuroticism to even make it work. this article is perhaps, slightly calmer but the idea is the same. i think it emulates heavily jargoned academic papers, except it's in casual language and the heavy jargon is all in the knowledge being called to rather than the esoteric word choice, so it's much more accessible and less daunting.

the other thing i have to say about this; DAAAAAAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN her ability to write that she liked something, and then also to perceive the flaws in it's creation and creator; as well as the merits of it's creation and creator..... this is most deft review i've ever read, in that i didn't come out with a takeaway or ability to be like 'so she thought folklore was good' - it was just, such a solid, solid breakdown and what i got from it, was exactly as intended probably, is not that she thinks folklore is bad because taylor swift is so questionable, or that folklore is good thus taylor swift is forgiven; but just a discussion of these things. i don't know it was so thrilling to read in that sense. that no moral judgment was being made or overlooked, but just a series of talking points being laid out and the understanding that it's not about critically consuming media or acknowledging that it's problematique or so, but regardless of how good it is it's about the lack of endorsement. folklore is probably my AOTY but i wiiish i could talk about it as incisively as this did.

< Passport Photos > Amitava Kumar
this was mentioned in the bookclub server, so i searched it up...i think i will need access to my uni's library for the full thing but i did read the introduction offered on the website. man it really is something else when a book is about You. i don't look for my experiences to be mirrored in the media i consume, but i mean, you still feel the stab in your gut when it isn't there, you know. i was so worried, when i was walking into customs at toronto pearson, because the security guiding us to the lines were white, and with White People you never stop feeling like they're more aware of your skin than you're aware of them being aware of it...especially in a place like toronto, where it is easy to forget. but the guy at the desk who was actually processing me was brown, and my thoughts were: 

• i wonder if the family who's coming in for immigration, accented and all, here for the first couple times [my guess] is relieved to see a brown face to deal with them
• i wonder if he's as 50/50 on my lack of accent as i am on his... both of us definitely noticed it, and thought nothing of it because it was nothing to think about.
• god this is such a fucking toronto thing. of course the guy processing me is brown. i think this definitely made me laugh irl.

i don't know. i do think the amount of confidence i felt walking through pearson is not indicative of the experience this book seeks to highlight; but in a horrible twisted way, the unease i felt when waiting at dhaka international in may[2019]... that might be more to par.

< The Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction > Ursula K. Le Guin
this is my favourite thing i've read this month. year even. do i even have things to say? i just want everyone to read it. some lines:

It is hard to tell a really gripping tale of how I wrestled a wild-oat seed from its husk, and then another, and then another, and then another, and then another, and then I scratched my gnat bites, and Ool said something funny, and we went to the creek and got a drink and watched newts for a while, and then I found another patch of oats.... No, it does not compare, it cannot compete with how I thrust my spear deep into the titanic hairy flank while Oob, impaled on one huge sweeping tusk, writhed screaming, and blood sprouted everywhere in crimson torrents, and Boob was crushed to jelly when the mammoth fell on him as I shot my unerring arrow straight through eye to brain.

If it is a human thing to do to put something you want, because it’s useful, edible, or beautiful, into a bag, or a basket, or a bit of rolled bark or leaf, or a net woven of your own hair, or what have you, and then take it home with you, home being another, larger kind of pouch or bag, a container for people, and then later on you take it out and eat it or share it or store it up for winter in a solider container or put it in the medicine bundle or the shrine or the museum, the holy place, the area that contains what is sacred, and then next day you probably do much the same again — if to do that is human, if that’s what it takes, then I am a human being after all. Fully, freely, gladly, for the first time.

So, when I came to write science-fiction novels, I came lugging this great heavy sack of stuff, my carrier bag full of wimps and klutzes, and tiny grains of things smaller than a mustard seed, and intricately woven nets which when laboriously unknotted are seen to contain one blue pebble, an imperturbably functioning chronometer telling the time on another world, and a mouse’s skull; full of beginnings without ends, of initiations, of losses, of transformations and translations, and far more tricks than conflicts, far fewer triumphs than snares and delusions; full of space ships that get stuck, missions that fail, and people who don’t understand. I said it was hard to make a gripping tale of how we wrested the wild oats from their husks, I didn’t say it was impossible. Who ever said writing a novel was easy?

