reflection.
Aug. 11th, 2021 07:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fwcuI was telling lin the other day, that when I have a het ship, in my mind they literally never kiss or touch sexually ever. and that's the Peak of romance. TO ME. and then she laughed at me. how is it my fault my ideal romance is two people who only touch hands like once and for the other 100% of the time make brief eye contact.
anyway, that led to some reflection. I don't think I understand what a romantic relationship is. anyway some of my top ships from the past few months. sorry if I sound crazed but writing this out is making me realize how batshit I truly am.
APPEAL: this is a het ship. how can two boys be a het ship? THEY CAN. atobe is a girl and if you don't get it u don't get it.
APPEAL: the most unhappy toxic het ship you will ever ship in your whole life. you know how in like gone girl, she commits murder and pins it on him and then they have to get back together to clear their names. it's literally like that. when you marry a boy because he is the best tennis player in the world and you need to own all the best tennis players in the world. and you think it's true love, because to you, possession is love.
APPEAL: how can a ship that is TWO BOYS be so steeped with all the complexes that comes with toxic girlboss branded feminism? ATOBE IS A GIRL. before you try to think, or perhaps not think, just think. atobe literally being born into so much privilege that she doesn't understand how the patriarchy affects her because it doesn't, but at the same time, it still literally does! girls who are stuck in a box!!! which is why she doesn't own a strap and she and tez will never be 'happy' at any level because it's literally just about Appearances and Love, is technically A Tennis Contract. literally don't ask me how I got all this out of ATOBE, but I did <3
APPEAL: narrative foils to narrative parallels to narrative reflections. I really am just saying words, but it's not about their actual relationship as much as it is what they see in each other and what they mean to each other and how all of that is unsaid and sparsely communicated and culminates to THE YUKIAKA CHAPTER. if youre a ykakist you know which one it is.
APPEAL: these people are not kissing or having sex though like I wouldn't mind. the VISION and THE APPEAL is that yuki is kiri's unreachable dream. like it is so important and romantic because it is tragic first love!!! you didn't realize you Loved him at the time! being so caught up in beating him/filling his shoes/etc etc that you never realized WHY you were chasing after him!!! if kissing happens, then it's very much like a single kiss out of pity, or Promise. not actually out of Love/Attraction but like, older figure is relenting. does anyone knowww this trope.
APPEAL: when it's TRUE LOVE because he's the one you entrust with your dream [beating tennis without tenimuho] but it's not true love because it's just not.
APPEAL: kiri thinks yuki is a girl. does not realize he is the maiden of the dynamic.
fujikiri
note: this isn't even like, a true tennis ship of mine. however, it just is one I think about A Fair Amount.
APPEAL: that manga cap of fuji damsel holding kiri.
APPEAL: [insane people things to say] the way fuji would let kiri fuck him and be dead fish pillow princess about it because he's just waiting for it to end, just so kiri stops being annoying about it, and then later, because kiri is annoying and teenage boy about it and telling everyone he fucked fuji, fuji fucks him just so kiri realizes he wasn't being serious that time and also isn't into kiri, and that's when it gets bad for kiri For Real. what can I say I'm an Allkiri/kiriAll enjoyer. and fujikiri is literally the Best place to indulge in it.
APPEAL: MISTREATMENT AND ERASURE CAN BE SO PERSONAL ACTUALLY... fuji who does not care at all about kiri and treats him with neutral politeness and takes some degree of responsibility for him due to room201 bond, however not only is kiri so stupid and also fuji so princely, but obviously kiri is not understanding of the neutral face of politeness and it's. you see how this plays out. SOMETIMES A DUDE BLINDS U AND PRINCESSES CARRIES YOU AND ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR EXISTENCE TO THE BAREST DEGREE AND YOU SWOON... what can I say kiri is simply a mistreatment and gaslighting enjoyer! guys who are mean to you but are nice to you but are mean to you >>>
APPEAL: something something they are parallels of some sort surely. and also the deliciousness of settling for second place. and never being good enough to catch up to the person u seek. etc etc.
iantheharrow
APPEAL: NARRATIVE PARALLELS AND FOILS >>>>>>> also I am notorious ianthe 1pick. so obviously I want IANTHE, who has been denied it all, to HAVE all that she wants.
