okay honestly I disagree with that being the theme... I think if the book was just about >a woman's lot is to suffer< it wouldn't have been as good.
to me, the most striking realization of that line is that it's repeated a fair few times throughout the book, but at the last instance, it's followed by >we teach our daughters that they must suffer, but we don't teach our sons<. if anything, that acknowledges the strength of character of the daughters, the shortsightedness of how men are raised, and points out the weakness of men, and it's due to how they are unable to handle suffering on their own, that they take it out on the women around them. it acknowledges what went wrong in their stories and where it went wrong.
women suffering is a reasonable start point, but to end it there just degrades what it means to be a woman honestly. and I think the book does all it can to defeat that notion. it acknowledges that we're given an unfair hand and that it undercuts what we're able to do, but regardless of that, we're worthy of being given the attention and acknowledgement, even if all we are, are 'just' mothers and daughters and wives. sungja being the central character that we always return back to - even though she's contrasted by all these men who have far more 'interesting' or 'successful' stories, is the most meaningful acknowledgement of this.
and the reason why hana's story also stood out to me, and is the one that stays with me most as well [something we agree on!], is that by all metrics, both in a story and in real life, she's worthless. she's a stupid girl who fucked up her life and screwed up at every opportunity possible. she was terrible to everyone around her, she ended up as a prostitute and an alcoholic and trash. and still to the people who loved her, she was important. and still to the story, and the author, she was worth including and writing about. not as a lesson or a tragedy, but as a person and a woman. she was allowed her dignity and respect til the last moment, and that's what strikes me most about her story and the book.
I'm not saying that women don't suffer. I just think the point of womanhood is not that. and the point of the book also isn't that the worth in these women and their stories were due to their suffering, but simply because they were women and their stories have worth just like anyone else's.
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momijizukamori
lmfao sorry for personal feminism rant I'm about to make u read
Date: 2021-09-08 06:51 pm (UTC)to me, the most striking realization of that line is that it's repeated a fair few times throughout the book, but at the last instance, it's followed by >we teach our daughters that they must suffer, but we don't teach our sons<. if anything, that acknowledges the strength of character of the daughters, the shortsightedness of how men are raised, and points out the weakness of men, and it's due to how they are unable to handle suffering on their own, that they take it out on the women around them. it acknowledges what went wrong in their stories and where it went wrong.
women suffering is a reasonable start point, but to end it there just degrades what it means to be a woman honestly. and I think the book does all it can to defeat that notion. it acknowledges that we're given an unfair hand and that it undercuts what we're able to do, but regardless of that, we're worthy of being given the attention and acknowledgement, even if all we are, are 'just' mothers and daughters and wives. sungja being the central character that we always return back to - even though she's contrasted by all these men who have far more 'interesting' or 'successful' stories, is the most meaningful acknowledgement of this.
and the reason why hana's story also stood out to me, and is the one that stays with me most as well [something we agree on!], is that by all metrics, both in a story and in real life, she's worthless. she's a stupid girl who fucked up her life and screwed up at every opportunity possible. she was terrible to everyone around her, she ended up as a prostitute and an alcoholic and trash. and still to the people who loved her, she was important. and still to the story, and the author, she was worth including and writing about. not as a lesson or a tragedy, but as a person and a woman. she was allowed her dignity and respect til the last moment, and that's what strikes me most about her story and the book.
I'm not saying that women don't suffer. I just think the point of womanhood is not that. and the point of the book also isn't that the worth in these women and their stories were due to their suffering, but simply because they were women and their stories have worth just like anyone else's.