Science fiction properly conceived, like all serious fiction, however funny, is a way of trying to describe what is in fact going on, what people actually do and feel, how people relate to everything else in this vast stack, this belly of the universe, this womb of things to be and tomb of things that were, this unending story. In it, as in all fiction, there is room enough to keep even Man where he belongs, in his place in the scheme of things; there is time enough to gather plenty of wild oats and sow them too, and sing to little Oom, and listen to Ool’s joke, and watch newts, and still the story isn’t over. Still there are seeds to be gathered, and room in the bag of stars.

 

reading these cuttings don't compare to reading the full thing. but i still did read some of it out to evon while we were on call together, because it was so good.

< Why I Love Butch Women > Carol A. Queen
lin is so much better at contextualizing things, especially things in reference to queer spheres than i am, and what qualms i had while reading this were quelled by her reminding me this is indicative of the time it was written in. anyway i am tired of reading about this kind of queer experience, that is so american. i want to read about an experience more relatable to me. i want to know how brown immigrants dealt with this. i want to know where the brown queer communities exist and what they look like and etc etc etc. and i think i am allowed to want that. to say that i don't really give a shit about this history that will never feel comfortable or familiar or relatable or meaningful to me. anyway, the other thing. i searched up Carol A. Queen, and i found Carol Queen and i have no idea if they're the same person [maybe so, maybe not] and i'm not sure how to confirm bar from grabbing a copy of dagger [the anthology this was selected from] and cross reference dates and author's notes. to me, Carol Queen is kind of an insane figure, and I'm like morbidly interesting in reading her BDSM erotica novel. i just think it'd be fun. but god isn't it kind of insane and hilarious people like this exist for real?! her title is Sexologist. goddddddd. am i allowed to be delighted and taking the piss out of this?


passport photos made me dig out this tumblr post which was linked by a different tumblr post, because i think the other tumblr post had interpreter of maladies linked at the top of it. anyway, so i looked up interpreter of maladies; found that two of the stories had been published by the new yorker and could be found in their archives. i now have a new yorker subscription, so. anyway i do want to say i should've gone for a paris review subscription INSTEAD because *is so extremely dismayed* the new yorker is owned by conde nast....anyway so i read:

< The Third and Final Continent, Sexy > Jhumpa Lahiri
it's again, Ah the feeling of reading something that is about You. i feel like the brown immigrant experience is, i don't know i think these are depictions much more relatable to any other person, than if it was a story centered around the Marked Otherness of being an immigrant. sometimes, it's just about learning to live in the new place. the third and final continent was good, but sexy was better. because it was such an interesting juxtaposition of who was the white woman and who was the brown woman, and how the white woman was interested in the brown man, and how that made her sympathetic to the brown woman. probably more to say about that than i am saying, but the note it ended on, that the white woman and the brown woman weren't the same, but instead could understand each other, and the white woman could offer her sympathy. i am oversimplifying and undersimplifying at the same time. but goddd. i have to say jhumpa lahiri is weak at endings, but that's fine. i highly recommend. sorry about the extremely large file sizes ;-;

< On the Jellicoe Road > Melina Marchetta
i was struck by horrible, instant episodes of Depression, let's say. building feelings of unease and waves of misery and endless, endless restlessness. i've been going to sleep at 3am so that's part of what i need to fix. anyway i kept picking this up when i got into a bad mood. so that's probably part of why i haven't been enjoying it but i'm going to persist through anyway. sora told me they liked it because it made them sad, and i'm honestly always chasing the high of the sarah dessen era of contemporary ya so. I MISS WHEN CONTEMPORARY WAS GOOD AND MADE ME FEEL LIKE THINGS REALLY WERE SO HUGE AND IMPORTANT. this is also something the much more genius and eloquent and brilliant and bright lin has spoken about, the All Encompassing Emotion of teenhood. anyway i really do like the narrator so much when u really are Not Like Other Girls [because you're a Freak for Real].