APPEAL: toxic love[less] marriage that will not end in divorce even though it should because one of you is the toxic abuser in question and the other believes that she deserves to suffer.... TASTE!!! TASTE!!! FLAVOUR!!! bitches will say they want true toxic relationships and true toxic love and then ship harrowgideon. IT WILL NEVER EVER BE HARROWIANTHE!!!!
APPEAL: when you are both deeply pathetic and horrible people and all your imperfections and flaws are reflected and exaggerated in the other and IANTHE STILL WINS. idc idc that tiktok about how marriage is about winning and the whole point of harrowianthe is that Ianthe is the superior one, that her life sucks and all but harrow's sucks worse, and also Ianthe will get everything she wants even if she will not be happy because it is impossible for someone as horrible and miserable as her to be happy. WHICH IS WHYYYYYYY she wins because no matter how horrible and miserable she is, harrow is more horrible and more miserable <3333
APPEAL: okay honestly they probably do have some really terrible hatesex but the whole point is that it's TERRIBLE because they're like. the same brand of deeply virgin extreme loser repressed scholar who has never felt the touch of a woman.
APPEAL: DIVORCEES. who are not actually divorced<3. the loveless marriageisms again, except we return to the point LOVE IS POSSESSION WHICH IS NOT LOVE AT ALL.
getogojo
APPEAL: ON THE TOPIC OF DIVORCE...
APPEAL: I think I would've never gotten this off on it if it wasn't about the TRAGEDY!!! something something you think you are someone's first and they are your first and You Both give each other up.
APPEAL: they can't touch romantically because one of them is DEAD. this whole list is like Ok damn some of us are Abstinence Fucker 100000. honestly there is something so romantic about never touching any person ever because you've devoted your whole life to one person and you guys don't even touch that much to be honest. or you know that person is dead.
APPEAL: love being moral failure <3
kaejean
APPEAL: Narrative-------- [the crowd is mouthing along the next words at this point which is making it hard for op not to feel embarrassed]
APPEAL: People who are In Love but Not In Love but In Love. loveless marriage 2.0 except the lack of love is not about simmering hatred or internal complexes, but self-imposed distance on both sides<3 the coworkerisms of it all. people you know better than yourself but only because both of you are like so dedicated to the same thing, rather than to each other.
APPEAL: the way it's like kaeya is devoted to jean, but jean is devoted to mond AGAINST jean being more fond of kaeya personally, while kaeya holds her at a distance and a much less personal light. idk how to explain this point. work-life balance but twisted and sick.
APPEAL: people who never ever touch because they're both repressed and if they do touch it's either very knightly or very coworkery. WHEN YOU ARE THE LADY AND SHE IS THE KNIGHT AND YOU ARE THE KNIGHT AND SHE IS THE LADY. crazyyyyy
trying to think of couples who actually do touch and the outliers are. almona. um. ummmm. I have to explain that it's not that I don't think of my ships having sex, it's that I think about them Not Having Sex. like I will truly be like 'and the Absolutely Nothing Happens.' and that's it. well I guess kirifuji have sex but that's like just twice. I completely forgot to mention dr but I'm so sick of writing this post already and also I think I make it obvious what drives dr for me. in um. every other post.
anyway damn it really is true that sometimes u don't care about the relationship you just care about how it reflects on each half's character and arcs....bitches who are only into shipping for THEMATIC IMPLICATIONS and NARRATIVE PURPOSES and PERSONAL COMPLEXES... you cannot go anywhere with me.
anyway, that led to some reflection. I don't think I understand what a romantic relationship is. anyway some of my top ships from the past few months. sorry if I sound crazed but writing this out is making me realize how batshit I truly am.
atotez
warning: this whole section is just [insane people things to say]APPEAL: this is a het ship. how can two boys be a het ship? THEY CAN. atobe is a girl and if you don't get it u don't get it.
APPEAL: the most unhappy toxic het ship you will ever ship in your whole life. you know how in like gone girl, she commits murder and pins it on him and then they have to get back together to clear their names. it's literally like that. when you marry a boy because he is the best tennis player in the world and you need to own all the best tennis players in the world. and you think it's true love, because to you, possession is love.