< I Want This Always > Jon Steinhagen
this was so fucking good. it was so so so fucking good. i love evocative memory. i love the concept of it being steeped in wind. i love that the memories being re-experienced are the ones worth re-experiencing. i don't have a deeper or nicer insight into this just that....i dunno there's a way i like to recall the best memories and this really captures it. it's just such a good read, jo has way smarter things to say about it in their post.

i spent friday on ch.4 of my python coding book, and going through the Letter to My Younger Self collection on the player's tribune. more on that later, this eventually sparked some discussion on e-sports, and lead to this medium article:

< Idle Worship — untangling the mythos of Runaway > bonnie qu
i think this has come up before but i love uncovering new subcultures of the internet; the endless and astounding things people have to be weird over and the endless and astounding ways people choose to the weird about them. it delights me immeasurably. my hobby is not hunting down these corners of the internet and learning about them, but it'd be a good one. could even have a series on dw where i do an in-depth dive into a new thing. but, i digress. anyway i like how succinctly op got down to the nature of why we obsess over these things:

I know that Runaway wasn’t always what we envisioned them to be. They might not ever have been. I know that they had conflict and controversies and near-retirements. I know they had long nights and arguments and the clashing of egos. I know they were far from perfect. But sometimes, what we want something to be is more important than what it actually is. For me, believing in Runaway was always an opportunity for me to discard my skepticism and disillusionment. I needed there to be a story that made sense, for there to be a real hero, a team that didn’t just want to win but deserved to win. They were that for me, and I’ll miss them like hell.

More than anything, the mythos of Runaway represents our collective desire to believe in something real. Family. Loyalty. Togetherness. A kind of magic that was bigger than just them, some ineffable quality that touched the hearts and minds of every person it came across. We wanted to believe that there was something that could just be good, without an asterisk, without complication. Something so good that it was infallible. We wanted to believe in the fairytale so much that sometimes it almost seemed real. The hardest part isn’t going to be letting go of Runaway. The hardest part is going to be watching them let go of each other.

the point that the actuality of things don't matter, what we idealize them into, what we want them to be matters. i don't know if i have much more to say on that, but it is interesting. and explains why shipping and fanfic is so...prevalent huh. especially for horrible shows that did nothing right. as long as it has the parts, people will make something out of it huh.


so, finally:

< Letter to My Younger Self > The Player's Tribune
I went through all the women first because, of course i did? i've been thinking of the tweet that was like <all women should care more about women> and it's true, it's true. lin recommended some work by a dude who like, well i wouldn't know but the server finds the way he talks about women Interesting ... and i'm thinking of, just not reading out of principle. and that is something i'm Allowed to do, regardless of whether it's a thing i should do, or is a reasonable thing to do. god i was like, once sad in my bedroom after reading a tumblr post talking about sexism in india or something, and my mom came in and asked why i was sad and i said i was sad for those women and my mom ... i don't remember what she said but it was something like 'you don't care about the women in your own home [her]' ... we were on a rough patch then, and i remember thinking that she wasn't a feminist because she didn't show sympathy for those women but like, I Get It Now. i got it then, and i hated that i got it then, so i pretended just not to get it. a month or so ago, she was on the phone and she mentioned how women have it easier in bangladesh, and i remember hearing that and being like 'you hate women so much' but then she stated her argument and i was like 'why do u literally understand everything and have such reasonable but outlandish takes.' my mom is like....so rational and literally a horrific genius. granted she was talking about middle-class, city women. but i think she knew that. anyway all this to say that i don't think my mom's brand of feminism is the most epic ever, or uplifting. but i don't knowww i hope my brand of #feminism is more reasonable and looks more respectable on the surface and has the follow through and is more respectable. i care about women, i like being a girl, it is possibly my favourite space to inhabit.

i was going to talk about baru but i started reading baru on saturday, so it can't count for this week's roundup.

next week….hopefully i get through so much tennis because i was having fun and would like to have fun past the fifth episode; ken liu’s the paper menagerie has come in and some of my other library books are in transit [the little prince; a little history] … so physical books in my hands! 17776 and tim tebow are things i want to read, particularly jo's recs on the library channel backlog...<3 <3 <3 and jjk catch-up! i also do want to dig through the new yorker archives....so much to read in this world huh?