APPEAL: how can a ship that is TWO BOYS be so steeped with all the complexes that comes with toxic girlboss branded feminism? ATOBE IS A GIRL. before you try to think, or perhaps not think, just think. atobe literally being born into so much privilege that she doesn't understand how the patriarchy affects her because it doesn't, but at the same time, it still literally does! girls who are stuck in a box!!! which is why she doesn't own a strap and she and tez will never be 'happy' at any level because it's literally just about Appearances and Love, is technically A Tennis Contract. literally don't ask me how I got all this out of ATOBE, but I did <3
yukiaka
APPEAL: lady and dogAPPEAL: narrative foils to narrative parallels to narrative reflections. I really am just saying words, but it's not about their actual relationship as much as it is what they see in each other and what they mean to each other and how all of that is unsaid and sparsely communicated and culminates to THE YUKIAKA CHAPTER. if youre a ykakist you know which one it is.
APPEAL: these people are not kissing or having sex though like I wouldn't mind. the VISION and THE APPEAL is that yuki is kiri's unreachable dream. like it is so important and romantic because it is tragic first love!!! you didn't realize you Loved him at the time! being so caught up in beating him/filling his shoes/etc etc that you never realized WHY you were chasing after him!!! if kissing happens, then it's very much like a single kiss out of pity, or Promise. not actually out of Love/Attraction but like, older figure is relenting. does anyone knowww this trope.
APPEAL: when it's TRUE LOVE because he's the one you entrust with your dream [beating tennis without tenimuho] but it's not true love because it's just not.
APPEAL: kiri thinks yuki is a girl. does not realize he is the maiden of the dynamic.
fujikiri
note: this isn't even like, a true tennis ship of mine. however, it just is one I think about A Fair Amount.APPEAL: that manga cap of fuji damsel holding kiri.
APPEAL: [insane people things to say] the way fuji would let kiri fuck him and be dead fish pillow princess about it because he's just waiting for it to end, just so kiri stops being annoying about it, and then later, because kiri is annoying and teenage boy about it and telling everyone he fucked fuji, fuji fucks him just so kiri realizes he wasn't being serious that time and also isn't into kiri, and that's when it gets bad for kiri For Real. what can I say I'm an Allkiri/kiriAll enjoyer. and fujikiri is literally the Best place to indulge in it.
APPEAL: MISTREATMENT AND ERASURE CAN BE SO PERSONAL ACTUALLY... fuji who does not care at all about kiri and treats him with neutral politeness and takes some degree of responsibility for him due to room201 bond, however not only is kiri so stupid and also fuji so princely, but obviously kiri is not understanding of the neutral face of politeness and it's. you see how this plays out. SOMETIMES A DUDE BLINDS U AND PRINCESSES CARRIES YOU AND ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR EXISTENCE TO THE BAREST DEGREE AND YOU SWOON... what can I say kiri is simply a mistreatment and gaslighting enjoyer! guys who are mean to you but are nice to you but are mean to you >>>
APPEAL: something something they are parallels of some sort surely. and also the deliciousness of settling for second place. and never being good enough to catch up to the person u seek. etc etc.
iantheharrow
APPEAL: NARRATIVE PARALLELS AND FOILS >>>>>>> also I am notorious ianthe 1pick. so obviously I want IANTHE, who has been denied it all, to HAVE all that she wants. APPEAL: toxic love[less] marriage that will not end in divorce even though it should because one of you is the toxic abuser in question and the other believes that she deserves to suffer.... TASTE!!! TASTE!!! FLAVOUR!!! bitches will say they want true toxic relationships and true toxic love and then ship harrowgideon. IT WILL NEVER EVER BE HARROWIANTHE!!!!
APPEAL: when you are both deeply pathetic and horrible people and all your imperfections and flaws are reflected and exaggerated in the other and IANTHE STILL WINS. idc idc that tiktok about how marriage is about winning and the whole point of harrowianthe is that Ianthe is the superior one, that her life sucks and all but harrow's sucks worse, and also Ianthe will get everything she wants even if she will not be happy because it is impossible for someone as horrible and miserable as her to be happy. WHICH IS WHYYYYYYY she wins because no matter how horrible and miserable she is, harrow is more horrible and more miserable <3333
APPEAL: okay honestly they probably do have some really terrible hatesex but the whole point is that it's TERRIBLE because they're like. the same brand of deeply virgin extreme loser repressed scholar who has never felt the touch of a woman.
APPEAL: DIVORCEES. who are not actually divorced<3. the loveless marriageisms again, except we return to the point LOVE IS POSSESSION WHICH IS NOT LOVE AT ALL.
getogojo
APPEAL: ON THE TOPIC OF DIVORCE...APPEAL: I think I would've never gotten this off on it if it wasn't about the TRAGEDY!!! something something you think you are someone's first and they are your first and You Both give each other up.
APPEAL: they can't touch romantically because one of them is DEAD. this whole list is like Ok damn some of us are Abstinence Fucker 100000. honestly there is something so romantic about never touching any person ever because you've devoted your whole life to one person and you guys don't even touch that much to be honest. or you know that person is dead.
APPEAL: love being moral failure <3
kaejean
APPEAL: Narrative-------- [the crowd is mouthing along the next words at this point which is making it hard for op not to feel embarrassed]APPEAL: People who are In Love but Not In Love but In Love. loveless marriage 2.0 except the lack of love is not about simmering hatred or internal complexes, but self-imposed distance on both sides<3 the coworkerisms of it all. people you know better than yourself but only because both of you are like so dedicated to the same thing, rather than to each other.
APPEAL: the way it's like kaeya is devoted to jean, but jean is devoted to mond AGAINST jean being more fond of kaeya personally, while kaeya holds her at a distance and a much less personal light. idk how to explain this point. work-life balance but twisted and sick.
APPEAL: people who never ever touch because they're both repressed and if they do touch it's either very knightly or very coworkery. WHEN YOU ARE THE LADY AND SHE IS THE KNIGHT AND YOU ARE THE KNIGHT AND SHE IS THE LADY. crazyyyyy
trying to think of couples who actually do touch and the outliers are. almona. um. ummmm. I have to explain that it's not that I don't think of my ships having sex, it's that I think about them Not Having Sex. like I will truly be like 'and the Absolutely Nothing Happens.' and that's it. well I guess kirifuji have sex but that's like just twice. I completely forgot to mention dr but I'm so sick of writing this post already and also I think I make it obvious what drives dr for me. in um. every other post.
anyway damn it really is true that sometimes u don't care about the relationship you just care about how it reflects on each half's character and arcs....bitches who are only into shipping for THEMATIC IMPLICATIONS and NARRATIVE PURPOSES and PERSONAL COMPLEXES... you cannot go anywhere with me.
you are so smart and your meat is huge
Date: 2021-08-12 02:05 am (UTC)Re: you are so smart and your meat is huge
Date: 2021-08-12 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-08-12 11:23 am (UTC)your take on fujikiri is interesting tho, that's a ship i've been trying to make work but there kind of isn't enough there. it's just yet another one of fuji's not serious ♠flings/potentially unrequited ♠crush on kiri's end... thinky thinky
+ ofc ianthe♠harrow so true so real so in the text so canonical
wrong opinions incoming...
Date: 2021-08-12 11:31 pm (UTC)well I guess firstly... my atobe takes are all out of self-preservation bc he is for real masculine gay man woman hater, and I cannot like any characters who hate women, so the only way for me to remedy that was to make him a girl. and in my visions he is a girl who is a boy!!! in my head, it's like >only girl child who was born into extreme wealth and privilege, and therefore was treated exactly like the only boy child who would be born into extreme wealth and privilege... which leads into never realizing being a girl is different from being a boy, which leads into all those complexes that girls who don't understand that they're both complicit in the patriarchy and also a victim of it have ... which somehow ties into his crazed must control all girlboss dictator thing along with being extremely generous and weirdo. which to me, are all extremely epic traits for a girl and completely -_- on a guy. idk him slipping was super azula-esque to me and if u just make him a girl they're 1/2 of the same character<3
second, I do think atotez is endgame!!! I just think it's endgame in a fairly toxic slightly unhappy het way... i.e where tezuka is useless man who contributes nothing, and atobe has fucked up views of Love and Romance and really as long as she puts a ring on it, it means she owns it, and that means it must be Happiness and Love... also I also think atobe breaking tezuka's arm was the pinnacle of tennis romance [at it's time] [yukikiri will upstage it later on] but I actually see it as a toxic gf move bc breaking his arm under the guise of tennis just to indebt him 2 u is extremelyyyyy girls resorting to underhanded tactics to force codependency to meeee... and then it later backfiring and failing is extremely girlboss_losses to me as well... Idk I see them as very very het because they seem to so classically encapsulate all the failures of traditional het <3 but all the same it IS happyend/goodend/etc because it works for them. which is also part of the appeal.