Comments

[linedrove]

first of allllll, i just wanna say i love reading your thoughts on what you read and i genuinely enjoy your readlist posts!!! i guess i'll just list down the things that i was thinking about/jumped out at me while scrolling through:

> "anyway i am tired of reading about this kind of queer experience, that is so american. i want to read about an experience more relatable to me. [...] and i think i am allowed to want that. to say that i don't really give a shit about this history that will never feel comfortable or familiar or relatable or meaningful to me."

i really love this. i haven't actually gone through the butch/femme reader yet, so i can't speak on that in itself but i think there's a lot of power in admitting that. the queer community isn't a monolith and neither are our varied experiences. and i think it's important to seek out spaces that are meaningful for you, and not just for the sake of it. otherwise what's the point?

> i'll be adding your recs by jhumpa lahiri to my readlist, ty!!

> i'm sooo pleased you liked 'i want this always'. idk how to describe the feeling in a non-pretentious way, but i felt like. struck (in a not-negative way). when i first read it. and i'm glad it/my vague thoughts about it resonated and meant something to you too.

> "the point that the actuality of things don't matter, what we idealize them into, what we want them to be matters." no other thoughts to add, just wanted to say i love this. AND ALSO, "my hobby is not hunting down these corners of the internet and learning about them, but it'd be a good one.".......weirdly enough, i had this same thought after #bookclub's extended tangent on sports/esports. it was such an interesting discussion, i need to remember to go back and save the commentary. it'd be so fun to do a series on subcultures/about why and how people care about the things they do.

> "and i'm thinking of, just not reading out of principle. and that is something i'm Allowed to do, regardless of whether it's a thing i should do, or is a reasonable thing to do."

once again, not to imply that you want or need any kind of validation from me, but. this makes a lot of sense. i admire that you draw a hard line between what you can and can't tolerate and that you stand your ground. there were a lot of other things about rogers' personality that spoke to me personally, which is what kept me reading. also i wanted to Discuss with lin because i always find her takes fascinating. so. another thing that kept me reading. but it's frustrating that i felt like i had to let certain things slide in order to feel connected to his story. but it's even more frustrating that like. no one's forcing me to make that decision, you know? but i do it anyway. and i think it'd be interesting to parse out the Why of it all, but not here, obviously.

sorry this is so long and rambly, as always. just wanna end with -- i felt an echo in my own memories when i read the bit about feminism/your mom, because i've had almost that exact conversation with my own. and i don't have any other intelligent thoughts to add but. yeah *galaxy brains connecting meme*

[markohmark]

[insert convoluted story about how i stumbled across ur journal thru A) the comment ficathon and B) my terrible habit of trawling thru random ppl's journals on dreamwidth]

sorry if this is kind of odd/out of the blue but i'm obsessed with your commentary & have bookmarked a lot of this stuff to read now ;;

a small list of what i especially appreciated

• omg IM ALSO OBSESSED WITH NOTION although i've only used it for aggregating meta/vlive content i've watched while researching for rpf fic purposes. yes i'm insane

• i bookmarked the tswift review because i am terrible @ articulating my opinion on things but i love reading content where ppl give their opinions on things and then support it well [thinks abt this dw post] [thinks abt this dw post] [um]

• anyway i am tired of reading about this kind of queer experience, that is so american. i want to read about an experience more relatable to me. i want to know how brown immigrants dealt with this. i want to know where the brown queer communities exist and what they look like and etc etc etc. HARD RELATE... i've never seen someone else express this [mostly bcs there are not that many other fellow brown/desi ppl in the fandom spaces i used to occupy] AND I JUST. !!! i feel seen

• i'm honestly always chasing the high of the sarah dessen era of contemporary ya so losing my mind @ this i, too, bingeread a bunch of sarah dessen novels when i was younger

• and oh god the discussion abt diff types of feminism w/ ur mom -- why have i literally had similar experiences. ummmm the brown solidarity or wtvr

im so sorry for this especially since i am just a random person on the internet [albeit one who exists somewhat within the same krpf circles] but... i am genuinely enamored by ur content and just want to support u in ur reading & archiving & content-creating endeavors!! HSKALJ:FK"

you are so brave

[fwcu]

hello! okay i have to laugh just a little bit, just a little. but thank you for leaving me a comment and Making Yourself Known LOL. i've definitely trawled through random journals, and kept up with updates from people who's commentary i enjoy but i've never had the guts or thought of even? to reach out/comment so directly. so i think this is incredible and you are incredible, even if brash and bold. but there's nothing wrong with that! i think i'm just getting nerves from how like, we simply could be the same person and it's very strange to just have the mirror look back and comment.