also, dueling another suitor for your beloved is not a male trait to me tho. and I hate when men do stuff like that anyway. what I will say is girl_trait is the pathetic pining and desperation + acting out with niou that atobe commits... which is COMPOUNDED with the girlbossery of using extremely underhanded methods [female appeal] to entice niou onto your side and ruin rikkai team harmony. hello tezuka fucking off to germany and leaving all the middle schoolers in atobe's hands is literally husband going off to war and leaving wife with ownership of the estate...
also then tez literally humiliating atobe on during worldcup or whatever is also extremely a gender coded moment bc humiliating things like that only happen to girls and it spurs his #self_improvement arc ... it's very much dude dumps his toxic gf who was holding him back and the crowd cheers... except somehow we are supposed to be rooting for the toxic girlboss gf in question...
anyway. atobe gender theorizing aside.
(1) I hate Tezuka, so I would literally never give him the honour of being designated girl.
(2) making him a girl would actually be a microaggression because you are telling me you want a girl to just be a symbol onto which all the men around her project their desires and she has no real autonomy or personality or anything... ...Right.
(3) tez is a better Man candidate imo bc he's useless and does nothing and will occasionally say something Commanding/Demanding that he expects people to listen to.
(4) YUKIMURA [who I understand you are not a fan of] is the only lady in the series and u expect me to put tez on the same level...disscusting...
onto something we will probably agree more on...
re:fujikiri... ok honestly I think I understand fuji like 0% bc like 99% of all his moments and complexes are hinged on tezuka and I hate tezuka and pretend he does not exist. so. however wrt fujikiri I do have a collection of screenshots in which kiri stands near fuji so I think it's true and real that fuji is on kiri's list of upperclassmen he wants to defeat [read: looks up to and loves] and fuji is more or less on babysitting duty... there really is like only 3% there but all the same it is because fuji's relationships are so flimsy and transient that fujikiri is good bc kiri is about going 100% and going all in for no reason. the recipe for failure and greatness<333
harrowianthe my beloved<3
Re: wrong opinions incoming...
Date: 2021-08-13 07:48 am (UTC)LMAOOOOOOOO i disagree..... i disagree. well for one thing i find atobe's woman hating funny so we're just not going to see eye to eye there. atobe♀ is difference but atobe♂ is literally just ceo@business.net gijinka to me, so like idk about all that. it's not any deeper than this.
atobe het ❌❌❌ one of my very few landmines. it's not realistic, it's just not realistic!!! i'm not really interested in meowmeowzoning atobe really bc even when he loses he wins and being in a depressing beard marriage for respectability purposes is not something winners do!!! i like het as much as the next guy but atobe is just not like that. at all. to me.
also then tez literally humiliating atobe on during worldcup or whatever is also extremely a gender coded moment bc humiliating things like that only happen to girls and it spurs his #self_improvement arc ... it's very much dude dumps his toxic gf who was holding him back and the crowd cheers... except somehow we are supposed to be rooting for the toxic girlboss gf in question... YOU'RE INSANE. first of all no one liked that, second of all that was irie's mansplain manipulate malewife noncon mentorship at work, third of all and most crucially He Whipped My Ass In Tennis Then I Fucked His Ass In Bed is the atotez thesis statement atobe literally likes to work for it + getting the #1 attainable object is the biggest win
also there can be multiple girls, YOU are the one tokenizing girlhood. this is why nyotaverse >>> canon... lesbianism just makes everything better, lets leave it at that
+ i'll have more fujikiri rotations once me and ciel get to rikkai in our rewatch