anyway, honestly i think we just missed each other wrt fandom circles - i think maybe just as i [or just before] i left nctdom, you might've gotten into it, or at least, into the same circles of mutualdom. but wow isn't it great that the internet is small and fic circles even smaller looool.

um, in order:
>i love this for you. if i had the patience to sit through content of my faves i would do the same. ISN'T NOTION'S DATABASE SYSTEM SO FUN? for some reason i'm obsessed with it. this needs to be updated [will happen sometime soon] but me and some friends have been exchanging recs here, so if you want more things to read!

>i'm very flattered LOL ummmm! it's always been a dream of mine to exert some form of parasocial influence/relationship/etc onto someone. Thank U, Truly

>honestly i feel like being brown on the internet is like, you have a poc-free-card, but otherwise both a blessing and a curse nothing else about the box gets spoken about. anyway being brown and lgbt is so ... well It Is An Experience!

>i really do think that we are maybe the same person and/or clones and/or each other's social experiments. will compile some evidence and return.

this was very very sweet, thank you miss ao3 user permutative!

redacted confessions of ████ in case sora is watching and ready to kill me

[fwcu]

jo u can't do this to me I Am In Love With U (not in a way where i would ever steal u from ur commonlaw marriage partner and obsessive love interest, in like, shrimpy junior looks up to u A Weird Amount. i would never presume to be an actual love rival).

>re/butch/femme reader, i think at some point i wanted to know more about queer theory and do queer readings, and now have realized that, i really can't relate to or find myself to want to know more about the queer community in the past...again i think it's that point of people thinking you have to be informed about something to respect it; personally i relate and find more comfort in what the queer community [and i mean like, regular people who are out and having fun, i.e tyler gaca; alll those tiktok lesbians; Gay People I Respect, etc] that exists now, rather than what existed in the past. and i think i'm happier to realize this!

>i rllyyy hope you like the lahiri shorts, i was very hesitant to rec them to the bookclub discord, and ultimately ended up not doing so as they were stories i personally resonated with more than being things i'd recommend. but hopefully you'll find something to appreciate, even if it's not for the reasons i did <3

>i will redact my thoughts about i want this always because i wanted to comment on YOUR post first BUT YOU HAVE BEATEN ME TO IT!!! THE WOE. THE SHAME. THE PAIN. in my horrible sunwoo-esque worldview about how mentor-mentee [what i've classified us as] relationships should work, well simply, i should be leaving you 3 comments every single post and you should never ever ever deign me worthy of your attention unless i say something particularly brilliant and then you transform it into something better and practically miraculous. i genuinely feel like i am revealing all my cards here, BUT HOW ELSE WILL YOU UNDERSTAND?!

>i'm so obsessed with the crazy shit u can find on the internet. idk if you've ever joined yuletide or so, but they posted their prompts spreadsheet and that shit is so fucking whackkkkk. i just want to go into the brain of every single person who wants like, 9th century roman rpf and be like Why Do U Think Ceaser Bottoms?

>lin is soooooo. i feel like she always points out things i will never notice/never see! it's so exhilarating to talk to her LMFAO. i'm still on the fence about whether or not i'll read tim rogers, but right it's very ... conundrum-y to figure out where you want to draw the line and how strict you want to be with it. honestly we hate to say it, but a case-by-case basis where however we feel on a certain day can just, be a good enough reason.

lastly... i'm glad WE ALL have mommy issues.

Re: redacted confessions of ████ in case sora is watching and ready to kill me

[linedrove]

pleaseeee i'm so flattered. it's very strange (not in a bad way) to have someone look up to me??? since i don't feel like a role model of any kind. unless i'm being used as an example of What Not To Do. but THANK U, I LOVE UUUU <3

> i feel this. i'm also not someone who's v informed abt queer history. that's more teeks' area of expertise. but i'm also really comfortable where i'm at now. idk. getting older it feels less urgent to me to find community like i probably needed when i was younger. ofc my Queerness is still important to me, but it feels more and more like an incidental part of my identity that i really don't think abt much these days. or stress over. i just want to live my own life. in no one's shadow but my own. and maybe that's selfish/naive? but i'm happy with my choices. i also feel like that's what our gay ancestors would've wanted. i support every single corny tiktok lesbian btw. my Comrades

> 1) YES, I LOVE TO WIN. 2) screaminggggg @ sunwoo-esque worldview re: mentor-mentee relationships. i am also fr shocked by this revelation. fwiw, i've always viewed us as intellectual + social equals and i genuinely think that EVERYTHING you say is brilliant and worthy of attention. i restrain myself from replying to every post/tweet bc i don't want to be weird. but you are a Genius, to ME. IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I AM SERIOUS.

> i've never joined yuletide, or written fic for that matter. but i'd seriously love to see this spreadsheet. thanks for forcing me to ponder the validity of Caesar Bottoming hypothesis til my dying day also

> lin is so fun!!! and smart!!!! ty for introducing her to the server. i always appreciate hearing her view on things. and yeah, judging everything on a case-by-case basis is my current philosophy. when i drop my problematic thesis on GoT after my reread >>>>

tentative titles: Apparently Sexism Is Good, Sometimes / How To Make Sexism Work For YOU

also, not related to any of the above. but i love that you gained a random admirer on this post. not even being remotely facetious. that's so cute. your mind. your impact. your influence.

in closing -- us (handshake emoji) hyunjae

(using icon u hate as act of love)

[cdg]

umm I'm drinking cofe and just woke up not too long ago so am not going to google markdown formatting and do anything too crazy ... but I do love you!

taylor swift is the greatest american popstar ok I am going to read this very soon and also send this to my friend I love how you reviewed this. and also the way in which you explained it, esp. the writing style, even w/o taking a single look I feel like I understand what you mean ... I just love how you explain things ... (gets very emotional suddenly) also I love what you said also re: tumblr is the only social media platform that rewards longform posting, I think that's so true and was/is one of my favorite things about it! also will send this to my swiftie irl <3

the carrier bag theory of fiction I love her. I still need to read this ... I will do it today!

why I love butch women actually I am just a stupid little guy ... just a dummy fool ... but you are so sweet and I love u. also I know we've talked about this a lot before alrdy LOL but ... Yeahhh. can we pleaseeee get some filial asian daughter queer theory for us Specificallyyyyy!!!!

the third & final continent / sexy these sound really interesting, loved how you describe the dynamic of "sexy" ... someone rec'd her book the namesake to me and this just reminded me about it, I will read these soon & the namesake in the near future too :)

on the jellicoe road 1) OH NO NOW I HAVE TO READ THIS TOO ... so glad I read thru this before beginning my 2021 reading list post, this sounds like So Much like in the best way possible 2) SHUT UPPPPP YOUUUU ARE THE MUCH MORE GENIUS ELOQUENT BRILLIANT BRIGHT ONE BETWEEN US AND I LIKE IT THAT WAY!!! 3) "the high of the sarah dessen era of contemporary ya" I ... am going to sob. the way you Get It. the way perhaps we are all chasing after that high, like how we are all chasing after the high of 2016-2017 overwatch ... what is ur fave sarah dessens I MUST know!!

I want this always UMMM this sounds perfect I am crying over how you worded this review, "i love evocative memory. i love the concept of it being steeped in wind. i love that the memories being re-experienced are the ones worth re-experiencing." like if your review is already this striking & beautiful I am going to be delighted to experience the text that inspired it, love you

letter to my younger self u r soooo valid ... u r so valid. and dksjgsksjagh idk what else to say here except that truly I do love you ... so much!

this was soooo fun to read, it made me want to read everything, and as always reading your thoughts is one of the most wonderful epic readings of all ... tysm for gracing us w/ this <3

Re: redacted confessions of ████ in case sora is watching and ready to kill me

[cdg]

just replying to let u both know I did read these and am going to narcissistically not mention any of the genius discussion the two of u had (which I very much enjoyed reading btw) but mention that I see what u said about me and I am very moved and emotional and honored that u guys would say any of what u did about me b/c you are both so cool and genius and kind and like I just think if I could submit candidates for ppl's brains to be preserved forever I would submit both of urs on the merit that I think you are both just so epic and the world doesn't deserve u but is made better by u. sry I'm like approaching my period. adore & love u both!!!!